Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

I’d take Marks pre-made sandwiches over homemade any day

They made effort. It might not have been what you wanted exactly but you’re overreacting.

It's the lack of thoughts and effort that would annoy me.....

I think you’re being ungrateful to be honest, your daughter is doing a nice thing for you and you are basically telling her it’s not up to scratch!

With the ready made you'll get more variety if there's only 3 of you. Wouldn't bother me at all.

Ungrateful

Do you truly think that your 13 year old could use the contents of your fridge to make a nicer sandwich than one from M&S?

You sound ridiculous.

This.

It's not a gift if you dictate the terms.
You may be disappointed but she will be even more so if you let her know how just how ungrateful you are.
Next time she might not bother at all.

I think M&S sandwiches sound lovely! They're generally very nice. A homemade sandwich is hardly some great treat, it's just a normal Monday or Tuesday sort of food. Agree with pp by buying pre-made you can probably have a bigger selection without having to buy large amounts of ingredients which would be left over.

Makes perfect sense to me.

If they took you out for a cream tea they wouldn't have made that either.

This is one of the most ludicrous posts I’ve seen recently. Catch yourself on and stop being such an unbearable princess. It’s not like they’ve got afternoon tea by dumpster diving!

Jesus Christ woman

I think it's a mismatch of expectation. You took 'make me an afternoon tea' to mean 'make me all of the elements of an afternoon tea', but your DD (and presumably your DH) took it to mean 'make me an afternoon tea - but no restrictions on where the elements come from.'

Perhaps if you'd said 'make me a MD cake' and they'd bought one it would have been different, but I think it was just different concepts.

You're getting an afternoon tea, I'd just take that and be grateful.

Wow ok lots of ladies out today ready to tear me down! Yes I do think my DD could make just as good if not better sandwiches than M&S ..they are just sandwiches lol!
as a family we don’t eat ready meals, I make everything from scratch so hence my disappointment..anyone can make a decent sandwich and if you can’t even do that you need to work on your skills in my opinion..

Princess behaviour from you.

Your daughter might well have thought it would be even more special to treat you to fancy M&S sandwiches to go with all the other goodies they’ve bought, and be looking forward to your reaction when she puts it all out tomorrow. I agree with PP that if you make any kind of issue over her not making the sandwiches you will come across as very ungrateful and will totally take the shine off your daughter trying to spoil you.

So are you now going to be a moody arse tomorrow?

Well you’re hoping we will tear down your teen daughter

zero effort, zero imagination, gutted. They did put effort and imagination in though, they used their imagination to buy ready made sandwiches and put the effort in choosing fillings you like.

anyone can make a decent sandwich and if you can’t even do that you need to work on your skills in my opinion..

There’s no need for rudeness just because people don’t agree with you.

I can't actually believe some people.... you've gone out and bought rolls, so you plan on telling your 13yr old what she has planned is not good enough.

Do you really think this is appropriate?

You could get yourself some actual problems.

Hopefully they’ve brought the extra nice sandwiches, rather than plain ham and cheese. If so, I wouldn’t complain.