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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect my passenger to pay for the damage she caused?

177 replies

ErinBell01 · 14/03/2026 17:58

I was giving a friend a lift to our meeting. I parked in the car park and switched off the engine. Passenger picked up her bag and opened the door and there was a bang! A car had driven past my car to occupy the space in front of the space next to my car and the door had hit this car. Friend said she'd looked in the mirror but hadn't seen him. We all got out and inspected the damage and exchanged details. My car has a dent and paint damage on the door. OP had damage to his wheel arch. When I dropped friend off later I said I was going to contact my insurers and also get quotes, and would hear from OP. She didn't offer to pay anything. I've now got a price, not worth going to insurers due to XS, OP says his pal is fixing his car at no cost. What do I say to my friend? Husband says she won't remain a friend if I expect her to pay anything. AIBU to expect her to take responsibility? It was an accident but she caused it.

OP posts:
Aiming4Optimistic · 18/03/2026 07:33

If she knows you are going to be down £250 because of her mistake and she lets you pay it anyway, then she's no friend and your relationship can't (and shouldn't) recover from that! Doing a favour isn't supposed to leave you worse off, when it wasn't your fault. Okay, it was an accident and easily done, but it still needs to be paid for!

KeyLimeCake · 18/03/2026 10:46

ErinBell01 · 17/03/2026 19:45

Another update: So I saw my friend today at another meeting, and despite having a one to one convo with her for a while, she never mentioned the accident, nor offered me the money she said that she'd bring. I kept waiting for her to bring it up but she left early for family reasons and I was left wondering where I go from here! No doubt texting her to say I understand she might have forgotten and she can pay into my bank and giving her the details. It's also occurred to me that she has no proof of the cost as we didn't get a quote in writing, but I have told her I just want half of it. Nothing is ever easy is it?

Bit late now but you should have brought it up.
She may have totally forgotten, she may have brought the money and forgotten to give it to you. Or had second thoughts.

If I were you now, I would say "totally forgot to ask you for the money, shall we sort it out next time?" .... and definitely bring it up!
Could you get a quote and send her that as well?

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