Page 7 | To get DD out of a rave

TheSassyHedgehog · 2026-03-15T01:56:07+00:00

We've just realised DD (17) is probably at a rave in the middle of nowhere. We knew she was going to a party with a friend but thought it was in the city we live in. However from her last location on phone, DH and I can see she's a good 20 ish miles away, probably in woodland, no houses for miles, and there's no signal now so we don't know how she'll organise to get home, plus have all the worries about whatever's going on there. We were young once though and know she could be having the time of her life but we want to get her home as it'll be getting cold. We think DH should drive to last known location and look for her but she may well be furious. AIBU?

liveforsummer · 15/03/2026 10:04

APC303 · 15/03/2026 10:01

Techno parties in woods with dancefloors under taurpaulins in February in sideways rain turning to sleet were a highlight in early 2000's.

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I was living abroad in the early 2000’s enjoying the sun. Thank god I missed that era 🤣

StephensLass1977 · 15/03/2026 10:04

My neighbour does this to her 19 year old daughter. She has a tracker on her phone and the poor girl has to be home as soon as she finishes work. Her other daughter left home as soon as she could but this one hasn't. There's definitely a lot of bitterness there. And it starts with parents checking up and turning up where their child is.

SugarPuffSandwiches · 15/03/2026 10:14

FloofBunny · 15/03/2026 05:18

Oh my God, I am SO grateful this tech didn't exist when I was 17! It would have shown me in all manner of country lanes in the middle of nowhere at night, because I was shagging my boyfriend in his car!

I miss the 90s 😭😁 So glad there wasn't all this tracking your every move bollocks lol

Topoftherange · 15/03/2026 10:17

I do wonder if half these posters actually have teen girls or are just basing their replies on how they were at that age.

My dd is 17 and I too would be as worried as you were last nigh op. And for those who think there are no raves happening in March again have no idea what teen life is like, my dd is often invited to these things throughout the year and as we live semi-rural they occur anywhere;- in woodlands, in fields, along creeks and by the beach. Luckily for my sanity she prefers comfort and declines the invites. And I am glad she doesn't go because some of her friends have had issues during these 'raves'.

DD's best friend's parents are as liberal and 'cool' as some of the posters on this thread but they also live in complete ignorant bliss, totally unaware their naive 17 year old is currently 6 weeks pregnant by a lad they have never met but were happy to let their child out every night with him to raves, car meet ups and God knows what else. She is due an abortion and her parents will never know.

CanineJesus · 15/03/2026 10:17

Flowerlovinglady · 15/03/2026 09:20

Agreed, I am very surprised at the responses to this. I would defnitely drive out there and assess the scene.

I’m very surprised at this response to be honest.
how do you expect a 17 to develop independence? Kids like this risk turning into hopeless adults, sadly.

CanineJesus · 15/03/2026 10:18

StephensLass1977 · 15/03/2026 10:04

My neighbour does this to her 19 year old daughter. She has a tracker on her phone and the poor girl has to be home as soon as she finishes work. Her other daughter left home as soon as she could but this one hasn't. There's definitely a lot of bitterness there. And it starts with parents checking up and turning up where their child is.

That’s really awful and sad

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 10:24

StephensLass1977 · 15/03/2026 10:04

My neighbour does this to her 19 year old daughter. She has a tracker on her phone and the poor girl has to be home as soon as she finishes work. Her other daughter left home as soon as she could but this one hasn't. There's definitely a lot of bitterness there. And it starts with parents checking up and turning up where their child is.

This tracking nonsense becomes obsessional, as this shows.

Her DD will be gone very soon, just like her sister.

What a waste of a youth, rushing home from work instead of going shopping, drinks etc all impromptu!

JonesTown · 15/03/2026 10:24

This is one of the issues with constantly tracking teens. However did they and we manage for centuries without them?

liveforsummer · 15/03/2026 10:34

Topoftherange · 15/03/2026 10:17

I do wonder if half these posters actually have teen girls or are just basing their replies on how they were at that age.

My dd is 17 and I too would be as worried as you were last nigh op. And for those who think there are no raves happening in March again have no idea what teen life is like, my dd is often invited to these things throughout the year and as we live semi-rural they occur anywhere;- in woodlands, in fields, along creeks and by the beach. Luckily for my sanity she prefers comfort and declines the invites. And I am glad she doesn't go because some of her friends have had issues during these 'raves'.

DD's best friend's parents are as liberal and 'cool' as some of the posters on this thread but they also live in complete ignorant bliss, totally unaware their naive 17 year old is currently 6 weeks pregnant by a lad they have never met but were happy to let their child out every night with him to raves, car meet ups and God knows what else. She is due an abortion and her parents will never know.

I do indeed have a teenager but she’s never been or been invited to a country rave. They are a house party kind of a bunch. Maybe different when you live rurally but living in a busy city with lots going on maybe they don’t need to or maybe like your dd the grounds a whole prefer a little more comfort 😆

BootMaker · 15/03/2026 10:47

liveforsummer · 15/03/2026 01:59

Surely there are no raves in woodlands in early March? It’s freezing! I know she’s 17 but I’d maybe go for a drive at least to see what’s going on. It’s quite odd to be in woodland at this time at any time of year let alone winter

Edited

I was invited to a free party this weekend (wonder if it's the same one), I said no thanks, strictly Summer for that type of nonsense these days!

xanthomelana · 15/03/2026 10:47

Topoftherange · 15/03/2026 10:17

I do wonder if half these posters actually have teen girls or are just basing their replies on how they were at that age.

My dd is 17 and I too would be as worried as you were last nigh op. And for those who think there are no raves happening in March again have no idea what teen life is like, my dd is often invited to these things throughout the year and as we live semi-rural they occur anywhere;- in woodlands, in fields, along creeks and by the beach. Luckily for my sanity she prefers comfort and declines the invites. And I am glad she doesn't go because some of her friends have had issues during these 'raves'.

DD's best friend's parents are as liberal and 'cool' as some of the posters on this thread but they also live in complete ignorant bliss, totally unaware their naive 17 year old is currently 6 weeks pregnant by a lad they have never met but were happy to let their child out every night with him to raves, car meet ups and God knows what else. She is due an abortion and her parents will never know.

I was pregnant at the same age and my parents were the opposite of liberal and cool. It happens regardless of how strict or relaxed the parents are.

BootMaker · 15/03/2026 10:47

But absolutely do NOT turn up OP, the shame if you rocked up with a jumper°

ilovepixie · 15/03/2026 10:48

liveforsummer · 15/03/2026 01:59

Surely there are no raves in woodlands in early March? It’s freezing! I know she’s 17 but I’d maybe go for a drive at least to see what’s going on. It’s quite odd to be in woodland at this time at any time of year let alone winter

Edited

There’s raves everywhere! You don’t feel the cold at raves!

ilovepixie · 15/03/2026 10:49

She will be fine. My OH was a raver and I’ve been to a few. They are the nicest bunch of people. I’ve never seen a fight at a rave. They are there for the music and will help anyone who looks like they need help.

BootMaker · 15/03/2026 10:50

Topoftherange · 15/03/2026 10:17

I do wonder if half these posters actually have teen girls or are just basing their replies on how they were at that age.

My dd is 17 and I too would be as worried as you were last nigh op. And for those who think there are no raves happening in March again have no idea what teen life is like, my dd is often invited to these things throughout the year and as we live semi-rural they occur anywhere;- in woodlands, in fields, along creeks and by the beach. Luckily for my sanity she prefers comfort and declines the invites. And I am glad she doesn't go because some of her friends have had issues during these 'raves'.

DD's best friend's parents are as liberal and 'cool' as some of the posters on this thread but they also live in complete ignorant bliss, totally unaware their naive 17 year old is currently 6 weeks pregnant by a lad they have never met but were happy to let their child out every night with him to raves, car meet ups and God knows what else. She is due an abortion and her parents will never know.

I have a 17 year old daughter!! I'd be delighted if she was dancing her socks off in woods in March, it's what youth is for.

AmandaBrotzman · 15/03/2026 10:53

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 07:14

Last point
from me… it’s a quid pro quo. She’s ringing daddy at 6am for a lift home. So him tracking her location seems reasonable to me.

once she doesn’t need dad to come and collect her, then dad doesn’t have any grounds for tracking

She's ringing daddy because her parents have been texting her all the bloody night and she's just checked her phone!!

Lifeomars · 15/03/2026 10:53

I am so glad I was young pre-technology

BootMaker · 15/03/2026 10:55

Lifeomars · 15/03/2026 10:53

I am so glad I was young pre-technology

Indeed!

liveforsummer · 15/03/2026 10:56

Everyone bigging up raves for teenagers. The ones I went to in the 90’s (albeit organised ones not parties in the woods) were full of people E’d put their nuts chewing their faces off 😅. I’m glad dd isn’t in to that scene. The chemicals going about now are a lot more scary.

ilovepixie · 15/03/2026 10:57

FeyreArcheron · 15/03/2026 04:11

Of course they are bloody children. Don’t be ridiculous

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17 year olds are not children. You are being stupid. They can leave home,join the armed forces, have sex, in some parts of the UK get married! No wonder so many young people today have no life skills. They are babied and mollycoddled too much.

ilovepixie · 15/03/2026 10:59

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/03/2026 04:41

Have you heard from your dd? My dd is also 17. As others have said, raves these days don’t happen in secret or in woods. Raves are massive and legal organised events in places, such as massive warehouses in the winter, and outdoors in the summer. When I dropped my dd off at a rave in our local city, amongst other emergency vehicles, there were about 10 police cars sitting outside waiting in case of an incident.

I would be concerned for her, however, she may simply have gone bad to someone’s house with poor reception. But most likely is that she’s gone on a bit of adventure with some friends and I wouldn’t be happy about that. I hope your dd is ok and safe. Idk how you’d even find her but I would be going to have a look and try to be discreet.

Have you never heard of illegal raves! These do still happen!

AmandaBrotzman · 15/03/2026 11:03

liveforsummer · 15/03/2026 10:56

Everyone bigging up raves for teenagers. The ones I went to in the 90’s (albeit organised ones not parties in the woods) were full of people E’d put their nuts chewing their faces off 😅. I’m glad dd isn’t in to that scene. The chemicals going about now are a lot more scary.

Honestly I'd rather my DS was dancing in the woods on E than clubbing in a town drunk which is what he's desperate to do but isn't quite old enough yet.

liveforsummer · 15/03/2026 11:08

AmandaBrotzman · 15/03/2026 11:03

Honestly I'd rather my DS was dancing in the woods on E than clubbing in a town drunk which is what he's desperate to do but isn't quite old enough yet.

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I work in a bar at weekends which is frequented by young people. The only difference is the venue I imagine - they don’t drink loads but have lots of energy for dancing…

HotRootsAndNaughtyToots · 15/03/2026 11:16

4wardlooking · 15/03/2026 02:29

Out of all the things you could be worried about from going to a rave, you decide to pick her up as she could be cold 😂.

She’ll be dancing and drinking and won’t even feel it. Leave her be.

It's really sweet isn't it

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 15/03/2026 11:22

My brother and his friends used to go raving all the time at this age. They all used to ensure they were ok, wouldn’t have left people in the middle of nowhere.