To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

[iamjustgutted]

Gutted about this.

I spent admittedly far too much on a Mother’s Day photo shoot. Had it today and was awful. Kids not playing ball at all; ds wild and charging around like a complete lunatic, dd whiny and refusing to do anything she was asked.

I know it’s just kids etc but I can’t lie; I’m gutted.

I’d hold out hope until you see the photos.

I remember taking Ds for a photoshoot for his 1st birthday. I spent an absolute fortune on it and he was a nightmare from start to finish! He did nothing but moan and cry and I remember feeling so down that I’d spent so much on these pictures and none of them would be nice but when the photographer sent them there were some beauties in there. To this day I don’t know how she managed it!

I’m very sorry that you lost your mum so young and I can completely understand your desire to create these lasting photographs with you for your own children 💐

Oh OP, I totally get it. I’d have been sad about this I’m really sorry it didn’t work out for you.
Sometimes it would be nice for someone to put in the effort to get some lovely candid photos of you with them (without you having to nag and ask), and for someone to put the same effort into getting a photo as I’m sure you do for others.

I didn't read the post as comparing you to the poster's daughter; more using an example to illustrate the point she was making, that you'd maybe come on here looking to vent rather than seek advice. I thought it was a kind post, giving you the opportunity to say, yes everyone, stop with the advice, I've had a horrible day and I just wanted to offload about it. I'd just posted that I thought it was natural to feel upset after you'd organised something special which you were looking forward to and instead it went horribly wrong. We've all been there and I was feeling every sympathy with you. I didn't think your response to someone who was trying to be kind and helpful was warranted.

Honestly OP, it makes total sense that you’re gutted. You didn’t just spend £80 on a photoshoot — you put hope and love into trying to capture something special with your kids. When the day doesn’t match the picture you had in your head, of course it hurts.
And it’s not “silly” or “just kids” like some posters are saying. When you’ve lost your mum young and don’t have many photos with her, moments like this carry a whole extra layer of emotion. You were trying to create something you never got to have, and anyone with that history would feel this really deeply.
Kids being wild, whingey, chaotic — that’s normal. But your feelings about it are normal too. You’re allowed to grieve the version of the day you hoped for. It doesn’t make you ungrateful or dramatic, it just makes you human.
Also, just as a reminder… even Princess Kate, with a palace, stylists, photographers and all the help in the world, ended up photoshopping her Mother’s Day pic with the kids. If even the royal family can’t get a perfect shot, it says nothing about you or your children. Perfect family photos are basically a myth.
Some of the replies on here are honestly a bit harsh. People forget there’s a real person behind the post who’s had a painful loss and was trying to create something meaningful. You’re not being unreasonable at all to feel disappointed.
What happened on the day doesn’t erase the love you were trying to capture. It just means the moment wasn’t ready yet. You can try again another time, maybe in a more relaxed setting, or even get someone to take candid pics of you all just being yourselves. Those often end up being the ones you treasure most anyway.
But for now, it’s ok to just feel sad about it. It mattered to you — that’s why it stings.

Haven’t read all the comments but now my kids are teenagers I wish I’d taken more pics of the more challenging moments like the tantrums and sulks! It’s part of their childhood and it’s actually fun to look back together at when they were playing up! So treasure those pics. And also have them ready to put on a big screen at their wedding day :)

Instead of paying for a photo shoot, buy a good camera and start taking pictures of the children. I did this as my kids were born and I have amazing pictures as my technique improved.

Have you read the thread at all? 😂

@iamjustgutted Truth be told I was going to say that you're being ridiculous getting a photo shoot in the first place but then I read through all your posts and I just want to cry. You wanted something to hold on to the memory of you all together, something you didn't have with your deceased mum. My mum passed before my first dc was born as well and mother's day can be emotional for that reason as well. So sorry OP. You might never laugh about it but atleast you know who to not hire for next photoshoot. Experienced photographers know how to make kids comply by using their imagination and their sense of humour. She shouldn't have accepted to be paid if the photos were shit.

Since this is important to you I'd suggest you try your luck with someone else 💐

Honestly, I will not be doing another photoshoot. It was a waste of time and money. I think it’s just easier to continue as we are, I have a lot of photos of the children and I guess that’s what’s important.

Could you ask their dad to start taking candid pictures of you with the kids? It’s not exactly a big ask

Awe that’s so disappointing.
Have you seen the photos? You may get a good one.

If it helps when my sister got married she asked the photographer to take an individual family picture of mine and my siblings families. I was so grateful as it’s not something we could have afforded.

None of my kids (I’ve x2 girls x2 boys) played ball, one of my sons turned his back and we only have the back of his head. One of my daughters aged about 2 at the time wouldn’t give up her dummy or bottle. The other son looks totally bored, my other daughter is smiling but it’s so forced and she’s got her legs crossed as she needed the toilet 🙈

My siblings photos were perfect. At the time I was so upset. But I’ve a copy of the photo framed and I love it, kids are all in their teens now.
My husband and I look knackered and we are smiling like loons but it’s a snap of the time we were in.

It’s ok to be disappointed and probably a huge effort to get everyone ready and to the place you had the photos taken. It was just the day that was in it x

Don't be ridiculous.

Photograph portraits you see in museums are rare moments.

In 2026 we can take hundreds of photos every day. I've taken 26 today and haven't been at any special event or with any cute babies or toddlers.

We have two photos on my Grandmother (born in the 19th Century) before cameras became more popular in the 2nd half of the 20th Century, from when we still only have a couple of dozen (as before digital) - 1 as a girl and 1 as an adult. She didn't even have photographs at her wedding in the 1920s.
In 2026, with cameras on smart phones which so many of us have on us all the time, and with digital photography so you can take dozens and just choose the best, it is a completely different scenario.

So have a conversation with your dh.
Explain that.
Tell him that you want him to take some photos when your dc are snuggled up with you - at story time, or if you sit and watch a programme together, or when you are playing together one day.

You asking the internet if YABU, then being SO snippy and downright rude to posters who are trying to console you and cheer you up is not helping you at all.

I agree, thats how i read it too.

First post nails it. Thinking back to when mine were small, it would have been an absolute pointless nightmare to get them to behave and sit still long enough to have a nice "hashtag making memories with the famalam" photo shoot 😁
Just enjoy the simple things in life. A bunch of daffodils, a homemade card, and chill out.
If you're wanting photos, try and do it spontaneously when no-one knows you're taking one. More chance of success.

Ok, I get that. I don't really like having my photo taken, I'm not in many if any photos either. I'm usually the one taking photos.
(Trying to remedy that lately though due to personal reasons)
Get somebody to take photos of you with them in a more relaxed environment such as at the beach or down the park. Such as a relative you're out with, a friend, DH/DP or whoever?
A formal photoshoot is recipe for disaster in my experience as small kids are far too whingy and uncooperative 😁

If the photographer specialises in outdoor photoshoots with families then hopefully they are very experienced in working their magic to produce something great. Perhaps not what you had envisaged, but something that captures the chaos of family life in a lovely way.

You haven't lost £80.

The photos will show your kids having fun. We did the same when the kids were 3 and 8 as I wanted some photos. I just had a laugh with the kids and the photographer took some photos of family time, not necessarily posed. It showed me having fun on a family day out. Surely you want to have pics of your kids enjoying themselves rather than forced to pose??

Hopefully they got some nice ones of you having fun with your kids, unless you spent the entire shoot being uptight and stressing as they weren't doing what you wanted.

Our non posed family fun photos turned out great! DS2 is autistic and she even got some lovely photos of him playing.

Thanks. This was exactly my intention.

You won’t look back and laugh about this, you’ll look back and think god I blew that massively out of proportion over a photoshoot. This is quite clearly the straw that broke the camels bacK after a rubbish week.

You sound like a mature mother to me who deep down knows a photoshoot down the park wasn’t going to be smiles and butterflies. Kids associate parks with puddles, mud, sticks and slides not poses and restrictions.

FWIW my son behaved like the devil himself on a photoshoot for grandparents. The moody photos of him are outstanding and remain on their wall 8 years later. It’s surprising what a good photographer can do.

Have a brew. Stop winding yourself up and wait for the proofs.

I get it OP. When my DCs were small we did a family photoshoot. MIL was terminally ill and we wanted a whole-family shoot to create some keepsake pictures. It involved me, DH and our two DC, SIL, BIL and their two DC, MIL, FIL and my parents in various groups. We had a photographer come to the house. On the day my youngest DD, who was about 4, had a strop and was crying lots. She wouldn't pose at all at first and in the later shots, you can see from her face she'd been crying. Poor MIL looked as poorly as she was. A few of the photos were ok but MIL passed away a few weeks later so the thought of printing photos got put aside and eventually forgotten. I found the proofs recently and, having lost my own dad a few years ago, decided to contact the photographer to see if he still had the negatives (yeah, it was 20+ yrs ago and he used a 'proper' camera 😅). Sadly he'd moved house and the negatives were lost, so I only have the proofs with the photographers watermark going across them. It makes me sad, because I have lots of photos of my kids, but few with me and the DC, and ever less of me and my dad, but c'est la vie. It was not meant to be ☹️

Hi OP,
just w anted to say that it’s ok for you to be upset about looking forward to a day that you had lovely expectations of, that you “went without” in order to pay for the event, and then it didn’t work out in the way you hoped.

Maybe you could have a chat to the photographer, coz if they are being paid as a professional, surely they should have enough talent (especially when working with children and/or animals), to be able to get the children to behave in a reasonable manner.

Many years ago, I had a mum/dc type session, and I was scared that it would all look a bit staged and unnatural… Our lady photographer brought out the best in all of us, made us “relax”, and she was snapping away, even when we didn’t realise she was.

We came away with half a dozen pics that I continue to love to this day…

The photographer was happy to discuss anything that I wasn’t happy with, so hang in there, as there might be a “better than you think” outcome.

In the meantime, have a grumble and a moan, coz although it obviously doesn’t bother some of the other posters, it’s what bothers you that counts.

Wishing you a FABULOUS Mothers Day… you might be lucky to get a half brewed tea, and some burned toast, but hey… that’s love 🧡

Except OP doesn't want photos just of her children - of which she has loads (photos, that is, not children) - but her with her children

Hey, I wonder if you approach the photographer, and say how disappointed you were. Of course, not photographers fault, but maybe they could have helped a bit more - If they would be willing to take a few extra shots - minus the logs
It might be a positive thing for the photographers business
Happy Mother’s Day, hope you have a fun day with those lovely DC.
More happy memories to come.

Has op even seen the photos yet???