AIBU to expect my passenger to pay for the damage she caused?

[ErinBell01]

I was giving a friend a lift to our meeting. I parked in the car park and switched off the engine. Passenger picked up her bag and opened the door and there was a bang! A car had driven past my car to occupy the space in front of the space next to my car and the door had hit this car. Friend said she'd looked in the mirror but hadn't seen him. We all got out and inspected the damage and exchanged details. My car has a dent and paint damage on the door. OP had damage to his wheel arch. When I dropped friend off later I said I was going to contact my insurers and also get quotes, and would hear from OP. She didn't offer to pay anything. I've now got a price, not worth going to insurers due to XS, OP says his pal is fixing his car at no cost. What do I say to my friend? Husband says she won't remain a friend if I expect her to pay anything. AIBU to expect her to take responsibility? It was an accident but she caused it.

Ah well that is the risk you take if you let people into your car. Best bet is to just keep it in the garage permanently and never drive it. Of better yet, accept that we live in a world of risks, the car owner has decided to own a car despite that and insurance is our hedge against risk. It is what it is. If I am overly concerned about accidents from passengers I admit to my car, I will stop admitting passengers into my car.

Seems to be a case of legally against morally. I 100% think your friend was in the wrong as we constantly tell our kids to watch if anything's coming before opening their car door. Legally I guess, your car your problem. But if my friend had done that then I would expect them to offer to pay and it would leave a pretty bad taste if they didn't. So I would lose a friend probably either way.

I would say that if someone causes an accident by opening a car door it is always their fault, just as if someone drives into the back of you it is always their fault.

What an interesting take. Do you always go straight to def con 2 in a debate?

cute bit of victim blaming there. your local cab driver begs to differ

Not sure what def con 2 is supposed to be about. If you don't want to accept the liability of someone using your stuff, don't lend it. If you're over 18, take some responsibility. I for sure will not be paying out if an accident happens with someone else's car while I am a passenger. What if they're a grifter and their mate came and had an 'accident' with the car so they can get me to pay out cash. Nah. Everyone take responsibility for their own stuff.

another reason why road rules should be taught in schools. Print out a diagram of the Dutch Reach and paste it on to your passenger side window. And yes, your passenger should pay, but expect resentment / pushback. Amazed by those arguing for you to pay- clearly not drivers. (The method involves opening the car door from the inside with the hand furthest from the handle. That gives you a chance to check your mirrors and blind spot for passing people or cars.)

Thx for the strawman response. Suspect you don't own a car / pay for its upkeep? Offer lifts?

If she doesn’t offer to pay, never give her a lift or do her a favour again.

I own a car. Had another car stolen from me. Pay insurance for my car. I offer lifts. I accept what happens to my car is my responsibility. Except where another driver is liable.

I’m glad you had such a good outcome!

You're a saint

Ofc she should pay. Not your responsibility in any way. It's not an accident, she was negligent.

Clearly has an old banger of no real value. And probably no friends to have as passengers.

The friend offered OP the money and they reached an outcome

Ah that's a good outcome OP

So husband and I were out in car this afternoon and I was telling him about a few posters advising the 'Dutch Reach'. He did it and could see behind the car. I did it and could only see myself in the passenger mirror, I had to move almost out of my seat and peer at the mirror from a strange angle to see a limited view of what was behind me. So it's hardly foolproof, and I can guarantee my passenger didn't do all that manoevering before she opened the door!

The door hit the front wheel arch of the other car so he was almost level with us en route to the space in front. So no, I don't think he drove in seeing she'd opened the door, otherwise it would have hit the front of his car

the point of it is that the action reminds you to make that LITTLE BIT of extra effort to ensure that you CAN see that the way is clear before being taken out by a passing car, or you yourself taking out a passing cyclist etc

And if I'm out of pocket by £250 do you not think she should offer to pay? I can't see that I've done anything wrong, but she was careless opening the door into an oncoming car, thankfully doing only a relatively small amount of damage. So who do you think should pay? Do you think I shouldn't give anyone a lift? My friend and I share giving each other lifts to save petrol and pollution. I also give a lift to a friend who hasn't been able to drive for months to another meeting. But if I follow what you advocate I'd not be able to do this. Is that really what you're saying?

Another update: So I saw my friend today at another meeting, and despite having a one to one convo with her for a while, she never mentioned the accident, nor offered me the money she said that she'd bring. I kept waiting for her to bring it up but she left early for family reasons and I was left wondering where I go from here! No doubt texting her to say I understand she might have forgotten and she can pay into my bank and giving her the details. It's also occurred to me that she has no proof of the cost as we didn't get a quote in writing, but I have told her I just want half of it. Nothing is ever easy is it?

You should pay for the costs as it is your car. But giving her a lift in future? That’s your call. Maybe she is a passenger who doesn’t ride in your car with due care and attention… maybe she doesn’t ride in your car again. That’s totally fair. If you are invited to someone’s house and you vomit on their carpet do you expect to be invited back?

As they say, you lost today kid, but it doesn’t mean you have to like it. You should pay because it’s your car but if your friend wants to rely on the use of your car again in future, well, if I was her I would be offering fast to pay for all the damages…

Surely you check nothing is passing you before opening your car door? It's a very basic rule of being in a car whether a passenger or a driver! Think of others! You don't have some God given right to throw your door open willy nilly LOOK first. It ain't hard.

I agree with your first sentence, largely, but if there is one place where we can expect people to unexpectedly stop, turn, and open doors, it is a car park! When I am following someone I drive slowly, don't try to pass them, and always scan for pedestrians and be ready to stop. I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this.