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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter (13) has pierced own ears

134 replies

EllaMozarella · 17/03/2026 21:20

Hello MN,
Noticed this eve that instead of 2 earrings in each ear, my child now has 3…
Pierced her ‘3rds’ herself on Friday, used a needle which she cleaned with anti-bac gel. 😮
I was really angry & immediately confiscated her phone, cancelled her plans for after school tomorrow, made her clean the bathroom & have an early bedtime. Now I just feel really surprised that she did it herself & hid it for 4 days… HOW?
AIBU to be cross, & mega disappointed (I am also relieved she hasn’t had any infections…. Yet!?)

OP posts:
AnonSugar · 17/03/2026 21:22

It’s done. Just tell her not to be stupid enough to do it again.

decorationday · 17/03/2026 21:22

Oh gosh, I am trying to think of something useful to say but I am feeling a bit queasy at the thought of that.

stickydough · 17/03/2026 21:24

I’m sure I’d be horrified too, but a part of me is actually impressed. She’s badass!

Isittimeformynapyet · 17/03/2026 21:25

That's a whole catalogue of punishments - I think you've made your point.

1990s · 17/03/2026 21:26

I did my own at a slightly older age. Yes worth a telling off but really it’s not the end of the world is it?

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 17/03/2026 21:27

At the same age, my sister pierced holes all the way up her ear - I think she did about 5 piercings. I was both horrified and secretly impressed with her bravery. My mum was not so impressed and made her take all the earrings out and grounded her!

RoniaCheetah · 17/03/2026 21:28

Ha! I did one of my own a little older than that and also did my sister's. We both lived to tell the tale

MrsMitford3 · 17/03/2026 21:28

I did mine with a bunch of friends-think I was around 15.

I would gently say you are overreacting.

Just keep it clean

RoseField1 · 17/03/2026 21:28

Chill. Don't most teenage girls pierce their own ears? Kidding - I know not most but a huge number do, I did it several times at 14. My mum told me that was very silly and we moved on. You've overreacted massively and you need to get your thoughts in order otherwise when she does something genuinely awful you'll have nowhere to go!!

ChaToilLeam · 17/03/2026 21:28

I can understand why she hides things from you. Total overreaction.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 17/03/2026 21:29

Yabu and have overreacted sorry x

babyt2020 · 17/03/2026 21:29

Everyone did stuff like that when I was 14! My aunty let me pierce her ears with a needle and ice cubes to numb it and she was fine 🤣 then I got a piercing gun and some of my old school friends have still got their nose piercings now!

mondaytosunday · 17/03/2026 21:29

My friend said practically her whole class went behind the shed to pierce each other ears around that age!
I think you’ve gone way over the top with the punishment.

Neveranynamesleft · 17/03/2026 21:29

Why on earth did you make her clean the bathroom ?

ColdAsAWitches · 17/03/2026 21:30

Why are you disappointed? She already has piercings and tried to be clean. Lots of kids do this. Sorry, I'm another that thinks you're overreacting.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 17/03/2026 21:31

The idea of doing my own ears makes me feel queasy.

But for an ear piercing I don’t think I’d be that angry. Yes it’s a bit stupid because of the infection risk, but if she has two in each ear clearly you don’t have an issue with piercings themselves, so I don’t think she’s particularly done anything wrong.

Are you able to explain why you’re so cross?

Endofyear · 17/03/2026 21:31

When I was 14, my friend pierced my ear with one of her studs that we 'sterilised' with a lighter, while we were sat on the school field! When I got home my mum was furious, made me take it out and cleaned it with iodine which bloody stings! I didn't do it again 😂

holidaymay · 17/03/2026 21:33

i Pierced my own ears at the age of 14. 3 in each ear, using ice cubes and a needle I had burnt over the stove to sterilise it 😂.

my mum just nodded and said ‘oh lovely’.

I’ve still got my ears pierced and I’m senior in a professional industry. ears piercings have never come up as a topic of conversation in all my years.

what are you disappointed in?

ReadingCrimeFiction · 17/03/2026 21:35

Yeah, I think you're over reacting here. I'm quite impressed she used anti bacterial gel actually. shows some forethought there.

Telling off, yes. But in the bigger scheme of things, not that big a deal.

Diversion · 17/03/2026 21:37

Not uncommon back in the 80's, lots of us did the same. I do think that your punishment was a little over the top and we know that lots of teenagers will rebel even more once they know that their parents do not approve of their dress code. Encourage her to keep the piercings clean and encourage her to get them done professionally at a recommended piercing studio in future. As a Mum with piercings, this was my rule, none of my children really bothered, one had her navel pierced and that was it. Do remind her though that school may not allow multiple piercings and that this is a rule which needs to be respected until she is at least at college.

NewZebra · 17/03/2026 21:37

Huge overreaction.

Dontpretenditssuchamystery · 17/03/2026 21:37

If she already has two in each ear then what is the issue with having a third ?

Porkpieandmustard · 17/03/2026 21:38

I did this, around the same age.
Actually my friend did it for me. She brought a flask of ice from home to numb my ears 😂

It was because my mum wouldn’t let me have my ears pierced.

There was a fuss, my mum went mad, we all survived.

I can see now it was a bit stupid, in terms of hygiene. (We did it at school in the toilets).

MargotMoon · 17/03/2026 21:38

My DD did this when she was 14 and I was slightly horrified but mostly impressed.

sunsetsites · 17/03/2026 21:38

The idea of punishing this to such a degree is weird.