To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

I know. I understand. It’s really sad that they haven’t been taught that it’s not acceptable to make a judgement about anyone just from visible appearance and to accept the persons answer. I am loathed to make suggestions for your kids because it’s not them that need to change their answer. It’s the kids that are asking need to be taught to not push it.

Has the op said it’s due to what they wear?

I think it’s a terrible idea. The majority faith in Palestine is Islam. It’ll take about eight seconds for the kids to work out that she’s not Muslim and then she’ll have a whole other bunch of problems to deal with.

Same

Im off.mixed jewish and irish heritage but to the knowing eye i look very jewish. I now say Romanian decent to avoid the agro and debates i was getting from customers. My family are actually against some settlement issues and i was actually raised catholic but after a customer called me a jewish pig and egged my car i decided to stop reasoning or admitting my heritage

We often are identified by our noses,bottom.lips, curly hair, slight nasal tone to voice, some olive skin tone and a lot of us use our hands a lot when talking.
Even if dressed western some people can tell

This is ridiculous why are you describing Fran Drescher? This is stereotyping to the max.

Are you trying to say this is how all Jewish people look?

That is so depressing to hear. I am so sorry. I’m angry on your kids behalf. It’s not up to them to change. But I guess they could learn to do stuck record. ‘I’m from Hackney’ ‘As I said, I’m from Hackney’ ‘You have already asked me that and I’ve answered you’ etc. boring monotone and then may be some ways of moving the conversation on to a new topic. They don’t need to disclose their heritage.

But as I say, the onus shouldn’t be on them to adjust - The onus should be on the school to fix this.

No how i look and quite a few jewish people. The pp asked how they were identified if not wearing orthodox clothing

OP I just wanted to come back & apologise for my earlier comment and not realising how much of an issue being Jewish is at the moment.

i have unfortunately warched that Louis Therox documentary & was disgusted about how they were speaking about Jewish people & I know a lot of young people are following these horrible ‘men’

I fully understand why you want a cover story & its absolutely abhorrent that you need to do this to protect your children

I'm so sorry you and your children are experiencing racism. I have never understood why we tar all people of any group with the same brush. What's going on in Ir/Gz / the ME has absolutely nothing to do with 2 children at secondary school in London in terms of their responsibility for what's going on. Anymore than my husband's Russian colleague is responsible for what's happening in Ukraine.

Are you asking for convincing lies you could get your child to tell e.g. Greek or Italian heritage. Or a clear way to tell enough of the truth for the racists to back off?

I'm surprised that teenagers know that. I certainly had no idea that there is such a thing as a stereotypical Polish-Jewish appearance.

In which case my advice remains the same as on the other thread. You can’t change the racism inside this particular school, so your children need to be educated elsewhere. The antisemitism your family have suffered is appalling but sadly, your priority has to be changing school immediately. Don’t wait for a place to come up at a Jewish school, as a less ‘diverse’ non Jewish school won’t have anything like the same issues for your family.

@Aislyn my father arrived on the UK in 1938 from Berlin via Hamburg where he was sent a few years earlier. His watch word was "blend and integrate".

It shouldn't be happening all over again, however.

Now, yeah.

But Poland suffered the highest number of civilian deaths (over 5 million ) in all of Europe during WW2.

I suspect a rather large number of them were Jewish

That should be a sackable offence.

Some children are dismal little freaks OP.

I suggest your DC smilingly stick to repeating ‘London’ while serenely recollecting what happened to Jew haters in 1946.

Remind them junk doesn’t win. The British, US and a few others hunted and ended them.

I'm not disbelieving her. As I said, I had no idea there is a 'clearly Jewish look'. If it's about darker skin, some Poles do have dark skin, but are not Jewish.

Depends, what is your daughter like personality-wise. Doesn't give a f and can stand up to bullies?

If not, and your child’s safety is at risk, and the schools aren't doing anything, I would have them answer London, and as follows:

When pressed about heritage/ethnicity of mother/father say, we don't know, they were adopted. For the other parent, a smorgasbord, mixed origin past relatives from all over (make up multiple places xyz) e.g. “Oh all over really: Greece, South Africa, Hungary, Scotland, Germany…I think.”. Just have her seem really vague and uninterested in the whole thing.

To those saying she's hiding who she is, she's keeping herself safe for now from a potential threat. Learning how to play/navigate the political/social game, just like the games we have to navigate at work and in everyday scenarios will serve her well in life. Survival of the fittest!

Yes and @WilfredsPiesi think it is pretty clear that it’s actually likely to be Muslim kids and teachers who are doing this from OP’s veiled comments and concerns about being deleted. Unfortunately, given world events, there is an extreme section of pro-Palestine Muslims (a minority within the U.K., but it doesn’t have to be many within a school to make life hell for one or two Jewish kids) who will be emboldened to seek out Jews and share antisemitic views in the guise of being anti Israel (you can oppose what Israel is doing without being anti semitic, but it is easier to get away with anti semitism in the current climate). Whatever anyone might think of the current situation in Palestine, that doesn’t give people the right to try to sniff out the Jewish kids and bully them.

I’m quite shocked by the comments about looking Jewish. Jews come in all shapes sizes and colours. To suggest all Jews have dark curly hair big noses and olive skin is so offensive. Those people saying that they’re not identifiable if they’re in western clothing WTF. People are not getting stopped randomly walking down the street being called Jews in random streets across the country. Of course orthodox Jewish people wearing kippot or ultra orthodox are identifiable but no, we are not all walking around with dark skin, big frizzy hair funny voices and weird bottom lips

Never in my life, have I ever been identified as Jewish walking down the street. My kids Jewish friends range from pale skin, blue eyes and blond hair to pale skin redheads, mousy pollen straight hair through to mixed race and black with everything in between

Nearly all U.K. Jews have been here since from the late 19th century bar those who came as refugees around WW2.

I’m 4th gen, born in the 70’s, my kids are 5th gen British. I know my great grandparents came from Russia and Poland. I haven’t a clue where in those countries and I have absolutely no connection, allegiance or interest in those countries at all. I don’t think my kids could give an answer any more specific than, dunno somewhere not in England as an answer to where our family originated from and I imagine that most people, unless their families came recently are the same.

There isn’t

I think that it’s taught as part of History WW2 lessons where they learn about how Hitler identified who was Jewish & should be given a yellow star.

I’m appalled by the whole situation you & your children are in. Lots of people don’t understand why Jewish people need a homeland. People hundreds of miles from Gaza are being blamed for Israel’s war. I’m sorry your children have to go through this.

I remember being in Berlin & being told that the Jewish places need 24/7 police protection (this was about 10 years ago so way before Gaza). So schools, synagogues & other Jewish places need constant protection from attack. I can only imagine this has increased.

Now who's the racist?

Of course it’s acceptable as an answer. Can you tell us where the children were born. It might help us to understand.