Page 7 | 4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

dairydebris · 15/03/2026 16:07

Thistooshallpass. · 15/03/2026 15:19

You have to tell people how you feel . Go in there tell them you are hurt and upset that no one has acknowledged Mother’s Day and say you are disappointed after all you do for them . Your children and husband need to hear this and know it’s not ok to be selfish and take people for granted and that they should appreciate and acknowledge what they have .
Then go out buy your cushions and whatever you fancy . It doesn’t make up for the hurt but don’t just carry on in silence secretly brooding .

Yes this.

Don't by shy OP. I see it as part of my job helping them grow up into considerate human beings- I insist they make an effort. For me that was to help me plant a rose and write a thoughtful note. You know what you'd want. Tell them, and insist they do it. And keep on insisting until they get it themselves.

And help them make an effort for Father's day too. Its a terrible lesson to go tit for tat on laziness.

SteveandLeanne · 15/03/2026 16:08

PrismRain · 15/03/2026 15:53

This is the problem with the extreme child-centred parenting we see nowadays…we teach them the world revolves around them and no one else matters including their own parents, who do literally everything for them. Then we get upset when they show a complete inability to consider and appreciate other people.

Exactly this.

NormasArse · 15/03/2026 16:10

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Tell them to get their own food!!

Boomer55 · 15/03/2026 16:13

sunsetsites · 15/03/2026 12:30

God, why do women feel the need for this level of martyrdom?!
No one’s making you run around like a slave for them!

Show quote history

This. Other than the 5 year old, the others could have done something. But, other than that, enjoy your day and stop running round after them.

MyLimeGuide · 15/03/2026 16:16

Applecup · 15/03/2026 14:51

Seriously?? Must be a man. You know nothing of the OP's situation or life. What a horrible comment.

Show quote history

I agree, so unnecessary, and then a post about how perfect her family are! 🤑

Summercocktailsgalore · 15/03/2026 16:16

make sure you put the same amount of effort into Father’s Day.

vickylou78 · 15/03/2026 16:20

Take yourself off to the cinema or something and leave them to it. I'd be so upset and cross

SteveandLeanne · 15/03/2026 16:28

MyLimeGuide · 15/03/2026 16:16

I agree, so unnecessary, and then a post about how perfect her family are! 🤑

Show quote history

Agreed but I do think it is true that children tend to treat other people how they have been taught to treat other people. If they have been spoilt and brought up to think the world revolves around them then why would they consider other people? Obviously, there is a balance as it isn’t good to treat children that they don’t count at all either.

Mary46 · 15/03/2026 16:32

God thats awful. Cards in shops from feb no excuse. Hope you ok op. Match their efforts going forward

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/03/2026 16:33

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Why are you allowing this?

Surely you say, DH, today is Mother’s Day so I’d appreciate you doing xyz whilst I watch a film with the children/ go for a walk/ whatever?

He also should have got them organised to get a card etc

I am running about a bit doing things this pm but I had a lovely walk with my eldest (17) and a film yesterday whilst my youngest (12) was at Scout camp. So I’ve sort of chosen to be doing the washing etc today. Had some lovely flowers from DD17 as well, and she’s done some gardening for me.

Now she’s doing her homework and DS12 is recovering from camp having done his on Friday evening in preparation for being tired today.

I’m a single parent to said teens though so have sort of chosen for this to be an afternoon with chores and yesterday not to be.

This evening’s dinner will be courtesy of Cook! Because I work full time in a stressful job and both deserve and can afford it!

Nonamenoplacetogo · 15/03/2026 16:36

Don’t be a martyr. I’m a single parent to four, their father is dead. 1 at uni sent a card after forgetting last year, that’s the last time she’ll do that. Booked lunch out for me and youngest, cards and gifts before the eldest went to work and now youngest is cooking something in kitchen. I’ve had tea brought to me. This took time and effort of having very clear expectations that I deserve to be spoilt at some points in the year. Go out and leave them to it, I did this a few years ago when somebody could be bothered to get up and make me a cup of tea or organise dinner. I left for the day and they didn’t do it again.

CocoaTea · 15/03/2026 16:36

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 13:09

I haven’t said anything, I know they know it’s Mother’s Day, they watched me buy and post my own mums gift.

It’s not the same, Mother’s Day to me is a chance to say thank you to my mum for everything she does, I don’t want to ask for that as I am not entitled to anything but as a mum of 4 I thought just one of them might have given me a thought as usually I get a card or something but I will get over it.
I put so much effort into making things special for everyone else for birthdays and Christmas and Father’s Day but it’s only because I usually do it all.

Show quote history

I understand your disappointment but why have you not actually SAID anything to them all?

Especially your DH?

I would speak to my DH by about 1pm
if I’d not seen any “actions”.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/03/2026 16:36

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:24

Eldest is a boy but the others are girls.

Show quote history

Boys are equally as capable of remembering as girls!

I don’t really require either of mine to do anything but I have had very thoughtful presents from DS for other occasions such as a book on my favourite subject etc He got a bit of a pass because of being at camp because frankly having the time with just dd was lovely - but I didn’t send him to camp, he chose to go!

fetchacloth · 15/03/2026 16:40

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

With that attitude, DH would be left to fix lunch and drinks for the family as punishment for not marking Mothers Day. Honestly I wouldn't stand for this.
💐

ItsNotMeItsMostDefinitelyYou · 15/03/2026 16:40

Mary46 · 15/03/2026 16:32

God thats awful. Cards in shops from feb no excuse. Hope you ok op. Match their efforts going forward

I never understand that attitude. It’s much better to have an honest conversation about expectations so that you get what you want and are happy. Not bothering with Father’s Day or whatever doesn’t solve the issue or make anyone happy. What a miserable way to live, game playing, not communicating, not having your needs and wants met by those closest to you.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 15/03/2026 16:42

Anywherebuthere · 15/03/2026 15:10

Because its so important to her. And obviously not to him.

So she should be vocal and active about getting things set up for herself. Instead of relying on someone else.

Show quote history

Or maybe her husband should step up to organise something that is important to his wife. Why does he get to opt out of being a good husband and dad?

Notasbigasithink · 15/03/2026 16:49

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 11:52

Just feeling a bit unappreciated about that.
Usually I get a card or some flowers which dh would have bought with them and always make the effort for Father’s Day but this year nothing.
I thought one of them might have uttered the words Happy Mother’s Day.

It's the dad that needs a kick up the arse here! Unfortunately most children are quite self centered when in their teens to be thoughtful enough to remember mothers day and need a kick up the arse from dad.
The younger ones still need reminding to do most basic daily tasks so would definitely need help with making an effort on mothers day.
Now dad on the other hand.....

ClairDeLaLune · 15/03/2026 17:23

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

Stop being a martyr and tell them

Dawnintheageofaquariams · 15/03/2026 17:33

OneTealTurtle · 15/03/2026 11:55

Instead of feeling resentful and sorry for yourself I would make changes to make your children more appreciative and grateful, and your husband more considerate.

They should be excited to do something for you for Mother’s Day.

Fuck that, get rid.

BunnyLake · 15/03/2026 17:34

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/03/2026 16:33

Why are you allowing this?

Surely you say, DH, today is Mother’s Day so I’d appreciate you doing xyz whilst I watch a film with the children/ go for a walk/ whatever?

He also should have got them organised to get a card etc

I am running about a bit doing things this pm but I had a lovely walk with my eldest (17) and a film yesterday whilst my youngest (12) was at Scout camp. So I’ve sort of chosen to be doing the washing etc today. Had some lovely flowers from DD17 as well, and she’s done some gardening for me.

Now she’s doing her homework and DS12 is recovering from camp having done his on Friday evening in preparation for being tired today.

I’m a single parent to said teens though so have sort of chosen for this to be an afternoon with chores and yesterday not to be.

This evening’s dinner will be courtesy of Cook! Because I work full time in a stressful job and both deserve and can afford it!

Show quote history

Not on topic but I get my first Cook delivery next week.

BunnyLake · 15/03/2026 17:36

Dawnintheageofaquariams · 15/03/2026 17:33

Fuck that, get rid.

Show quote history

You can’t get rid of your kids but you can teach them to be thoughtful and you can certainly not be a martyr.

CousinBette · 15/03/2026 17:41

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 15/03/2026 15:18

I have to say I feel a little like you this year.

I have two adult DD's. Neither of them live at home. I have had Facetime calls this morning individually from each and both of them said 'Happy Mothers Day' first before we continued with our chats.

However I have had no cards, no flowers, and no gifts.

My DH hasn't mentioned anything about it so its just a normal day here and I have just been sat here, thinking about my own Mum, who passed away suddenly a couple of years ago, and how much I loved Mothers Day because it was my chance to spoil her a little, to say thank you for everything she does for me, and to show her how special she is.

I also went on Facebook and saw a post from friends of ours gushing about his wife and thanking her for being an outstanding mother to their children. My family have never been 'facebook gushers' and neither have I, we just don't do that kind of thing. However I found myself feeling a little sad and unappreciated today although I know its silly. I know my girls love me, and I know my DH loves and appreciates me. I guess its just nice to be told sometimes and to be made to feel it.

I have just been on Amazon and ordered myself some pink prosecco and chocolates to arrive tomorrow.

Happy Mothers Day OP and to all other mothers feeling a little underwhelmed today.

Are you going to mention it to your daughters then?

OneNewLeader · 15/03/2026 17:55

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

’Call out to me’, perhaps this is why they don’t appreciate you, because you don’t value yourself.

PineConeOrDogPoo · 15/03/2026 17:59

KidsDoBetter · 15/03/2026 12:56

rather than get into it in the heat of the moment - I waited til the following March. And sent this a few years back. It worked.

Whilst I have your attention….

It is the first of March.
In March every year is Mother’s Day. In Jan every year is my birthday.

Now that you are all 16 & over (can marry, join army etc! 😀) I want to lay out what I think are reasonable expectations on these 2 days.

I would like cards from you collectively or individually to arrive on or before said day from wherever you are in the world. Moonpig is your friend in this. Your phone and diarised advance reminders will also help you.

Anything else is above & beyond & thoughtfulness is what is of value not cost - but it is the thought and planning - as I do for your birthdays, Xmas and so on - that I think is a minimum requirement. Ideally again that should be given on the day in question. Sometimes of course things happen beyond our control but in general that’s something to aim for.

I think you all know the dimmunition in emotional value of something is handed over weeks later.

It should also be something you bring into your future significant relationships.

Last Mother’s Day I did not receive a card from one of you and it really really upset me. It’s not how you were raised. You all have of course given me many thoughtful beautiful cards and gifts loads of times over the years but last Mother’s Day was a bit of a low.
Lots & lots of love, Mum xxx

This a great message

SnoopyPajamas · 15/03/2026 18:04

bytheway9 · 15/03/2026 12:20

The 10 year old has even written it on her calendar and mentioned yesterday to me that it was going to be Mother’s Day so it’s not that nobody remembered.
They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I
run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in.
A home made card from one would have been nice but just the words or some acknowledgement would have been nice instead of just no mention as it’s just another day.

They're old enough that you don't need to be doing this, OP. You're martyring yourself.

Stop it.