@Tessy1965998 -
I am a version of your son.
I was forced into helping care for a grandparent as a child (from age 10/11) - grandmother had ALS and we had her move in with us and live in our home with us. I was changing her diapers as a child. I helped change her soiled clothing and bedding and do the laundry. She died when I was 13 and it was horrific.
Then one of my parents had an awful accident when I was 18, and my other parent decided to take care of them at home with no outside help/caregivers/etc. My older sister and I were forced - both literally forced and also felt socially obligated - to remain living at home to help care for our father. He had catastrophic brain damage and needed constant 24/7 care.
I never finished university. I never got a degree. I never had a career/job other than either low-pay retail or the family business, as I could not spend much time working when I was a full-time caregiver for my disabled parent. I never got married. I never had children.
My father lived for 21 years after his accident, catastrophically disabled and utterly dependent. He was in diapers, had a feeding tube, soiled his bed no matter how well we fixed his diapers, etc. Someone had to sit at his bedside all night as he would occasionally roll around and either fall out of bed or get "stuck" against the bed railings. He needed to have his mouth/throat suctioned hourly or else he'd choke on mucus buildup. It was probably more care than you need/will end up needing, but I was also forced into being an emotional support for my mother, who was constantly playing the "woe is me, my husband had an accident" martyr for two straight decades.
My father died 21 years after his accident, when I was 38 years old. I am 44 years old now. My sister is 50. We both still live at home, as my mother is in her 80s now. It's too late for me to finish my education and get a job/career in the fields I dreamed I'd work in. I am so incredibly resentful of my mother forcing me, with emotional blackmail exactly like you're doing to your son, to stay living with her to take care of my father for two decades of my life. I absolutely wasted my entire young adulthood and I got cheated out of every single one of my dreams and all of my happiness. I never have even gone on a vacation to a place that is more than an hour away from where I live/more than a weekend trip. Did YOU get to go on vacations when you were younger? My mother did.
I loathe the fact that my mother refused to get outside help/other carers to help with my dad's care, or place him in a facility when things got bad, and otherwise emotionally blackmailed my sister and I into being caregivers. Neither one of us had lives of our own. My sister has never been in a relationship, and my single own relationship never progressed past the dating phase - how could it, when I was essentially married to being a caregiver for my parent?
If your post is true, you are incredibly selfish. Did you have a child just to ensure you'd have a servant to wipe your bum in your elderly or sick times? Did you even consider your son's emotional state, how he must be feeling knowing that his parent is ill and potentially dying? Or are you so wrapped up in your own self-pity that you don't even realize he's an entire human being, a separate person of his own, whose hopes, dreams, and life all have value outside of the scope of YOUR life and what YOU want?
I will never forgive my mother for destroying the lives of her two children with the choices she made in regards to my father's care. She still sits and whines and cries about how much time and life she "lost" when my dad had his accident and has absolutely no care that she wasted the entire young adulthoods of her two children.
I can empathize and sympathize with how you must feel, and how afraid you are for your own life and health. But, as kindly as I can put it, you've had a life already. You've gotten to live. You've had a chance.
You are currently actively destroying your son's chance to have a normal life as well.
Try to also imagine how terrible he must be feeling as well, to know his beloved mother is sick and suffering.