Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

Would you like to know what I got for Mother’s Day today? A card. Signed by my 5 year old which was lovely, but completely negating the fact I also have a 6 month old baby. It was like he didn’t exist. I went to Tesco this morning, bought my own flowers and some bacon to cook my own bacon sandwich.

I would have loved for my husband to have gone out and bought some sandwiches etc. anything so I didn’t have to cook myself. I know this has really upset you, but I do think you need some perspective on this. At least you got something. Some of us didn’t.

Right!! Imagine getting so hysterical over some shop bought sandwiches 😭

No but I do understand wanting made rather than processed.

Everyone ready to tear everyone down here. I think OP is allowed to be a bit disappointed. When you have an idea in mind and it doesn’t come true. But also OP I got actually nothing at all and I’m also quite upset so maybe something is better than nothing xxx

You're being ridiculous

Whaaaaat?! You had to order the Maccy Dees yourself?! How have you not excommunicated your partner and kids? 🤣

I miss those days to be honest.

i haven’t read the full thread but i really struggle to relate to all the fuss around Mother’s Day.

My own (virtually mute these days) 13 year old got me a box of maltesers and a card that he’d written something really lovely in and I was so shocked and pleased that he’d even thought to do that.

Can I just say, a box of maltesers are far superior to a bag! Do you agree and can you explain why?

M&S sandwiches are elite, stop sounding so entitled - they are doing what you asked while making this easier

But processed cake and sausage rolls are ok?

Blimey you are lucky they have put that much effort in! For my birthday (yesterday) my youngest daughter not only did nothing no card, no present she didnt even acknowledge the day ditto Mothers Day and that was despite me looking after all three grandsons from 6am to 10pm so she could go to a competition; and substantial amount of child care every week including all the school runs, getting the kids ready for school and taking them to extra curricular. luckily her two sibliings were lovely so the weekend was not a wash out

For what it's worth @Wrongsideof50 I agree with you. I'd feel upset that I usually spend a lot of time in the kitchen making things from scratch because I care about them eating well. It's the lack of effort on their part to reciprocate that would bug me. Also I think it's a waste of money to pay ££ for ready made sandwiches when you can make them yourself.

I just understand the desire for home made , do you not?

I would never show her or tell her that it’s not good enough

Yet.....

but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow!

Because in your eyes she's not good enough as "she knows we you? cook from scratch.
Buying M and S sandwiches she might have thought that would make a nice change yet here you are going out and buying other stuff and undermining her choices.
If I was her I wouldn't feel inclined to bother at all next year in case you picked and moaned then as well!

I find the whole concept of mother's day ridiculous, quite honestly (and yes, I'm a mum to a 20 yo and a 14 yo). To actually go to the effort of telling your daughter what you want from her on mother's day encapsulates the whole ridiculousness of the concept, in my view.
Yes, OP, I'm sorry but you are being unreasonable. She did her best, and all you gave her in return was ingratitude.

I think Mother's Day should just go in the bin, tbh. The whole idea that my children should be grateful for me parenting them when I chose to bring them into the world is bonkers. Bring them up knowing how to respect others and treat people well - not how to be entitled and unreasonable. If my kids want to buy me a gift or treat me, they're more than welcome to (or not) at any point of the year, and not just because they feel obliged to because of some age-old marketing ploy.
Sorry, that was a huge rant, but Mother's Day and Father's Day really annoy me.

She had me when she asked you what you wanted for Mothers Day …

Enough said.

I think that's the OPs whole point, she models behaviour caring for her family all year. I don't think it's the OP wanting material things, it's about feeling valued.

Yet she's happy for the cakes, scones and sausage rolls to be shop bought. Most odd.

Some of you have really really low expectations of your family.

Had to ask mum what she would like for Mother's Day. Then bought ready made stuff so they didn't have to make sandwiches?! And being disappointed in that is apparently PRINCESS behaviour?!

Would you mothers on here do the same if your child asked for help doing a father's day lunch spread?

We have no idea what behaviour she models all year. The response to her 13 year old daughter's efforts doesn't sound like great modelling of behaviour to me.
Anyway, that girl has definitely got the message from Mum about Mother's Day.

When I was younger my mum was always really disappointed with presents and terrible at hiding it. I asked what she wanted because I didn't want to feel like I was always getting it wrong. Maybe there's something in that here for all we know.

I hate ready made sandwiches generally but I'd not be disappointed with the effort.

OP, you sound awful. I’m actually not even sure if this post can be for real!

Your child needs to work on their skills? What a nasty post. Do you know how ungrateful you sound? There are women sat at home today who haven’t been able to be mums for many reasons… and you’re moaning about sandwiches. Get a grip. Count yourself lucky.

It’s a bit of a first world problem OP. Be thankful for your loving DD/DH and that you have nothing more serious to worry about 😊 Happy Mother’s Day 💐

That is an awful feeling, and it lives with you. Just a bit of parental sensitivity and kindness goes a long way. There are some sad stories on this thread.