AIBU to think our 18 year olds should work instead of wasting away weekends?

[Roxen]

First of all, I know they are 18 so I have no control over this, it’s more about the debate between DH and I.

DH and I have twins who are 18, in their last year of school, they are doing IB diploma so it’s quite intense, has a lot involved in it, exams start at the end of April and run through May.

We agreed to neither of them having part time jobs as between their studies and the extra things they have to do they wouldn’t have time. However this weekend I’m feeling quite annoyed about that, as neither of them are going to do anything remotely related to school.

Last night they went to a friends birthday party, got home at about 2am, they then along with DD sat up for the F1 sprint race. Went to sleep for a few hours woke back up for qualifying and went to sleep again afterwards. Now they have all gone to the pub where they will stay all day for the 6 nations matches. DD has said when she gets home she will watch the Indian wells tennis semi-finals, before going to sleep and waking up for the F1 tomorrow. They then all have tickets for a football game tomorrow, before going out for dinner with school friends.

I think this is a stupid amount of time to spend doing very little over a whole weekend, I don’t really enjoy watching sports but my kids do and I increasingly feel it takes up all of their time. DH thinks it’s fine, it’s culture and they can study another weekend. I think if they have the time to waste a weekend away in front of the TV, they have time to take on a part time job.

AIBU?

God forbid they have downtime....

All my friends teens have jobs, restaurants, cleaning, McDonald's, supermarket. I know it's harder now but you just need to keep applying. There are loads of caring jobs. Lots of firms prefer taking on youngsters as they can work evenings and weekends as they don't have their own caring responsibilitys.

I don’t get time to relax, I work full time and weekends are spent cooking, cleaning, washing etc 🤷‍♀️

When my dd isn’t at college or work she is relaxing or seeing friends (because I’m doing all the other stuff that has to happen!)

Plus college isn’t 9-5 five days a week.

When I was a teen myself and all my friends had Saturday jobs, it was completely normal. I also don’t agree there are no jobs out there, if your young person really wants a job they will find one.

I think there’s a lot of parents enabling lazy teens on this thread tbh.

They´ll be working till they drop at least until they are 70. Leave them alone!

My kids are in full time education. 9 until 3:30. A Levels, not IB so I won't pretend to know the workload of that. They have plenty of downtime and they have part time jobs.

It comes down to wealth as usual. If you can afford to support your kids through their education (a couple of my friends have uni kids who have never had a job) then not working is a real option.
And from upthread I have seen that some recruiters do value sports clubs and extra curriculars more than working in the chippy, so I think you might be right that they are at an advantage.

I can afford to support my kids - just about. But it makes me happy to see things they buy with their own money, hear my older one planning his summer holiday with friends and they know they don't have to come to me every time they want to play crazy golf or have some food with friends.

IB is very full on. Especially the last year. Down time is important. They could get a summer job after their exams.

Maybe you should start relaxing too and reassess your priorities...

Because it is really sad that your life philosophy seems to be " If I have no leasure time, then nobody else should have any fun".

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

A levels should be 9-5 five days a week (at least) if DC are aiming for top grades.

I work full time and make sure i get time to relax. Maybe you need help with your time management skills?
Beats me how anyone thinks not having a pt job because they have a huge workload in college means enabling lazyness? How silly.
My dd eg worked on her FYP morning noon and night. Not sure how that makes her lazy. She did get top of her grade though and walked into a job paying 60k at 23 so i think she will be ok.
Is it resentment makes people think like this?

@Greenwitchartthat isn’t my philosophy 🤷‍♀️ my dd goes to college and manages a pt job and still manages plenty of time for doing nothing/socialising. I am currently sitting in my garden with a cuppa (although gearing up to mow the lawn) so do find time to relax.

As pp said this comes down in the most part to money, if you’re willing and able to give your kids a decent amount of pocket money and buy them all the extras as well then fine. I could afford to give my dd a small allowance and she got extras for bday and Christmas, if she wanted a new pair of expensive trainers or similar she needed to earn some money likewise if she wants to go out with her mates.

Im a single parent so will have less money and down time that couples I guess.

MN is a funny place though because all of my friends and family with teens have part time jobs, it would be more unusual for a teen not to work. All of DDs friends work as well.

When we were 14 , myself and about half the girls in my year all got Saturday jobs in Woolworths. They were the best times. We earned £4.20 for a whole Saturday - in those days it was a kings ransom. I then left school at 16 and went to work in a solicitors just off Chancery lane in London. I have worked all my life, and instilled that in my children, they all work hard and also from about 14. To have adults laying around the house, not earning a bean is teaching them absolutely nothing. Get them off their lazy backsides and out in the real world.

Jesus this is dreadful

It's impossible for half a school year group to get Saturday jobs in Woolworths these days! Have you seen the state of most town's "High Streets". The big chains that employed loads of people have all gone, i.e. Woolies, C&A, Littlewoods, Debenhams, BHS, etc. The few chains that have survived like Boots, M&S, etc only run a skeleton staff due to self serve tills, NMW, Ers NIC rises, etc. Same with supermarkets - they don't have "Saturday" staff - again, staff numbers greatly depleted and they're all day operations with staff multi tasking between picking online shopping, stacking shelves, supervising the self service tills etc.

It shouldn’t be about willing in my view. Parents need to understand that they have a responsibility to support their DC while in education.

That doesn’t mean buying Prada handbags, but I would certainly expect parents to fund reasonable socialising costs at this age.

You also can't be properly employed by most of the big chains until you get a NI number at 16. No shops legitimately hire 14 year olds. You need a permit to work via the council, signed by the school.

My DH used to work at 14 but they paid cash under the table. You couldn't do that now.

There is also more H&S laws about children working, i.e. restrictions on children working in commercial kitchens, restrictions on the hours children can work, etc.

Why is it dreadful

Maybe because it was responding to a poster who is living in a by gone era with seemingly no appreciation as to the realities of the modern working World, nor the FACT we have a million unemployed young people which doesn't include all the students still in education. It's "dreadful" that people don't realise just how few jobs there are available for students these days.

They'll be telling us that today's kids should get paper rounds next - completely oblivious to the fact that barely anyone gets newspapers delivered anymore and there are very few newsagents shops either!

There's supporting kids through education and buying luxuries. 2 different things

The entire mindset of it. The narrowmindedness of it. The unkindness of it. The thoughtlessness of it. The lack of understanding of what young people today have to contend with in todays society.
None of which working 50 years ago at 14 has anything to do with.
I mean, in what world is being made to work at FOURTEEN something to boast about.
And the Poster also "went straight to work".
Unlike the OPs kids who are in college.
I mean, pls. I know which id prefer for my kids.

Depends on your idea of luxuries really doesnt it.

Both my kids had paper rounds in the last four years.
Many of their friends had/still have them now.

I would totally recommend it to kids where I live, but obviously I am not sure about other parts of the country. And of course, less people read papers than in bygone years so probably smaller rounds than "back in the day".

I don’t know anyone who still reads physical newspapers.

I know loads though admittedly they are all older people. My mum and inlaws get a weekly paper delivered.
One of my DC had a sheltered housing/care home on his route - that was quite a handy drop off as he got a drop a few heavy papers quickly.

Exactly this. It was just an incredibly stupid post, from someone who clearly has no idea of the realities of the job market for teens in 2026, but also hasn't the wherewithal to know they don't know.