Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

Thoughts and prayers OP

Laughing emoji needed!

Am I the only one now drooling at the thought of an M&S prawn sandwich?

Your poor daughter.

You're being ridiculous. People don't have to make everything from scratch just because you do. Why can't you enjoy having the tea with her rather than getting your kicks from her making a sandwich? If making a sandwich is no big deal, why make it one? A few M&S readymade sandwiches aren't some love crime.

I honestly think if you wanted thought and effort, you shouldn’t have dictated what you wanted your DD to do and then get in a huff if it wasn’t exactly what you wanted.

i don’t get involved in Mother’s Day plans unless we’re including my own mum. DS has planned it all himself this year, it’s not entirely what I would prefer to do, but I’m very proud of him for planning it all himself, so I will be nothing but grateful!

I’m going to get jack shit tomorrow - my DH is autistic and useless at anything that involves empathetic planning, my kids are too young to do it themselves and I’ve spent the night in a&e my youngest who is really ill and I haven’t slept in 32 hours.

Please just enjoy your sandwiches. Your family love you and make an effort to show it you, in a way that works for them.

You sound like a line manager criticising an employee, not a mother speaking about her daughter.

Surely she thought that would be a change then, and they're putting together the afternoon tea as a whole? Getting together the sandwiches, scones and whatever? That sounds like a nice effort made, it's not as if she's wrapping up a random single sandwich as your gift.

What a crock of shit. It's some nice quality sandwiches, not a couple of dry crusts and slice of mouldy cake. Christ, if I was the husband and daughter I'd be tempted to tell her to shove it up her arse and eat the lot between us.

Why are factory made sausage rolls ok but not factory produced sandwiches ?
I feel you’re being ungrateful,she listened to you and is doing what you fancied for Mother’s Day.

Poor daughter

My advice is to enjoy whatever your daughter chooses to do. Show you appreciate that she prepares food and wants to please you. How is she to know you look down on supermarket sandwiches ?
We cook from scratch and my dds would see it is a special treat to buy them from Markies and would be proud of their decision.

Calm down, be grateful and show your daughter her choices are valid

Your choice to make everything from scratch, your daughter may be different to you?

She may think you’re being a martyr, I wouldn’t disagree.

I don't think your child has done anything wrong.

My dd offered to do lunch for tomorrow but I said I would prefer a fancy tea. I will be very surprised if she has made any of it, but if she has it will be little cakes ( she does a nice lemon drizzle fairy cake ) not sandwiches.

Making a selection of sandwiches is a faff, different breads or little rolls to buy, planning the different fillings and garnishes etc, and technically it’s actually easier to do it for a load of people than for three otherwise you run the risk of having lots of the ingredients you have bought left over in sad little Tupperware heaps in your fridge.Though on the upside you would have really good packed lunches next week🙂

Gutted.

M&S sandwiches would feel like a treat to me! You asked for sandwiches, you got sandwiches. Is it really a big deal that she’s not putting a bit of cheese and cucumber in a roll? It’s not as though you can keep them like you would a handmade card or drawing

Lazy would be them rushing out to the Tesco express tomorrow when they haven’t got you anything. I also cook from scratch so at 13 ready made food from M&S would be seen as a treat by my kids. You are being very controlling - I bet she wants to lay it out all nicely for you. You need to reflect why you need to control what they do so tightly and why this is upsetting you so much.

As for ‘ stop criticising you daughter’. She did this with her Dad. It’s really on him to have directed this to what he knew his wife really wanted. He should know her well enough. But he didn’t. That’s what hurt.

As for ‘ stop criticising you daughter’. She did this with her Dad. It’s really on him to have directed this to what he knew his wife really wanted. He should know her well enough. But he didn’t. That’s what hurt.

My mum used to pull this type of thing every Mother’s Day and birthday, nothing was ever good enough for her so we stopped bothering and now I haven’t seen her for years. I’d probably consider whether this is a hill worth dying on or if you want your daughter to enjoy spending time with you and feel good after your interactions.

Oh leave them both alone fgs

everything is always home cooked. M&S is likely viewed by them as a treat / indulgence

Wow what a princess you are. I feel sorry for your daughter and husband.

They made a effort. You’re being ridiculous.

What is with the over-dramatics from OPs today?!

Nobody is tearing you down, @Wrongsideof50 ffs. You're being precious about pre-made sandwiches, people will rightly tell you so if you ask.

Would you rather everyone slated your teenage daughter?