AIBU to think our 18 year olds should work instead of wasting away weekends?

[Roxen]

First of all, I know they are 18 so I have no control over this, it’s more about the debate between DH and I.

DH and I have twins who are 18, in their last year of school, they are doing IB diploma so it’s quite intense, has a lot involved in it, exams start at the end of April and run through May.

We agreed to neither of them having part time jobs as between their studies and the extra things they have to do they wouldn’t have time. However this weekend I’m feeling quite annoyed about that, as neither of them are going to do anything remotely related to school.

Last night they went to a friends birthday party, got home at about 2am, they then along with DD sat up for the F1 sprint race. Went to sleep for a few hours woke back up for qualifying and went to sleep again afterwards. Now they have all gone to the pub where they will stay all day for the 6 nations matches. DD has said when she gets home she will watch the Indian wells tennis semi-finals, before going to sleep and waking up for the F1 tomorrow. They then all have tickets for a football game tomorrow, before going out for dinner with school friends.

I think this is a stupid amount of time to spend doing very little over a whole weekend, I don’t really enjoy watching sports but my kids do and I increasingly feel it takes up all of their time. DH thinks it’s fine, it’s culture and they can study another weekend. I think if they have the time to waste a weekend away in front of the TV, they have time to take on a part time job.

AIBU?

Do you work at the weekend or are you ‘wasting away weekends’? This is certainly the age to treat them with a bit more respect- you’re now transitioning to building a relationship as a parent with an adult child. Not respecting their small decisions at this stage, like how they spend their free time (while in work or education), they won’t be as open with you later.

I always supported my kids needs. Their WANTS however are you to them

Nonsense. I did my a levels at evening class after working during the day and got grade As

My kids have all had jobs since 16 while in education.

The weekend wasn't wasted though. They were doing something they wanted to do. Why's that a waste?

To everyone saying they got part time jobs as soon as they turned 16, things are very different now. Very few employers will take on 16 year olds because their insurers won’t let them. I think it is safeguarding issues re employing minors. It’s hard enough finding businesses that will offer work experience now because of this. I myself did casual work in commercial greenhouses at 16. Those businesses won’t take on under 18s now.

Both my dc had jobs from 15 pert time. Ds carried on working throughout uni and ds19 worked throughout his A levels. None of their jobs were glamorous think pot washing but it has certainly helped them socially, financially and with ds25 having great skills in his cv.

How old are they all and what were they doing? I saw you mention earlier that one was 16 during covid.

Yes that was the youngest. He was at college at the time and worked ever since through college and uni. The other 2 are quite a bit older, one was doing A levels and the other hairdressing at college. As for the jobs 2 at McDonald's and another one at Wimpy Before 16 the older two had paper rounds, one a weekly paper and the other and evening paper mon- fri

So when has this changed

Thanks for clarifying.

This means you're talking about hugely different climates to 2026. Even in the most recent example, covid was a time when the workforce shrunk in quite a short space of time. Those conditions are not replicated now.

I think it's just sort of a gradual process. Several things have happened over time.

We've got a cultural idea of childhood as going on longer, and expect much more in the way of safeguarding than we used to. The requirement to stay in education or training until 18 in England has been in since 2015. Until the 00s, it didn't used to be uncommon for people to leave school after GCSEs and go straight into full time work- I'm an elder millennial from a working class area and I knew quite a few people who did this in the early to mid 00s. So having people that age in the workplace was normal.

Then there's been a rise in the real terms value of NMW over a lengthy period, which has meant lower skilled people of all age groups often find it harder to cover the costs of employing them, iyswim. The sort of jobs 16 year old weekend workers often used to do, like shelf stacking and tills, are less likely to just allow you to be in that one niche now. Someone mentioned upthread that supermarket workers more typically have to be familiar with tills, stacking and self service supervision. Harder to get that proficiency in 8 hours a week. And a lot of those sectors are shrinking anyway. We all know what's happened to the High Street.

Oh my DS and his mates had jobs from 2020 as 16 year olds

Sure, I can see how covid and the associated policy ramifications opened up some opportunities there.

Yes, indeed, there was a "bulge" in jobs due to covid as supermarkets were short staffed as they needed to quickly ramp up online and click/collect shopping, more staff to control queues, staff to replace older/vulnerable staff who couldn't risk going to work, etc.

That was six years ago. Things have changed!

And irrelevant to DS job in McDonald's

And if it was a COVID thing how comes they were still working once it was over. By the time DS was 18 the COVID tuff was finished

But what one needs is not always what another needs.
Who decides that?
Some consider paying for their bus pass a luxury. Some consider buying a car a luxury.
Its not set in stone.

Basic Clothes/ toiletries travel to school/ college, food ( not takeaways) are needs. Pretty much everything else is wants

In your opinion.

I do think from reading threads like this one that there are alder huge regional differences in young people's ability towards get jobs. We are in Wales and all of dc friends have all had jobs from 16.

Well tell me what else is strictly NECESSARY to survive and get educated. Like in what you can't do without( not nice to have)

Wrong- DC need friends at that age!

What's friends got to do with it? You don't buy those

You completely missed my point. It's about instilling a work ethics. They are adults. Plenty of part time jobs out there.

I've not missed your point at all and I agree that instilling work ethic is vital. My point is that there really aren't "plenty of part time jobs out there" in lots of towns, especially the run down regions etc. As said above, maybe in a big city there are plenty of part time jobs, but in my town, we don't even have a McDonalds.

If there were plenty of jobs, we wouldn't have a million unemployed NEETS plus lots of students without jobs, not to mention lots of adults without jobs. Unemployment is at a 5 year high at the moment.