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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

827 replies

Wrongsideof50 · 14/03/2026 15:03

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

OP posts:
Jane143 · 15/03/2026 19:14

TheSquashyHatofMrGnosspelius · 15/03/2026 19:07

This 100%. I could tell you what I'm going through but you would think it's fiction. Get a grip rather than asking us to slag off your kid.

I agree. Us mums should absolutely treasure our babies

summerjumper · 15/03/2026 19:21

Tbf you’re lucky you got anything if that’s how you behave when someone buys you a gift.

ForPoisedLemonScroller · 15/03/2026 19:27

Maybe you could say oh babe i thought u were gonna bake them i love when you bake but thanks anyway 🙈🙈

LaughingCat · 15/03/2026 19:29

OP: AIBU?
Mumsnet: Yes.
OP: No, I’m not. You all just love to tear people down! You’re all mean!

Saints alive, I came here for this exact thread today. Just KNEW there was going to be one 😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/03/2026 19:31

LaughingCat · 15/03/2026 19:29

OP: AIBU?
Mumsnet: Yes.
OP: No, I’m not. You all just love to tear people down! You’re all mean!

Saints alive, I came here for this exact thread today. Just KNEW there was going to be one 😂

Excuse me? I dont think she is BU at all, so dont lump me in with your attempted put down.

Doteycat · 15/03/2026 19:32

Cant believe they didnt make the bread at home.
Outrageous.
Did they even grow their own strawberrys?
I dunno. Kids these days.

Forevergardening · 15/03/2026 19:35

Ungrateful mook

Forevergardening · 15/03/2026 19:35

Ungrateful mook

SusiQ18472638 · 15/03/2026 19:42

I actually feel sorry for your daughter, she thinks she’s doing a nice thing and you are “gutted”. You seem hard work and this is the most ridiculous thing to get worked up about.

LoftyPlumLion · 15/03/2026 19:44

thats an experience for you to coach them to do things your way, getting cross or disappointed is not the right call.

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 19:50

LoftyPlumLion · 15/03/2026 19:44

thats an experience for you to coach them to do things your way, getting cross or disappointed is not the right call.

Is doing things OP the only way?

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 19:52

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/03/2026 19:31

Excuse me? I dont think she is BU at all, so dont lump me in with your attempted put down.

Count me in on OT!! OP
is being so UR it’s embarrassing!!

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 19:53

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 19:52

Count me in on OT!! OP
is being so UR it’s embarrassing!!

As 91% of people agree!

And as for saying people that disagree are tearing her down…. 🤦‍♀️

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/03/2026 19:55

SusiQ18472638 · 15/03/2026 19:42

I actually feel sorry for your daughter, she thinks she’s doing a nice thing and you are “gutted”. You seem hard work and this is the most ridiculous thing to get worked up about.

She is gutted that her DD wanted to give the gift she asked for and her "D"H went for the lazy option. The OP is not pissed off at her DD but at her husband!

BrightLeader · 15/03/2026 19:58

OMG - sorry just be grateful !!

Caitl995 · 15/03/2026 20:00

Namechangerage · 15/03/2026 00:39

Wow.

I can’t believe there are really people who think this deeply about a sandwich! Explains a lot…

Yes it explains why some of us don’t eat overpriced shite stuffed with preservatives and salt. Excuse us and our desire to live a long and healthy life and to ensure our children eat well and feel well as a result and our expectations for any more than absolute bare minimum from the people we literally give up our lives to look after 🤷🏻‍♀️

SusiQ18472638 · 15/03/2026 20:02

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/03/2026 19:55

She is gutted that her DD wanted to give the gift she asked for and her "D"H went for the lazy option. The OP is not pissed off at her DD but at her husband!

The lazy option because he didn’t make the sandwiches, wow better LTB 🙄

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 20:02

Caitl995 · 15/03/2026 20:00

Yes it explains why some of us don’t eat overpriced shite stuffed with preservatives and salt. Excuse us and our desire to live a long and healthy life and to ensure our children eat well and feel well as a result and our expectations for any more than absolute bare minimum from the people we literally give up our lives to look after 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just imagine having this poster as your mother? Terrifying

TheDenimPoet · 15/03/2026 20:03

The number of threads I've seen today where mothers have dictated what needs to happen regarding gifts, celebrations etc. Doesn't that defeat the object?

Why does it matter who made the sandwiches? Work smarter, not harder.

You are being ungrateful. Do NOT make your DD feel guilty about this.

Granddama · 15/03/2026 20:03

They really thought you would appreciate such a treat. I know I would.....But then I HATE MAKING SANDWICHES! Perhaps they thought you did too. They actually asked you what you wanted, you get what you asked for.

Rainyoctobers · 15/03/2026 20:03

Ridiculous. I got nothing from my teen 14y daughter apparently they don't give anything as not cool and dated.

LaughingCat · 15/03/2026 20:03

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/03/2026 19:31

Excuse me? I dont think she is BU at all, so dont lump me in with your attempted put down.

I wasn’t. I was going to write:

Over 90% of thousands of Mumsnet users: Yes

But, let’s be honest, that looks a little silly.

sittingonabeach · 15/03/2026 20:04

@Caitl995 would you be expecting them to make the bread too. What about all the fillings, they need to be made from scratch too eg butter, mayonnaise, ham?

Runnermumof2 · 15/03/2026 20:04

I ordered us all a McDonald's 🤣 I definitely think you did well having m&S sandwiches

mussymummy · 15/03/2026 20:04

You are very ungrateful and your daughter will have picked up on your princess behaviour mood and you have ruined the day. She will remember this. Super ungrateful