Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

No. She’s complaining about her H and daughter. People here have reduced it to just her daughter so they can bitch about OP. Her H has been selectively edited out of their narrative for this purpose.

My post was not spiteful in any way!!
OP does say she cooks from scratch and that is her decision to do that for her family. It doesn’t make her any less ungrateful about the situation. Her DD with the help of her dad is doing something nice for her.

I'm with OP. It's a bit shit, really. Zero effort.

Don’t give a hoot about the husband as he’s a grown asses adult rather than a young teen who’s mother is basically asking posters to bitch about

She gave you exactly what you asked for. Fancy tea things like you’d buy in a restaurant. Somehow I think nothing she does is ever good enough.

Your post literally asked "Lack of thought? Or am I being ungrateful?" and the answers were mainly "no" to the first part and "yes" to the second.That is not people tearing you down, it's you having a strop because you didn't get the response that you wanted.

Exactly, he’s a grown ass adult who should know his wife well enough to direct their daughter in the simple task of making a sandwich he knows his wife will like.

M&S sandwiches are lovely, and you can have a variety of fillings without having to buy lots of ingredients, which then get wasted.
This is a lovely treat, OP, and your child is trying to do something nice for you.... so stop being pious about all this "from scratch" nonsense, and show her that you are bloody grateful!

I would love a teenage DC to go to M&S and pick out food they thought I would enjoy

But rather than seeing this as a lovely gesture you’re being all Hyacinth Bouquet and sneering because she’s not bought a cut loaf.

Talk about ungrateful and judging your own child - just wow.

As my old gran would say get down off that cross they need the wood

I'd be delighted with an m&s home presented afternoon tea.

It really is. And zero effort that says, ‘ I know nothing about you’.

Always home cooked

he could well have thought M&S food was a a bit of a treat

I wouldn't bother to do anything next year if I was your daughter.

It's not even Mothers' Day yet and you're already showing her why it's not worth bothering to try and please you.

My mother was like you. Nothing we ever did was good enough. We tried so hard to please her, but every Mother' Day, birthday and Christmas was the same. She'd spend the day sulking and telling us how ungrateful we were for everything we did for her.

She's lucky if I can be arsed to send her a card nowadays and strangely, she doesn't complain any more. It seems like the more effort we make, the more she punishes us.

So you would have had no idea of that conversation hadn't happened?
What's the issue?

U and controlling.

But his wife told their daughter she wanted fancy sandwiches like you’d buy in a cafe or restaurant. His wife literally told her to buy everything. If she wanted it made at home she should have said.

He might not realise exactly how up her arse about shop bought sandwiches OP is. I'd struggle to think of anyone who would have an issue with this honestly, so she's really going some. I can't flip it into 'what a terrible husband he must be' territory.

You want to play the victim when you are just wrong. Mother’s Day success doesnt equal an overly prescribed day. It’s about celebrating your mother - however kids and dad want to do this.

They are celebrating you. You are being very unreasonable and frankly acting like a brat.

Read the room. We aren’t tearing down we are pointing out your obvious entitlement.

Well you're rude for a start because others have different ideas to you.
If I was your d I would be disaapointed with your reaction and probably wouldn't bother in a hurry in future.

Just make sure you go to the same low effort or less for Father’s Day.

Yes you are being ungrateful and overreacting. HTH.
this sort of huffy crap is one of the many reasons I insist on not marking mothering sunday.

I reckon he’s prob love some M&S treats for father’s day

Then maybe OP shouldn’t bother with her family if the family take your advice and don’t bother with OP.

If you continue the way you are going you won’t need to worry about it in a few years time as your daughter will have stopped trying to make an effort that isn’t appreciated. That’s not me trying to tear you down, just pointing out the likely outcome of your behaviour.

God help you if you ever encounter a real issue in your life.