AIBU to expect my passenger to pay for the damage she caused?

[ErinBell01]

I was giving a friend a lift to our meeting. I parked in the car park and switched off the engine. Passenger picked up her bag and opened the door and there was a bang! A car had driven past my car to occupy the space in front of the space next to my car and the door had hit this car. Friend said she'd looked in the mirror but hadn't seen him. We all got out and inspected the damage and exchanged details. My car has a dent and paint damage on the door. OP had damage to his wheel arch. When I dropped friend off later I said I was going to contact my insurers and also get quotes, and would hear from OP. She didn't offer to pay anything. I've now got a price, not worth going to insurers due to XS, OP says his pal is fixing his car at no cost. What do I say to my friend? Husband says she won't remain a friend if I expect her to pay anything. AIBU to expect her to take responsibility? It was an accident but she caused it.

Your friend should pay. She damaged your property, yes accidentally, but if you were at someone's house and accidentally broke a vase you'd pay to replace it wouldn't you?

I think the other driver is 100% responsible and that's why he doesn't want to go through insurers and why your friend is not offering to pay. Either go through insurers or pay it yourself.

She is not your friend OP if she didn't apologise profusely at the time and reassure you that she would cover costs, at the very least, pay your excess!
Charge her and accept the friendship is over. Its ruined now anyway as you will be resentful for her not stepping up like a true friend should in the first place.

I do, but when I start the maneuver it should be obvious what I am doing. Parking. In a car park. Everyone should drive slowly anyway as children may walk out.

Someone has to pay for it and I don't see why it should be the OP, who was doing a favour and who wasn't the one opening the door!

It's all very well saying that the driver is always responsible for the passengers but how many of us would really tell a passenger, every time we drive, to mind when they open the doors?

What is the cost to you? You haven’t said. If it’s a hundred or so the you could say to your friend ‘I’ve got the quote, are you able to contribute to this?’ If it’s in the thousands then you can’t expect it.

if it was for a work meeting, then check with work that it’s not covered under a work insurance

£250.00 is really not a lot of money in the world of car repairs! Your friend was careless and the result of the accident is increased cost and inconvenience to you and the other driver. Whether you choose to go via the insurance or not, £250.00 is either the full cost of the repairs via the garage or the cost of your excess for an insurance claim. Your friend should be offering to pay. It is terrible that she hasn't and shows you a lot about her character.

I'm thinking that I will text her to say we've accepted a quote of £250 and have booked the car in and haven't involved insurance because our XS is £250 and tell her the nice man isn't charging us, and see what she says.

Well if you sent that to me, I’d just think “yay happy days, all sorted.”

I think she’s not offering to pay because she believes it’s the other car’s fault.

What do you mean “responsible”? -morally? Legally? The driver is clearly liable for damage or losses to the passenger no matter what their age. But maybe that’s not what you mean?

if legally responsible that suggests OP could take legal action against her friend. This is clearly not realistic, so what is the purpose of “how wrong you are the driver isn’t responsible?”

It's a car park. Someone stops and goes into a parking space, It is not a motorway. People drive in and park. When you see someone stop you wait. Do you have a driving license? Strewth!

It's probably not realistic, but it's certainly possible. OP's friend caused damage to OP's property by negligence. That is certainly actionable. Her friend is legally responsible and should pay voluntarily.

The other driver cannot be responsible if someone suddenly opens a door in front of him when it's too late to stop. That's why you are supposed to look before you open a car door anywhere where there are moving vehicles around.

Morally I would expect her to offer something towards the repair. Legally probably not.

Completely as an aside I'm surprised this type of accident - car driving into opening door on parked car - doesn't happen more often, but I do recall one case, I think it was actually a policewoman getting out of her car, when another car hit the door and she lost one (maybe both) legs. Obviously the circumstances were wildly different but car doors are hugely heavy.

You are right. I tried to edit my post but it wouldn't let me.

It's perfectly comparable. You claimed that the passenger couldn't be liable because it wasn't deliberate. In the situations I referred to, the drivers wouldn't be acting deliberately. The only difference possibly lies in the degree of damage, the principle is exactly the same.

There are lots of things that happen when you own a car. If someone is driving carelessly and knocks off your wing mirror, is that just one of those things that happen? Or should they stop and offer to pay? How about if they drive too close and gouge your paintwork? How about if they hit your car and cause a big dent? Or take the whole wing out? Or make it undriveable? Or make it a write-off? Are those all just things that happen that drivers should just suck up? If not, where and why do you draw the line?

This! I wouldn’t expect it necessarily as it’s my car - but I would expect at least an offer, which I’d go halves with if it wasn’t v easy for me to cover the cost financially.

It’s the fact she hasn’t offered that’s the problem. She’s an awful person. Your view of her is now permanently altered.

She would’nt be allowed back in my car if she didnt offer to pay.

It’s not at all. If John crashes into me he pays for the damage. I pay zero. There is nothing to “suck up”

if my friend Sharon opens her door onto johns car then as the car owner I am
liable and I must lay for John’s damage. I have to “suck it up”

also- I didn’t claim the passenger can’t be liable because it wasn’t deliberate. Can you point me to the post you’re thinking of as maybe I wasn’t clear

As a driver, it is part of my duty of care to my passengers to ensure it is safe for them to get out. So I'd either park up where they are kerbside (and advise on pedestrians/cyclists coming along), or if stopped the other side watch the road for cars/motorcycles/cycles etc coming past, because not all passengers are car drivers and think to look. I, after all, have mirrors and a head I can swivel to look. So I think take this one on the chin and a lesson learned: as a driver you are responsible for your passengers.

If I was your friend, I would have offered to pay.

I think your friend should pay, and I know I would pay if it were me. For the sake of your friendship, though, (assuming you still want a friendship with her since she hasn't offered to pya, which I think is right cheeky) how about asking her to go halves on the cost?

Passenger should pay for any out of pocket expenses eg, the excess charge and there would be no more lifts from me if I were you OP.

And who’s paying the excess then? She should!!

I disagree. It would be annoying but I wouldn’t make the passenger pay.

If you were to get an Uber and you accidentally did what OPs passenger did, would you pay for it or assume he’d claim on his insurance.

Rhetorical. We both know you wouldn’t pay.

This thread is bonkers...under the highway code and the road vehicles construction and use act, the passenger should be carefully checking that the road is clear before opening the door and if they haven't done this properly then any damage they cause as a result, is their fault. You're not responsible for your passenger in this scenario.

The OP did nothing wrong and if I was the passenger in this scenario 100pc I'd offer to pay. In fact I know someone who's passenger damaged their door in this exact scenario (although it was around 20 years ago) and his passenger did pay for the damage and felt awful about it.

The passenger should pay. The only circumstances that the passenger shouldn't pay are -

• if it could be proved that the other car was being driven recklessly
• if the OP had told the passenger that it was safe to get out