AIBU to expect my passenger to pay for the damage she caused?

[ErinBell01]

I was giving a friend a lift to our meeting. I parked in the car park and switched off the engine. Passenger picked up her bag and opened the door and there was a bang! A car had driven past my car to occupy the space in front of the space next to my car and the door had hit this car. Friend said she'd looked in the mirror but hadn't seen him. We all got out and inspected the damage and exchanged details. My car has a dent and paint damage on the door. OP had damage to his wheel arch. When I dropped friend off later I said I was going to contact my insurers and also get quotes, and would hear from OP. She didn't offer to pay anything. I've now got a price, not worth going to insurers due to XS, OP says his pal is fixing his car at no cost. What do I say to my friend? Husband says she won't remain a friend if I expect her to pay anything. AIBU to expect her to take responsibility? It was an accident but she caused it.

It was a car park. People park and open doors. That is exactly what they are for! Someone blared their horn when I was parking the other day- I asked what is up? and they said you suddenly turned! Yes, I turned into an empty bay, what did you think I was going to do, take off and fly?

So someone drove into a bay whilst your passenger had already opened the door to exit? Is that what happened? If that's the case then surely the other car is at fault, driving into a bay without looking properly.
If that's not the case then I would ask your friend for a contribution towards costs but be mindful it may also cost your friendship too

Ridiculous response. If someone crashed into your car or ran you over because they weren't looking, it wouldn't be deliberate. Would you happily suck it up?

The point is that anyone knows you have to check your surroundings before opening a car door when you\re anywhere with moving vehicles around. It was clearly the passenger's fault so she should pay.

By that token, people drive in roads, therefore if they stray over onto your side of the road out of carelessness they shouldn't be held responsible. FFS, you're in a vehicle that can cause damage, you take care wherever you are - and that includes car parks.

?! If someone crashed into your car it would be their liability to pay. So not really comparable. And yes,ultimately whilst upsetting and time consuming, it is just one of those things that happens when you own a car.

The insurance is irrelevant. The 'friend' damaged someone's else's property due to either carelessness or stupidity and should pay.

I said in my first post if it were me I would offer- but that only a tosser would charge their friend

She should pay and ought to have offered at the time.

She should pay!

Well in the counter argument to “don’t have accidents if you can’t afford them” - don’t have a car if you can’t afford your excess.

yeah, it’s a load of bullshit either way isn’t it

No. In car parks, people park in bays, on roads people also respect road markings. I wasn't doing anything unexpected or careless, I was parking. In a car park. And when people park, they open the car doors to get out of the car. I don't know why the other driver was surprised by this.

Pay what though? Car repairs are extortionate ( thanks to inflated insurance claims).
What work would you want covered? Paint job, new panel , bit of T cut?
If you are asking her to pay then she needs to be able to take your car for quotes or need to find a reasonable price.

I had a learner driver bash into me and I let it go because it’s just a car. I drive mine until the stop working and scrap them. Life is much easier without the worry.

You were the one in control of the vehicle, you are one insured and you are responsible for your passengers.. You could have been looking in the mirrors and watching out for other vehicles but you weren't. The other driver also bears some responsibility for driving that close to a parked vehicle that was fairly likely, under the circumstances, to open a door suddenly. It's not as cut-and-dried "her fault" as you are asserting and while she might, for friendship, offer to contribute to the costs she isn't obliged to.

Err how wrong you are. The driver isn't responsible for anyone over the age of 14yo.

She caused the accident. Her household insurance may cover it, I'd ask her to check. But yes she is responsible. Question is whether the friendship is worth more than the cost to you, but honestly she has not offered anything so is this a real friendship?

You’re insured for this. She’s not legally obliged to pay. But if she has the funds to pay for her mistake she should at least contribute rather than leaving it all to you.

25 years ago I failed my driving test because a parked car swing open their door when I was driving past slowly - narrowly avoided it hitting me but apparently it was my fault as I should have been anticipating it. As you can tell I'm still bitter about it 😂 so I've always assumed it was at least partly the other cars fault.

But the other party has agreed to pay for theirs so fair for you/your friend to pay for yours. Agree she should at least pay half (probably all).

This is what insurance is for and is why we paid extra for a lower excess. Personally I would chalk it up to an unfortunate accident and forget all about it. I definitely wouldn’t ask for money.

If I was silly enough not to be able to see a car and opened my door causing damage I would 100% be offering to pay for the consequences of my carelessness. I'm surprised anyone thinks differently. Some people take responsibility for their actions and some people don't.

This. I don’t think I could continue the friendship if at least half wasn’t offered and paid.

Surely you’re insured?

I wouldn’t expect her to pay. It will be hundreds wont it?

I think your friend should have offered to pay. I would have been mortified if I would have damaged someone else’s car by my own actions.

I understand where people are coming from about not having money. It could be that when the quote comes back for the repair work they might not be able to afford it but at least it showed a bit of willing rather than just saying nothing.

Since you were in charge of the car OP, the cost should be split between both of you (50/50). Legally you are responsible for any passengers exiting your car. If you had seen what was about to happen and told at your friend to stop, they ignored you and opened the door anyway, that's a different matter and they should then pay for all of the damage.

There was a case (2016 I believe) where a passenger exited a taxi and opened their door into a cyclist. The cyclist was knocked into traffic and killed. Both the passenger and taxi driver were prosecuted (and the penalty for the taxi driver was far worse than the passenger).
I would have expected a decent friend to have at least offered towards the costs.

I do think a big part of the issue is the need to keep cars pristine. The insurance rules are crazy but do exist and you have to work within the bounds of what is available. Realistically it would be a lot cheaper for many of us if what is considered solely cosmetic damage wasn’t covered by insurance. I think if that were the case it would become the norm to just patch things up vs returning them to a state of perfection.

We live somewhere with a narrow back lane and a pedestrian street. Most of the cars have been scratched or dinged at various times and there seems to be a 50/50 split in approach. Some people fix every time where others, usually with older cards, have simply chosen to list their cars condition as poor when sorting insurance and then self repair or do nothing unless there is an incident that is much more serious. It’s a bit of a con really as you have so many perfectly roadworthy old cars written off on the basis of damage that is basically cosmetic.

Does friend understand car insurance and the process? Presume this is an adult.

I think she should really have offered to pay and I would expect her to pay the insurance excess or the cost of repair if less.

You are still supposed to indicate so that other drivers know when you're about to manoeuvre.