To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

I will say though that my kids don’t look traditionally Scottish but their schools are filled with Scottish kids who look all sorts of ways as we are in a city of immigrants. Might be different in a small town or similar where they’d stick out physically.

But this is what happened to my friends children. Being of polish ancestry and having looks that were typical Eastern European Jewish signalled the anti semites. They have been bullied for years. The police have been been involved

Hi OP!

Greetings from a fellow Jewish mum. My DD (15) is stereotypically Jewish, however we’ve never had a problem with antisemitism (apart from someone one saying something awful to her). We’re Syrian Jews, but the old country is so many generations ago, that there’s next to no attachment to the “motherland”.

Why are they saying they’re from Eastern Europe?

why can’t the move schools?

Aren't they British? Born here, parents born here? Grandparents or Great grandparents coming from other countries is not relevant. And if the school don't understand that "No, where are you really from?" is racist, then you could and should take it higher: governors, MP, Ofsted, LA, that kind of thing. It's totally unacceptable in 2026, schools do assemblies about this all the time.
Meanwhile, your children can say they are British, or you could give them a country to name if you feel it will help.

It is though. I know a whole host of people of all ethnicities who were born in London and when asked “where are you from?” they would only answer London.

That's shocking. How very distressing for you. I've been aware of the increase in antisemitism, and the bullying of children at school is just awful , but not surprising. Please raise this with the HT. The school are duty bound to protect your daughter and punish the racists.

This is NOT the way to manage the situation. Like AT ALL.

DH has a complicated mixed heritage that he CBA to explain to everyone so when he's asked where he's from he says 'I grew up in Scotland' which keeps most adults happy. Just because some shitty little racist wants to be rude doesn't mean 'I live in X town and went to Y primary school' isn't an acceptable answer.

Define what British looks like though. London is a fine answer.

I don't think a cover story is going to prevent racist bullies from making a decision on a person's worth based on their race. If they want to victimise a person for being a Polish Jew, for example, why not victimise them simply for being Polish?

Working on your DCs self confidence would be a better way to protect them.

It’s easy for you to say when you’re not about to be bullied for your religion

@SpanThatWorld just because you are unable to understand that Jewish people can be immediate identifiable doesn’t make it untrue just makes you a fool.

I live in an area of Jewish people and even non secular Jews are identifiable.

I am so sorry your children are being horrendously bullied I don’t have a cover story but I would recommend you contact CST about the bullying and anti semitism.

I live in Barnet so have lots of friends with Jewish children. I am not for one second denying the existence of anti-semitism but I am surprised when "Poland" leads to antisemitism rather than "Didn't you go back after Brexit?" or a asnarky comment about dodgy plumbers

I’m Jewish and find the whole thing bizarre to say the least.

You don’t stop being bullied for your religion by giving them something else to bully you about, like ridiculous lies about where you are from.
The bullying needs to be addressed through the school’s SLT and DSL, not by teaching your child to lie.

Dont look british ?? Bizarre....
In london Briitish covers all shades and more

My family are from xxx country [ eg kosovo] just like [famous singer/actor eg dua lipa ]

Kids like to talk about their heritage though, especially in multicultural areas. It’s a big part of their life. You know that A has polish parents, B Russian, C Iranian etc…. And it’s open.

it may just make OPs child like obstinate and different. And she says “I’m from London London London alll London” then yes, that’s the sort of cover story OP is looking for as it’s not the whole truth

I’m incredulous. I realise how lucky I was that my two Jewish kids never had any of this shit. I would love to know which area/school.

That's not really the point here is it? Why on earth should kids have to lie?

I'm not going to rise to the rudeness.

Yes, I'm well aware of what people look like. But Jews can be Eastern European, Mediterranean or Ethiopian looking. Several of my friends' kids joke about having a Jewfro.

My point was that I didnt see how saying "Poland" was making children identifiably Jewish.

It is really sad to hear that you are resorting to hiding your heritage. I would be concerned that this in itself could cause issues for your children, to be ashamed of it?

Have you contacted the CST https://cst.org.uk/ ? They can help you with the school.

Nothing about my comment is asking them to lie! I said why not name the country they are from (if they were born abroad as that is not clear from OPs comments) or the village/suburb etc where they live now? None of that is lying that is telling the truth. "Eastern European countries" is unnecessarily vague.

I think there is a difference between the (stereotypical) look of stereotypical polish catholics and stereotypical polish jews, and OP has clearly said that her children look stereotypically Easter European Jew. I don’t see the point arguing with her, she knows what her children look like not us

This exactly. Thank you for explaining so clearly.

Neither do half of the kids in London!

DH is of completely mysterious ethnic heritage (maternal DGM could have been gypsy or Jewish or maybe just poor, her background was definitely seen as undesirable in the 1930s but is a total mystery beyond that; paternal DGF was illegitimate and his father was rumoured to Italian but that could be a load of rubbish).

DH is still definitely from London, and while people have mistaken him for mixed race, Indian and all kinds of random things over the years, he just says no, I’m English.