Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

Would you get pissy with your 13 year old dd if they did get you a McDonald burger?

I think you are BU to be honest, and rather ungrateful . They’ve made the effort to go out and buy the things necessary for a nice afternoon tea for you and you’re grumbling because the sandwiches are ready made. I’ve just been out to my nieces house for a similar thing and the sandwiches were from M &. S, the variety was nice and they were all very tasty.

Unfortunately, they have mayonnaise as the spread. Far better to make at home.

You have many many years of mothers days so relax she is young enjoy the effort bless them.x

I’d take M&S sandwiches over home made any day. The image you had in your head was yours, they were never going to do it exactly the same so either be grateful that they tried or do it yourself.

1st, they wouldn't because I don't eat that shit, 2nd, there is nowhere where this woman has said she was pissy with her 13 year old, she's just come on mumsnet to have a bit of a moan...

Oh and 3rd, if I found out my husband had said "buy McDs" knowing I don't eat it, YES I WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO HIM.

The woman did all but draw a map of what she wanted, yet somehow didn't get it!

ps OP, that was such a lovely idea for Mother's Day!

Doesn’t Marks do a sandwich platter - so a nice variety of different sandwiches already cut into little triangles. That sounds lovely to me! Plus far fewer ingredients to buy and you still get a nice selection.

Even bought sandwiches and going
to buy these things is more than I ever get. I didn’t get a card this year (I have 3 kids…), my daughter made everything herself at night when she’s supposed to be asleep (she told me), my 2 year old his dad had given him a paintbrush and he’d literally painted for 2 seconds and his dad wrote on it 😂 and that’s it.
my 16 year old is at his dads currently but I’m holding out no hope for a card or present.
ive spent the day looking after the children while my partner puts up a new shed, intermittently helping him. There’s been no special lunch or dinner, although I was woken up by them with a coffee and a fruit salad. ☺️ which was lovely to be presented with. But yeah, genuinely I love him, but my partner is absolute utter shit on Mother’s Day and I would absolutely cry with joy if I ever received something as lovely as bought sandwiches cakes etc as an at home afternoon tea.
but I get we all have different expectations. My partner is so shit that being woken up this morning with a coffee in bed with my children means I was grateful because even that simple thing has rarely happened 😂
ive been a parent for 16 years but 8.5 years of it I was a single parent. And I had so many expectations when we moved in together and had my daughter, and it was so disappointing. It’s taken so many years to get to the stage where I even have a cup of
cpffee in bed 🙈 it’s awful.

Quite simply you sound a nightmare! Even all these comments telling you your been unreasonable you still wont listen.

I like the “lol” lol.

You sound shrill.
Like your high-pitched anger has got the better of you over something pretty trivial.
I mean, sandwiches are sandwiches.
They’re giving you sandwiches for Mother’s Day, aren’t they?
Why, yes ma’am, they certainly are.
Big picture: you asked for and are receiving sandwiches.
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
And remember: It’s the thought that counts.

Happy Mother’s Day to you and all the other very good mums - I’m sending you all love ❤️

Scary stuff!

"I get treated like shit, so you should be grateful for anything at all!!"

FFS....some women have such a low bar. Does MN stand for Martyr Net now?!

From my view your 13 year old and hubby went out and about to get fancy sandwiches cakes etc from M & S for you. I always think marks sandwiches are fancy so would have been thrilled to get them lol. I think it was a decent enough effort and wouldn’t it be a nicer day to say thank you and give them a hug and say the sandwiches look wonderful and tuck in?

Urgh - 'tuck in'

You should be counting your blessings that you are lucky enough to have a DC to celebrate Mother's Day with you. Try being in the shoes of those of us who were unable to have children. YABVU.😡

We had friends round for afternoon tea last year and used shop-bought sandwiches. They were more interesting than we would have made and meant there was a lot more variety. I'd have been shocked if they'd complained.

Life is knackering, kids are exhausted, especially teens doing exams or at college and working, parents are worn out parenting and working, you’re lucky they wanted to do something so lovely for you at a level they felt comfortable with.
m&s is lovely food, they probably thought it’s a luxury treat for afternoon tea

No wonder women don't feel valued if these views are widespread. I don't believe it though - a few years ago there would have been more humour in the replies, even if critical. The tone is a bit off across the piece here.

You asked for an afternoon tea at home. Did you mention you wanted home made sandwiches?

One day, when you have something real to worry about, you’ll long for the days when this was what you cared about.

This 100%. I could tell you what I'm going through but you would think it's fiction. Get a grip rather than asking us to slag off your kid.

You said it yourself.... It's just a sandwich.

Get. A. Grip.

Awk, wise up.

I think YABU! M&S food is absolute god tier food, those sandwiches will be delicious cut up! I think it’s a clever idea, freshly made M&S sandwiches would have made it beautiful! It was a clever idea.

So ungrateful! Your poor daughter ☹️