To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

This thread makes me so sad. No one should experience this or feel they have to lie to be safe. Nevertheless, I understand your predicament. I’m going to make some guesses that may be wrong and assume their appearance, while typical of their ancestry, might also be typical in the eastern Mediterranean. Depending on your preference, you could then choose a country you have no connection to as a cover story: Lebanon, Cyprus, even Malta. Somewhere with Sephardic or ancient Jewish communities perhaps.

I know there are different branches of Jewish heritage - if you are Ashkenazi, you can easily pass for Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, etc.

I don't know what to say, its awful. I am not technically Jewish as my paternal grandfather was my only relative who was Jewish and I never even met him but I have never denied my Jewish heritage and if people ask me "are you Jewish" I explain my connection and hopefully my solidarity with Jewish people.

In the past few years I have lost very close friends just because of my Jewish heritage as if I am some kind of monster. I have head that for children and young people its become intolerable and its so, so sad and makes me so angry. I have no answers only sympathy and sadness.

Rather than a specific cover story, could they just say something vague like, oh, we're not sure really. And by the way I'm so sorry you're feeling like you need a cover story at all.

I get you (and many others here). We are a part-Jewish family and although not religious, we have always celebrated Jewish (and Christian) holidays. We make a point to have a nice Friday night dinner, often with challah. My nearly 7-yo came home a few weeks ago telling me that they'd talked about heritage in class and he'd told his teacher and class that he was Jewish. My first thought was fright. It's horrible, but it doesn't feel safe to be Jewish. How do you explain to your child that you should celebrate your culture but just not talk about it too openly?

Could you say somewhere like a grandparent is from Spain or Greece? Olive skin and larger noses are not unusual in either place.

This is the comment from peers, not mine

Is this a joke? The part about large noses?

Could you not have made your point without resorting to physical profiling ?

I like this approach. There are lots of Scots and Cornish who say they have a touch of the Spanish Armada.

Your point 1 does chime in with my experience of schools in London despite what I said up thread - there are ways and ways of asking the question of course.

They do all talk about where they’re “from” but there’s a way of asking the question that would make any of them realise the person didn’t mean well, if that makes sense.

It’s horrendous that those things were said to your son.

OP, I'm so sorry your children have to face this, and that you had to spend half the thread explaining the prejudice you're subjected too for supposedly incredulous posters.

But in my experience many young people in London do like discussing their heritage and finding out where each other are from. They often will identify strongly with their ethnicity. I assume in the school OP is talking about, the people are not all necessarily White British for multiple generations. And that is why it is difficult to just say ‘London’ if other people are all talking about being Bangladeshi or Nigerian even if they and their parents were born in the UK.

I couldn’t agree more.

No it doesn't. Polish are traditionally Catholic. Not Jewish.
According to the 2021 census, 71.3% of all Polish citizens adhere to the Catholic Church

It was discussed earlier in the thread where pp were trying to find out why saying London wasn't good enough. I still have no idea what physical attribute is considered too Jewish to be a londoner. Unless it is clothing.

My own DF had a nose bigger than concorde but he was never thought to be Jewish.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · Today 17:43
Givenup2026 · Today 17:25
Normally, big nose, curly hair (tends to be darker) , and sometimes olive skin.
However, within my congregation they do come in all colours of the rainbow. My BFF is a redhead with blue eyes. There’s a couple with olive skin and straight dark hair.
Show quote history
Jeepers I've curly hair and a massive nose and im as Irish as a potato. I thought these were smear tropes to use against Jewish people no?

Thank you. I can only hope that posters are naive as to what the experiences are of Jews in the UK currently, rather than posting with malicious intent. This is the reality of the experience of Jewish children in the UK at present.

Once again, it is in conjunction with their appearance. Yes, Poland is mainly Catholic at present, but it had a very large Jewish community until the second world war.

Your poor kids. Can you mix it up a bit, so ‘My mums family came from Spain & my Dad’s family is Greek but they were both born in London. No, I don’t think they speak much Spanish or Greek, and they never taught me any. All our family live in England now anyway.’

Who looks " British "?

Im British , as a female with hair so dark ( in my youth) it could be seen as black, eyes so blue and I tan well

A sister, as blonde as they come and has to avoid the sun

My Neice and Nephew - olive skinned, brown eyes and one wears a hajib

My husband with his red tinged hair

ALL born in Britain so therefore British

What does "British" look like cos Id be dammed if know

I can only assume that there is either a large Polish intake at your DC school who would know this history, or its from people of other ME heritages. White British 'left wing' kids are unlikely to have the first clue as to the Polish link to Judaism, unless school history lessons are amazing these days! Either way, those are really hard issues to tackle and either you take it to the Local Authority that your school comes under, the press, or move your DC to a different school. In fact at this point, with no action from the school, I'd be moving them even if it meant we had to move house.

It’s the same poster.

There is a lot of comments of 'go back to Poland' on social media regarding Jews, so it is common knowledge. I don't think I can talk about the make up of the pupil population without getting into trouble with MNHQ, but it is suffice to say that they are not welcoming to Jews.

I dated a non-Jewish polish man who was very olive skinned with dark curly hair and I’ve met other polish people with similar complexions. I would just say Polish especially if that is the truth? I’m really sorry you feel you have to hide your background. One of my brother’s best friends at school was Jewish but he didn’t tell anyone until he left at 18, his mum wouldn’t let him. This was back in the 90s and noughties in Warwickshire

If they have a London accent the answer is London. Presumably they’re 3rd / 4th gen I’m amazed they even register that they have an Eastern European background. Most Ashkenazi Jews look pretty General European. I’m sorry but if it’s that much of an issue get on the lists for the Jewish schools, there’s always plenty of movement and a place will come up at the big 3 even if it means a bit of travelling