Daughter (13) has pierced own ears

[EllaMozarella]

Hello MN,
Noticed this eve that instead of 2 earrings in each ear, my child now has 3…
Pierced her ‘3rds’ herself on Friday, used a needle which she cleaned with anti-bac gel. 😮
I was really angry & immediately confiscated her phone, cancelled her plans for after school tomorrow, made her clean the bathroom & have an early bedtime. Now I just feel really surprised that she did it herself & hid it for 4 days… HOW?
AIBU to be cross, & mega disappointed (I am also relieved she hasn’t had any infections…. Yet!?)

Isn’t at home piercings why potatoes were invented? 😂

So she’s already got two in each ear?
Massive overreaction from you as you allowed those?

Yep, pierced my own (seconds and thirds ) and several of my friends at school! Went further than ears and did my nose using ice cubes to numb it 🤣 that hurt! I think mum probably just said that’s a daft thing to do. I survived to tell the tale

TEMU and SHEIN sell piercing guns, my daughter did her thirds with a pal at 14. I wasn’t particularly amused but no harm no foul. She got fed up of them and took them out. No infections or anything ensued.

I pierced my own nose at this age after being told i couldn't have my nose pierced. I used my mums gin to sterilise it she was not happy 🤣🤣

Not what you want to hear but fair play to her! Wish id had the guts to do mine myself! 🤣

My best friend did my second piercings in my ears when we were about 14 (I am now 60). My mother got over it eventually 😆😆.

I must have been living under a rock for 40+ years because i know of no one who has pierced their own ears!

Fair play to her….I feel a bit faint just reading that! I knew of girls who pierced their own noses by sticking freeze pops up their nose then shoving a safety pin in. 🤢 I’m not sure if I’d be horrified or impressed if any of mine had done that!

To make you feel better my dd had hers done at a very reputable tattoo shop (needle) and she got infected 3 weeks (!) later, so personally in my opinin, its all about aftercare and not "how" it was done.

This. I did mine the night before my mock Maths O’level (like GCSEs in Scotland) - it was weeping haemo-serous fluid and throbbing like hell all through the exam. My exam paper was all sticky with the fluidy/bloody fingerprints from me trying to stem the flow. I completely flumped the exam but it taught me an important life lesson - only pierce your own body parts at home with a needle and an ice cube if you don’t have an important exam/meeting/interview/occasion the next day.

I am afraid lots of girls do this. At school usually.
They are teenagers and love to push the boundaries. It’s OK, try not to show her how hacked off you are.

2, 3. Not much difference

It's done now. Just keep it clean, and watch there's no issues with swelling, etc. Yes, she shouldn't have done it, but this all seems like a wee bit of over-reaction. It wouldn't have made me feel keen to share things with my parents as a teenager, anyway.
(But, I'm also the person who let someone pierce the top cartilage of my ear in a bar, with vodka, a needle and an ice cube, when I was backpacking.....)

Do a 180 on your perspective on this: You’ve got a daughter who has enough bravery to work around the restrictions on her to get what she wants - even if it involves her own short term discomfort.

So tell her off and confiscate things to teach a lesson, but inside be proud.

Eh? What a random set of proper punishments for something that doesn't actually harm anyone. Why are you so furious about it?

... oh, and actually, I've just remembered the short-lived, slightly wonky, eyebrow piercing when I was 17.

At least you can take piercings out, and let them heal up, if you don't want them any more. The same can't be said for a neck tattoo, obviously. ;)

You haven't said what your issue is. It's not as if she didn't have piercings already. Now she's never going to show you her tattoo!!

I think you’ve overreacted. It wasn’t great decision making but it’s not the end of the world.

I have a feeling a lot of us did this as teens😂 don’t be that hard on her! That’s a rather large list of punishments

Back in the 80s it was the norm to pierce ears in the school loos and I was at a bloody convent 😅

Why were you angry? In the scheme of things piercing your own ears really isn't a big deal, several of my friends did it as teenagers.

Being 13 is really hard, I think you should apologise for going over the top with your raft of punishments and give her a hug. Don't drive her away with overreactions, I had to learn this too.

That's an overkill reaction and punishment. If thats your reaction to self pierced ears, how is she going to approach you with something really serious? This is not a hill you want to die on. Pick your battles.

My 16 yr old daughter came home with her nose pierced by her friend. I definately was not happy and made it known to her but told her my concerns were about an infection and cross contamination. I definately didn't blow my top but made her promise not to do something like this again unless with a professional. In a few years time she'll be able to go into shops and do this herself. My job is to ensure her safety and to help navigate her way through life.

Loads of kids do this.

remember when kids did
their own tattoos with a compass and ink cartridge?

😅

She is a rock star and will go far! What a legend. Shades of Debbie Harry.