Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - Mother’s Day for ‘women who have chosen not to be mothers’

275 replies

Hedgehoggin · 15/03/2026 09:31

Scrolling through Instagram this morning and I’ve seen some Mother’s Day content - AIBU to think that ‘women who have chosen not to be mothers’ being celebrated on Mother’s Day is just bonkers?

AIBU - Mother’s Day for ‘women who have chosen not to be mothers’
OP posts:
MsVestibule · 15/03/2026 09:33

It is a bit bonkers! Perhaps they just needed another category to make 9, so the graphic would be nice and neat.

LilyBunch25 · 15/03/2026 09:33

Yes. Bonkers. I fit into the lost my mum/step mum categories as well as being a Mum. That last one seems bizarre to me.

WinterSunglasses · 15/03/2026 09:34

I find it odd they've included that but not 'those who didn't get to be a mum' ie who know it won't happen now. 'Those yearning to be a mum' doesn't really cover that for me.

SemiSober · 15/03/2026 09:36

Hedgehoggin · 15/03/2026 09:31

Scrolling through Instagram this morning and I’ve seen some Mother’s Day content - AIBU to think that ‘women who have chosen not to be mothers’ being celebrated on Mother’s Day is just bonkers?

Not really - could be because they are disabled or have a genetic syndrome which could be passed down and prevent them from having what is deemed a ‘healthy’ child

namechangeforthisdilemma · 15/03/2026 09:38

I've seen worse OP! My friend shares a version of this every year. This year's cute pastel design includes sending love to those who don't want to be mothers and those who are mother to fur babies right next to bereaved mothers and mothers of terminally ill children Hmm.

PropitiousJump · 15/03/2026 09:39

I'm not a mum, by choice, and I don't expect to be 'thought of' or 'celebrated' on mothers' day (unless my cats want to make me breakfast in bed 😂).

If they needed 9 categories, I'd have gone with 'mum figures' to cover people who are not formally a foster mum but play that role in someone's life, such as grans or aunties where the person's mum is no longer around.

Hedgehoggin · 15/03/2026 09:39

namechangeforthisdilemma · 15/03/2026 09:38

I've seen worse OP! My friend shares a version of this every year. This year's cute pastel design includes sending love to those who don't want to be mothers and those who are mother to fur babies right next to bereaved mothers and mothers of terminally ill children Hmm.

OMG - that is way worse! I never see graphics like this for Father’s Day.

OP posts:
StormyPotatoes · 15/03/2026 09:41

Hedgehoggin · 15/03/2026 09:39

OMG - that is way worse! I never see graphics like this for Father’s Day.

If it’s for women, everyone must be included even if it doesn’t apply to them. If it’s for men, they can have their own stuff.

youalright · 15/03/2026 09:42

There are certain things in this world you should just scroll past this would be one of them. I do agree with pp though choosing not to be a mum doesn't mean you didn't want to be one. Whether these women need celebrating on mother's day is a whole other question

ShutUpOverSharer · 15/03/2026 09:42

If any of the people who fit into those categories get joy from seeing it - especially in cases where for whatever reason (including reasons that you don't agree with or understand) they may have otherwise felt a pang on mother's Day - and it's not hurting you, then why be so selfish? I will never understand people having the time to get worked up over things like that....

Missj25 · 15/03/2026 09:43

MsVestibule · 15/03/2026 09:33

It is a bit bonkers! Perhaps they just needed another category to make 9, so the graphic would be nice and neat.

😂 😂

HoppityBun · 15/03/2026 09:43

The response to this depends very much on whether one has a children or not and how one feels about that.

I remember vividly the hurt that felt, nearly 40 years ago, when the church that I attended insisted that on Mothering Sunday, the small and very pretty bunches of flowers that had been made were handed to every single woman at the service, whether a mother or not.

Now, you might think that was a lovely gesture, but in fact it cut me to the core. I wasn’t a mother and my husband was adamant that he didn’t want children. It was a source of great pain to me and to be handed flowers on Mother’s Day, whilst it was something that was meant well, was deeply painful. It’s Mother’s Day, not women’s day. Though, of course, as people will point out, it’s Mothering Sunday when people traditionally returned to the mother church and servants got a half day off to go back home. None of that is relevant today.

I had to put a smile on my face and say thank you to the young child who handed me the posy.

It does hurt, and I think that this was meant well, but Mother’s Day is not the right day for them in my experience. It just makes the hurt even greater.

But, why does say “thinking of everyone…”? Because presumably that includes men, too, but the pictures only refer to women.

I wonder where men go in order to deal with their feelings about their mothers. I hope they have somewhere.

Soontobe60 · 15/03/2026 09:44

It’s like sending a birthday card to someone when it isn’t their birthday because someone somewhere does have a birthday on that day. Or a condolences card to someone even though their loved one hasn’t died, just because someone else’s loved one has.

user2848502016 · 15/03/2026 09:45

I’m getting sick of these posts honestly, it’s like you have to feel guilty somehow for being a mum and doing something nice on Mother’s Day. Like can’t “normal mums” have one day?
I think most of us are not horrible insensitive people lacking in empathy but why can’t I just have one day where I get breakfast in bed and a bunch of flowers without having to think of others?

ShutUpOverSharer · 15/03/2026 09:45

The thing about people have chosen not to be mums - it could include people with fertility issues. who very early on accepted that they wouldn't have children and didn't try to go down the route of expensive treatment. They might feel that they have ultimately chosen not to be mums, as it is more empowering than feeling as though they didn't try hard enough?

youalright · 15/03/2026 09:46

user2848502016 · 15/03/2026 09:45

I’m getting sick of these posts honestly, it’s like you have to feel guilty somehow for being a mum and doing something nice on Mother’s Day. Like can’t “normal mums” have one day?
I think most of us are not horrible insensitive people lacking in empathy but why can’t I just have one day where I get breakfast in bed and a bunch of flowers without having to think of others?

You can who said you couldn't

MouseCheese87 · 15/03/2026 09:46

SemiSober · 15/03/2026 09:36

Not really - could be because they are disabled or have a genetic syndrome which could be passed down and prevent them from having what is deemed a ‘healthy’ child

But they're still not mothers.

MyBrightPeer · 15/03/2026 09:47

Hedgehoggin · 15/03/2026 09:39

OMG - that is way worse! I never see graphics like this for Father’s Day.

I agree and it ticks me off. We can never just have a thing it seems - always have to be caveated. We don’t need to celebrate women who choose not to be mothers on Mother’s Day, it’s bonkers.

Auroraloves · 15/03/2026 09:47

Maybe it should have been Women mothering useless men 😂

Igiveyouthemoon · 15/03/2026 09:48

Soontobe60 · 15/03/2026 09:44

It’s like sending a birthday card to someone when it isn’t their birthday because someone somewhere does have a birthday on that day. Or a condolences card to someone even though their loved one hasn’t died, just because someone else’s loved one has.

Exactly - sorry but its moronic.

Not every card or holiday is going to apply to you and thats ok. I lost my mum young (in my 20s) and I dont begrudge anyone celebrating their mothers because I am aware that the world doesnt revolve around me.

MyNameIsBatty · 15/03/2026 09:48

It makes me roll my eyes but ultimately it's some shit on the Internet made for likes and sharing. I'm more irritated that people share this tosh for likes rather than from a place of love/care.

Hedgehoggin · 15/03/2026 09:48

ShutUpOverSharer · 15/03/2026 09:42

If any of the people who fit into those categories get joy from seeing it - especially in cases where for whatever reason (including reasons that you don't agree with or understand) they may have otherwise felt a pang on mother's Day - and it's not hurting you, then why be so selfish? I will never understand people having the time to get worked up over things like that....

Bit odd to feel joy on Mother’s Day for being recognised as child free by choice isn’t it? If I’m selfish for wanting Mother’s Day (one day a year) to be about, y’know, Mother’s and maternal figures then I’m at peace with that.

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 15/03/2026 09:51

namechangeforthisdilemma · 15/03/2026 09:38

I've seen worse OP! My friend shares a version of this every year. This year's cute pastel design includes sending love to those who don't want to be mothers and those who are mother to fur babies right next to bereaved mothers and mothers of terminally ill children Hmm.

This week I had an email from a cat food company stating that “being a cat mum is the hardest and best job there is” - I was furious. I do have a cat and actual human children. Owning a cat is not nearly the hardest job there is.
Have cats instead of children by all means, but don’t try and make it equal to having a child!

Missj25 · 15/03/2026 09:52

Auroraloves · 15/03/2026 09:47

Maybe it should have been Women mothering useless men 😂

Agreed 😂

Igiveyouthemoon · 15/03/2026 09:54

user2848502016 · 15/03/2026 09:51

This week I had an email from a cat food company stating that “being a cat mum is the hardest and best job there is” - I was furious. I do have a cat and actual human children. Owning a cat is not nearly the hardest job there is.
Have cats instead of children by all means, but don’t try and make it equal to having a child!

😂 my friend hasn't even seen her cat in weeks because he prefers to spend his time at her neighbour's house lying on their bed and eating their food