Page 8 | 4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

BunnyLake · 15/03/2026 18:12

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 13:28

No not this year, usually they do bring something home.

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Why are you running around after them while they sit and watch a movie? That is so odd to me.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 15/03/2026 18:21

CousinBette · 15/03/2026 17:41

Are you going to mention it to your daughters then?

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I certainly will be.

I intend to bring it up the next time I Facetime them. I have no issue addressing it with them although I know they will both feel incredibly bad to think they made me feel this way. But unless I communicate, then how else will they know how I have felt today.

MiniCoopers · 15/03/2026 18:27

Come on, they are young, though the 13 year old should know better. What had your DH said? It’s on him at this point

Calliopespa · 15/03/2026 18:31

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 15/03/2026 15:18

I have to say I feel a little like you this year.

I have two adult DD's. Neither of them live at home. I have had Facetime calls this morning individually from each and both of them said 'Happy Mothers Day' first before we continued with our chats.

However I have had no cards, no flowers, and no gifts.

My DH hasn't mentioned anything about it so its just a normal day here and I have just been sat here, thinking about my own Mum, who passed away suddenly a couple of years ago, and how much I loved Mothers Day because it was my chance to spoil her a little, to say thank you for everything she does for me, and to show her how special she is.

I also went on Facebook and saw a post from friends of ours gushing about his wife and thanking her for being an outstanding mother to their children. My family have never been 'facebook gushers' and neither have I, we just don't do that kind of thing. However I found myself feeling a little sad and unappreciated today although I know its silly. I know my girls love me, and I know my DH loves and appreciates me. I guess its just nice to be told sometimes and to be made to feel it.

I have just been on Amazon and ordered myself some pink prosecco and chocolates to arrive tomorrow.

Happy Mothers Day OP and to all other mothers feeling a little underwhelmed today.

I don't get why people do a SM Gush.

It's so utterly lame.

If you are celebrating in your family, celebrate. If you are appreciating the effort, appreciate. That can all be done amongst the people who need to know about it without even turning on a device.

The one and only point of gushing online is to make yourself feel good and possibly other people, like @ErlingHaalandsManBun feel bad, and as such, it is hard not to feel the latter is actually what makes you feel good in doing it. It's ultimately a pretty nasty, self-absorbed behaviour. I think it's time we started calling SM out for what it really is, instead of this disingenuous "Just knew you'd all want to know ..." cover for what is, essentially, boasting

Calliopespa · 15/03/2026 18:36

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 13:27

This made me laugh as I looked out the window at the pouring rain and pictured myself on a park bench eating a soggy sandwich to cheer myself up but I know what you mean.

I did see some nice cushions yesterday while I was out which I liked but they were a bit pricey so I might just treat myself and buy them as they are lovely.

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If nothing has materialised yet in the shape of an acknowledgement, PLEASE do this OP.

I have found a new habit of telling myself "well done" under my breath for things i know were a struggle for some reason or other that no-one else would have clocked or appreciated. It's nice having myself as a cheerleader!

SauvignonBlanche · 15/03/2026 18:51

Hope OP is busy enjoying a lovely meal out.

youalright · 15/03/2026 19:00

Have you said anything yet op or are you still moping about

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/03/2026 19:15

Don't make your kids feel bad...or ruin the day and get a guilty last minute thing.

Make a Joke out of it.

"I'm not getting you drinks and lunch because Dad is treating all of us to a Mother's Day Lunch. "
"I will accept a hug in lieu of a card my lovelies,"

"You do all realise that I'm in charge of Easter Eggs... so its in your interests to be NICE to me!"

Finally Remind your DH that it is his JOB to remind, fund and facilitate getting you a little something - a nice breakfast or cup of tea in bed, some flowers and a cake - just as you do for him on Fathers Day.. and use Father's Day to hammer home the example.

It sounds like you are running around after them, whilst they all watch the film. Stop doing that.. make them take turns - especially DH!!!

CousinBette · 15/03/2026 19:22

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 15/03/2026 18:21

I certainly will be.

I intend to bring it up the next time I Facetime them. I have no issue addressing it with them although I know they will both feel incredibly bad to think they made me feel this way. But unless I communicate, then how else will they know how I have felt today.

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Good. This happened to me with one of mine once and I know if I hadn’t said anything they would simply have assumed I just didn’t care and nothing would have changed.

SomethingUpAbove · 15/03/2026 19:26

Why didn’t you say something? Tell them you expect them to do something.

Gordonaire · 15/03/2026 19:28

The males are setting the tone here- your dh and your 13 year old. You need to cash this and change it so this doesn’t happen in future

Fascinate · 15/03/2026 19:36

I admit to not reading the whole thread.

However, I really don't want to feel shit on Mother's Day/ my birthday/xmas so even though my kids are now late 20s, I always drop them a "mothers day is xyz date and I'd really like ..." text

This year I asked for an afternoon tea by post (they both live away from home) , as I had done this with my mum before she passed, and it was a lovely memory as well as something for me. Arrived yesterday, and was lovely.

Tbh they tend to get in before me these days, but I think that's partly because I have always insisted they remember not just for me but also their grandmothers, so they've learned that it's important

CocoLomax · 15/03/2026 20:10

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Do you think your own parenting needs a bit of an overhaul, OP? It sounds like you’ve raised ingrates.

Original poster

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 22:30

Well my son went out after lunch and returned home with a card and a bar of chocolate which I was so pleased with.
Dh looked awkward and said ‘oh crap was that this week?

Ds then asked his sisters what they had bought and they said they thought Dad would have bought something so Dh apologised saying he didn’t realise it was today, he then asked me if I was upset or mad at him which I thought was strange, I said I was a bit disappointed and he said ‘do you want me to go out and get you something quick? So I reminded him it was Sunday and he said well do you want something from the co-op?
I joked we could do with some bananas and he said ‘what about a bottle of wine to cheer you up and suddenly I thought of @trufflerufflesuggestion of sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich in the pouring rain except this time I pictured me sat there with a bottle of wine and decided actually I’m ok.

I did go out and buy the cushions though.

OP posts:

dapsnotplimsolls · 15/03/2026 22:36

Glad you got the cushions. Don't do a damn thing for Fathers' Day.

truffleruffle · 16/03/2026 00:11

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 22:30

Well my son went out after lunch and returned home with a card and a bar of chocolate which I was so pleased with.
Dh looked awkward and said ‘oh crap was that this week?

Ds then asked his sisters what they had bought and they said they thought Dad would have bought something so Dh apologised saying he didn’t realise it was today, he then asked me if I was upset or mad at him which I thought was strange, I said I was a bit disappointed and he said ‘do you want me to go out and get you something quick? So I reminded him it was Sunday and he said well do you want something from the co-op?
I joked we could do with some bananas and he said ‘what about a bottle of wine to cheer you up and suddenly I thought of @trufflerufflesuggestion of sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich in the pouring rain except this time I pictured me sat there with a bottle of wine and decided actually I’m ok.

I did go out and buy the cushions though.

I’m loving that. All’s well that ends well. You are definitely loved. X

CocoaTea · 16/03/2026 04:05

I am glad you got the cushions
@bytheway9 . 💐

I hope your DH makes it up to you in some way because that was quite the fumble.

Betterbelieveit · 16/03/2026 14:52

KidsDoBetter · 15/03/2026 12:56

rather than get into it in the heat of the moment - I waited til the following March. And sent this a few years back. It worked.

Whilst I have your attention….

It is the first of March.
In March every year is Mother’s Day. In Jan every year is my birthday.

Now that you are all 16 & over (can marry, join army etc! 😀) I want to lay out what I think are reasonable expectations on these 2 days.

I would like cards from you collectively or individually to arrive on or before said day from wherever you are in the world. Moonpig is your friend in this. Your phone and diarised advance reminders will also help you.

Anything else is above & beyond & thoughtfulness is what is of value not cost - but it is the thought and planning - as I do for your birthdays, Xmas and so on - that I think is a minimum requirement. Ideally again that should be given on the day in question. Sometimes of course things happen beyond our control but in general that’s something to aim for.

I think you all know the dimmunition in emotional value of something is handed over weeks later.

It should also be something you bring into your future significant relationships.

Last Mother’s Day I did not receive a card from one of you and it really really upset me. It’s not how you were raised. You all have of course given me many thoughtful beautiful cards and gifts loads of times over the years but last Mother’s Day was a bit of a low.
Lots & lots of love, Mum xxx

Brilliant!! 😁

RubySeal · 16/03/2026 18:09

No Thanks Thumbs Down GIF by StickerGiant

Horrible comment.

RubySeal · 16/03/2026 18:10

OneTealTurtle · 15/03/2026 11:55

Instead of feeling resentful and sorry for yourself I would make changes to make your children more appreciative and grateful, and your husband more considerate.

They should be excited to do something for you for Mother’s Day.

Horrible comment

waitingforthehallmarkedman · 16/03/2026 18:15

Glad you are pleased with the minimum crumbs you ended up with. And you'll probably still knock yourself out on father's day.

tenderbee · 16/03/2026 18:17

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 11:52

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

I want to assume they had a surprise up their sleeves as I saw the post was made before noon yesterday.

igelkott2026 · 16/03/2026 18:19

OneTealTurtle · 15/03/2026 11:55

Instead of feeling resentful and sorry for yourself I would make changes to make your children more appreciative and grateful, and your husband more considerate.

They should be excited to do something for you for Mother’s Day.

Genuine question but why? It's a made-up day that means nothing.

I'd be annoyed if my son ignored my birthday but Mother's Day - meh.

tenderbee · 16/03/2026 18:22

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 22:30

Well my son went out after lunch and returned home with a card and a bar of chocolate which I was so pleased with.
Dh looked awkward and said ‘oh crap was that this week?

Ds then asked his sisters what they had bought and they said they thought Dad would have bought something so Dh apologised saying he didn’t realise it was today, he then asked me if I was upset or mad at him which I thought was strange, I said I was a bit disappointed and he said ‘do you want me to go out and get you something quick? So I reminded him it was Sunday and he said well do you want something from the co-op?
I joked we could do with some bananas and he said ‘what about a bottle of wine to cheer you up and suddenly I thought of @trufflerufflesuggestion of sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich in the pouring rain except this time I pictured me sat there with a bottle of wine and decided actually I’m ok.

I did go out and buy the cushions though.

Oh, so they forgot after all. Too bad.
Belated happy mother's day dear OP

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 16/03/2026 18:28

igelkott2026 · 16/03/2026 18:19

Genuine question but why? It's a made-up day that means nothing.

I'd be annoyed if my son ignored my birthday but Mother's Day - meh.

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In what way is it a made up day?
Just because you’re not bothered about it doesn’t mean others shouldn’t be.