AIBU - Mother’s Day for ‘women who have chosen not to be mothers’

[Hedgehoggin]

Scrolling through Instagram this morning and I’ve seen some Mother’s Day content - AIBU to think that ‘women who have chosen not to be mothers’ being celebrated on Mother’s Day is just bonkers?

Lacking only TransMums: those who do not have children but identify as Mums. Transmums are Mums. Be kind!

Mother's Day is for mothers - everyone else can get their own day

Not RTFT but did the dozy fuckers not see International Women’s Day on the 8th March?

I do see the point of thinking about mothers who have lost their children though.

😂It's the only possible reason

It clearly says “thinking of them”. Not “celebrating” them. You are over-reacting totally!

Even if you have chosen not to be a mum or it hasn’t happened due to not being in right stage of life etc, it may still pang a little around Mother’s Day.

Happy Infertility Day! Let's celebrate all your pregnancy losses because you didn't manage to make it into the Mother's club!! Doesn't quite have the same ring to it. It's a very complex day for people, you could easily have some compassion.

It’s just another way of getting people to spend money on cards, IMO.

The only M-Day card that ever roused my (mild) ire was one that read, ‘If Mum’s were flowers, I’d pick you!’

Doesn’t anyone ever proofread these things?

I don't see the problem. It is just a "thinking of" thing. It is not saying to celebrate them and treat them the same an mothers.
I will also be thinking of people.... male and female, who have no mum to spoil rotten today. Especially those who have lost their mum recently.

It’s not asking you to buy a card for them though? It’s saying “thinking of them”

Like, Mother’s Day might be hard even if you chose not to be a mum. It might remind you of the fact you’re not a mum. Thinking of you not celebrating!

Can people not read?

But those posts that OP is referring to is acknowledging those people - I’d assume they’d come under the group who perhaps wanted to be a mother, but arent.
Why do you care if those people are acknowledged?

Anyone who is offended by the thought of “thinking of” people who might find Mother’s Day difficult… not celebrating! It clearly says thinking of them….. needs to get a grip.

This.

Well, the card makers are presumably hoping that people will buy them! They don’t produce these things for charity.

What about Man Mums? Surprised there isn’t a whole wall of cards dedicated to them.

Exactly. Only the smug and the ignorant would object to something that simply aims to acknowledge all mothers, as well as those who wanted to become mothers but, for one reason or another, were unable to.

I think it's valid - all women tend to end up taking on some kind of "mothering" role, whether they want to or not - such is the way our society is constructed. I can't think of a single woman I know who has not been called on to act 'maternally' at some point or other.

I see it as a day to celebrate all women personally - and God knows we need more of those!

Also, perhaps they chose not to because they realised the planet needed fewer children? Quite a selfless act, and therefore maternal in itself....

I don't begrudge them their inclusion on a meme, certainly!

There are two other groups in that picture that could apply to anyone, including men (people caring for mums, and people who have lost their mum).

OP - why ae you so focussed on the people who have chosen not to be mums being on this graphic?
Do you have a thing against childfree women per chance?

Yeah I hate these things. I do understand that mothers day can bring up things for people with negative experiences. I just wish the damn thing had never left the church and remained "mothering Sunday" where it has 0 to do with women or mothers. But no, we had to turn it commercial!

My friend grew up in an abusive household and has mental health issues as a result. She would have loved to be a parent but feels it would be utterly selfish of her as she was afraid her fragile mental health and upbringing would mean she might not be a good parent. So she would fit that category and mother's day is a difficult weekend for her grieving the family she longs for but has chosen not to have.

Oh come off it, it is not 🤣

I bet the cat comes back over the fence every day to crap in her garden though.

My work colleague chose not to be a Mum after having 5 miscarriage, no obvious medical reason but she chose not to go through that again.

Another colleague chose not to be a Mum to end the inherited life limiting disease in her family that had a 50% chance of being passed on.

Today is a hard day for them both.

And some people on here will still object to those women being acknowledged I bet!

Not in my world - in my world they can be celebrated alongside mothers, who I don't see as an automatically superior species of women.

Having a child is the most selfish thing you can do, and the most destructive for the planet. Not judging, as I've done it myself. But still worth remembering.

It's hardly a sanctifying choice. Well done on doubling your carbon footprint? Really?