AIBU to expect my passenger to pay for the damage she caused?

[ErinBell01]

I was giving a friend a lift to our meeting. I parked in the car park and switched off the engine. Passenger picked up her bag and opened the door and there was a bang! A car had driven past my car to occupy the space in front of the space next to my car and the door had hit this car. Friend said she'd looked in the mirror but hadn't seen him. We all got out and inspected the damage and exchanged details. My car has a dent and paint damage on the door. OP had damage to his wheel arch. When I dropped friend off later I said I was going to contact my insurers and also get quotes, and would hear from OP. She didn't offer to pay anything. I've now got a price, not worth going to insurers due to XS, OP says his pal is fixing his car at no cost. What do I say to my friend? Husband says she won't remain a friend if I expect her to pay anything. AIBU to expect her to take responsibility? It was an accident but she caused it.

Only £250 is a lot of money! I wish we were in a position to think that wasn't a lot!

I would ask her to split the cost.

Ask to split and present the offer correctly.

It's very unfortunate
I cant imagine she goes around damaging car doors regularly and if she doesnt drive herself she might not get it and think insurance magically sorts everything.

I think I'd explain shes very lucky. Other car is fixing it himself and its only £250 for your damage. you are an understanding friend and know it was just one of those unfortunate things so you are happy to split it. She can give you125 and here is your bank details.

Years ago dh got his car hit by an uninsured and untaxed driver,
The guy was fined but it didn’t help us, we still had to pay extra on our insurance.
Our agent (that’s how long ago it was) told us very wisely that this is the cost of driving and we just had to accept it.

Those saying that’s what insurance is for have you never heard of an Excess? Some are small like £100 but others are upwards of £400-£500 if not more. Are you saying OP should pay the excess?

personally I would ask the friend for covering the excess and go through insurance for the rest. If the excess is small perhaps write it off but if it’s a large excess you may have to think about small claims court to get it covered if they refuse to pay.

I'd resent her forever for not offering. I'd feel disrespected and the money would be immaterial. I guess I'd pay it and the friendship would be at best frosty from then on.

Why are you obliged to tell them? The whole point of both parties not going through insurance is so you don't tell them so your premiums don't increase.

Tell her how much it will cost you. She should at least offer to pay something towards it. She caused the damage and it's lucky that the damage wasn't much worse and that nobody was injured.

It’s a difficult one, personally I’d think of it as an unfortunate accident and not ask her

This accident was preventable and caused by the passenger's carelessness, so wouldn't you expect her to feel a bit obliged to offer to pay something towards the cost?

As a friend I would offer to pay immediately. And then feeling incredibly guilty still about the hassle which is as much of an inconvenience as the money.

OP you do not need to disclose that to your insurance. It's just a scrape.

Insurance - but she should pay the excess (you will be out of pocket still as your premiums will go up so you are still being generous)

If she doesn't pay the excess, the friendship is over. If she objects to you asking she isn't a friend.

You are out of pocket either way. Yes it's an accident but accidents still have to be paid for. And it was her fault.

Basically it's her call as to how much she values the friendship, not yours.

Because the terms of your insurance will say you must tell them about all collisions, even those that don’t result in a claim…

So they can put up your premiums. Who is going to tell them that you previous had a very small accident that neither party claimed for? Would the insurance company be so honest with you?

I can't believe people think your friend shouldn't cover the excess. She opened the door, not you. I would straight out ask her to cover it and if she didn't the friendship would be over.

I would ask her for something towards it maybe not the full amount if you want to keep the friendship although my opinion of her would change if she hasn’t offered herself

This is a lose-lose situation I’m afraid whatever you do, in terms of friendship. A friend of mine used a small antique mirror (A4 sized) which was propped up next to a cupboard ready to hang. She propped it up on a shelf to do her makeup and it fell off and smashed. She never offered to pay for new glass. We are, years later, Xmas card level only now - the smash was just an accident but she never apologised or offered to pay. It was a gateway into realising many other instances where she had been self-centred.

At the very least she should pay half.

I’m in the other driver is at least partly responsible camp. He should have been driving more carefully; a door opening when a car has just parked is not an unusual occurrence and his error is equal to or actually more than your friend’s. No wonder he is happy to sort his out! It’s a difficult one because it’s possible she thinks this too and perhaps this is why she doesn’t think she should pay. It is just one of those things though. In a fair world you’d pay 1/3 each - you, her and the other driver but it sounds like you’re going to end up paying the lot!

😂

This isn't something to tell the insurance about!

Off topic but I also wouldn't tell my insurance about this. You didn't have a car accident - your passenger scraped a door in your stationary car!

I do think she should offer to pay and I think suggesting that you split it (£125 each) would be a tactful way to approach it. If I was the friend I'd insist on paying it all.

Absolutely the friend should pay! I’m aghast she hasn’t been profusely apologetic and already offered, any reasonable person would be. Yes it was an accident but she caused it. Why should you be out of pocket plus inconvenienced by your car having to go in for repair. Honestly I’d play dumb and just tell her how much the quote was and does she want to do cash or bank transfer. Incredibly rude of her not to have offered to pay.

I can’t see how this could be the other driver’s fault. This is all on the friend. She was careless while you were doing her a favour. She should pay up to your excess. I’d definitely message her and tell her the cost.

I’d expect my friend to pay. I would also be prepared to end the friendship if they didn’t pay.