AIBU to think parents decorating brother’s new house is overstepping?

[Firewizard]

I have my own views on this but am often shouted down and seen as weird so looking for outside opinions.

My brother is 31 and has recently moved house. He’s single but got a steady girlfriend he’s been with for a year or so. The house is a bit of a do-er upper so he has made a start with cleaning and some simple decorating.
My parents went to visit him last week to see the house for the first time. They have been decorating while he is at work all day and then goes to the gym or sees his girlfriend in the evening, doing tip runs and deep cleaning his appliances and flooring.

They were also very involved in the buying process, calling the solicitors and estate agents to chase them up. They said they were just helping as my brother is very busy at work during the day.

Is this normal family help or does this leak into the realms of overstepping? My brother is very happy for them to do this because he is quite lazy and it means he doesn’t have to do it!

A friend had us ask to restring her son’s instrument when he was 15 years old. If you can’t do that yourself at that age (especially with the LOADS of internet guidance available these days), you’re not serious about your instrument and your mum’s babying you and enabling your ineptitude.

Not in 1984. I bought a flat in London for 24k in 1983, so could easily imagine a doer upper going for 5k in other parts uk

As for OP DH has helped painting and decorating and electrics with both my DCs properties they have bought as single people, as have all my friends helped their dc Its perfectly normal

Haven’t read the full thread but just wanted to say I understand what you’re saying, especially as the eldest daughter. We’re typically raised to be independent while the younger sons are raised the opposite. My parents help my brother a lot and I don’t have a problem with it, but my approach is different. I’m happy doing everything myself and find it hard asking for help unless there’s no other way! We were just raised different (my parents would disagree)

Yes it would be very normal in my family. Everyone pulls together plus my parents are retired (late 60’s) and my dad is very handy so he’s always doing DIY jobs for all of us.

Where's the 'pulling together' if his parents are doing all the work whilst hes at the gym and going on dates with his girlfriend?!

He’s got a steady girlfriend of over a year yet he’s single??

Helping with decorating, just about fine. Ringing solicitors and estate agents - overinvolved.

My parents did loads for us when we moved. Just as we did for them as they got old. .

I wish I lived near enough to DS2 to help with decorating but fortunately his partner's parents live nearby and have helped out. I did help with advice during the purchase process as first time buyers there were a lot of questions and pitfalls.
I live closer to DS1 and do his garden for him because neither he nor his partner are keen and they appreciate my help.

It's called being a family

I have helped one daughter. She works hard but is not very handy. We love helping her. Part of family life. Tbe other daughter is more practical and enjoys decorating and DIY. So no need for help. But we would help if she asked .overstepping is doing stuff uninvited. Anyhow it isnt any of OP business any relationship between her pare ts and brother.She obviously has a low opinion of him.
But he seems to work hard and has a job so he cant be that bad!

@Firewizard

Not so much overstepping as welcomed by him, although calling the solicitor and whatnot, yes, not their place.

DEFINITELY enabling and feeding into his manchild syndrome and uselessness however 🙄

In my world I cannot understand the issue. As parents we have been very involved with helping our children with DIY ,car problems ,childcare ,giving advice etc . Absolutely no regrets for being supportive and caring towards our adult children.
And yes they can think for themselves!!!