AIBU to expect my passenger to pay for the damage she caused?

[ErinBell01]

I was giving a friend a lift to our meeting. I parked in the car park and switched off the engine. Passenger picked up her bag and opened the door and there was a bang! A car had driven past my car to occupy the space in front of the space next to my car and the door had hit this car. Friend said she'd looked in the mirror but hadn't seen him. We all got out and inspected the damage and exchanged details. My car has a dent and paint damage on the door. OP had damage to his wheel arch. When I dropped friend off later I said I was going to contact my insurers and also get quotes, and would hear from OP. She didn't offer to pay anything. I've now got a price, not worth going to insurers due to XS, OP says his pal is fixing his car at no cost. What do I say to my friend? Husband says she won't remain a friend if I expect her to pay anything. AIBU to expect her to take responsibility? It was an accident but she caused it.

Accidents are just accidents. Poor people have them as much as rich people- presumably you think poor people should need to make themselves perfect on top of everything else 🙄

if OP has told her insurance company (which she is obliged to in her t&cs) they’ve already factored the increase into next premium whether she claims or not

My insurance excess is £200. Would you expect me to pay for that, and any increased premium, if you were my passenger?

It was an accident. I’d simply never expect a friend to pay. If I were the friend however, I’d offer to pay the excess.

It was definitely her fault, I'm unsure if she should pay though - can she? She should at least offer. Don't think I'd be offering any more lifts.

If you can’t afford breaking something don’t touch it.

Fed up of people being expected to pay excess and higher premiums because some other person damaged or broke their stuff.

I have insurance for if break my stuff not to overcome clumsy sod. Who then goes oh but you have insurance so it costs me for them being incapable.

In some countries people would be expected to have personal liability insurance for situations like this.
I imagine that's doubtful in this case.

How much is the excess v the cost? If excess was lower than the cost and you just didn't want to use insurance I would pay you the excess. I wouldn't be rushing to pay for an insured event tbh just because you didn't want to use it.

Oh give over. It’s not about how much money you have. It’s having personal responsibility and not letting someone else pay for YOUR mistake.

Given you said you were going to contact them would she not have assumed the insurance would cover it?

This. It’s what insurance is for.

I wouldnt be friends with someone who doesn't at least offer to pay the excess

Your friend should definitely pay! Through an action of her own undertaking, she caused an accident which has caused you time and money. And she definitely didn't properly check the mirrors, she was just careless.......

Id offer to pay - without hesitation if I was your passenger.

I wouldn't dream of asking the passenger to pay. You can tell her how much you are out of pocket see if she offers but at the end of the day it was an accident.

How long after you parking up did the other car go past on your passenger side? How fast was he driving? At what angle did he enter the space next to your car? Is there any possibility he wasn’t actually visible? Is there any possibility it was actually his fault? I’m suspicious that he’s quick to say he’ll get a mate to mend his car, rather than go through your insurance… He could have been driving negligently and wants you to avoid claiming on HIS insurance because in reality he’s liable? In which case it’s a bit unfair to totally blame your friend.

Thank you for all your responses. Very interesting reading them all. I think most people think that my friend should be paying for the damage. I certainly would feel that I was responsible for the damage if I'd opened my door and hit a car passing by. I note that someone suggested that the other driver was to blame. Maybe he was driving a bit too quickly which was why my friend didn't see him, but that is impossible to prove and it's usually the person opening the door that is to blame. There obviously is no proof that she looked, but even if she did there is still a 'blind spot'. I've been pondering over her reaction at the time. She certainly didn't offer to pay, but I did say I was going to contact insurers so she possibly thought they'd take care of it. However, it's costing £250 and our excess is £250 so no point involving them. However, I'm obliged to state that we've had an accident when I apply for insurance next year, whether we claimed or not, so our insurance premium will rise anyway. I'm thinking that I will text her to say we've accepted a quote of £250 and have booked the car in and haven't involved insurance because our XS is £250 and tell her the nice man isn't charging us, and see what she says. I'll see her in person on Tuesday so that will be crunch time!

I've thought of this and I think I'd only just turned off the engine when I was aware friend bent forward to pick up her bag and then opened door and bang. I can't actually think he was driving very fast as he'd had to come round a twisty lane to get into the car park then manoeuvre slightly out of his normal line of drive to get into the space. He parked in the space in a reasonable manner, although very slightly to the left, which is not unreasonable after being hit on the right. I certainly didn't give him any reason to think I'd claim against him. He seemed very nice and reasonable and I'm grateful his pal can fix it. It was a small amount of damage, just a wee dent and some damaged paint, whereas mine is a bit more.

Just to add to those agreeing your passenger should pay. Yes, accidents happen but even with insurance it’s not free to sort - why should HER accident be YOUR cost?? You’ve already got the hassle of sorting it. And you were doing a favour by giving the lift!

The driver is always responsible unfortunately. I’d never ask a friend to pay in a case like this. Though I’d offer to pay the excess if I’d caused the damage.

She won’t offer. This is your opportunity to ask for her to pay for what she caused. Or you could say, do you want to pay the garage directly or us?

I think I would suck this up and pay but as a PP said the friendship is damaged regardless as she hasn’t offered to pay.

perhaps another solution would be to ask her to pay half? Could you say something along lines of ‘look this is awkward, it’s costing £250 to repair the damage. Would you consider splitting it?’ And see what she says

I think the very least she could do is make a contribution towards the cost of having your car fixed. It’s possible she thinks that as yr insurers are involved that you won’t be out of pocket. However she’s not taking into account how much your premium will go up next year.

i know it was unintentional on her part but why should have to pay for what she did?

She didn’t borrow the car, and someone else hit it.

But we all have varying amounts of excess on insurance policies. If the damage will cost, say £350, and OP has £500 excess on her policy, then of course it's not worth using insurance as it'll cost more.

I would expect the friend to contribute at the bare minimum, but cover it in full at best, and she should offer if she's a good friend. A car doesn't just suddenly appear next to you, and they wouldn't have been going fast if turning into a space, so she can't have been looking very well.

If it's only £250 I would just pay for it myself, but it depends how much you value the friendship.