To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

[iamjustgutted]

Gutted about this.

I spent admittedly far too much on a Mother’s Day photo shoot. Had it today and was awful. Kids not playing ball at all; ds wild and charging around like a complete lunatic, dd whiny and refusing to do anything she was asked.

I know it’s just kids etc but I can’t lie; I’m gutted.

We had a photo shoot and it was awful I thought… but actually there were quite a few lovely pictures and now I look back at that day with a smile. My kids were 7 and 4 at the time.

I get it op. Ignore the obtuse comments. I’m hardly in any photos either because I’m always the one taking them and dh rarely does. I’ve joked/not really a joke though before that when I’m gone the kids won’t have any pictures of me.

Honestly there is no way there were any decent ones. To be fair if wasn’t just the kids but the weather was very windy so had hair in eyes, etc.

That’s what I’m genuinely worried about. Virtually none of me and the kids and the ones that there are are posed as I have to ask and look so forced.

I lost my own mum young and I just feel like when I’m gone they’ll have nothing.

I think only pictures I've got with me and the kids were taken when my parents lived nearby - and there aren't that many.

I would wait and see what the photos look like in the end - they may well have got one or two good shots anyway.

Charming!

Aww sorry OP.

If they are all rubbish, surely the photographer should give it another go or refund you? It's their job to get the shots.

Oh OP you are getting a rough ride here! I’m so sorry you didn’t get the photos you wanted.

Sounds like a mini session outside which tends to be better for the kids and it still didn’t go well.

Your feelings are valid esp when you have spent money on it and just wanted a few nice photos. Sounds like you need to put on a sad movie and maybe have a cry to release some emotions!

im hoping the photographer might pull through and you could have a a few good one.

Ahhh op that sounds so shit for you. Completely understand why youre upset, id be gutted too .

YANBU OP
Someone gave me a voucher for a really good family photoshoot and I was so happy to finally have some decent pictures of us all together. They took loads of us "in action " and made up a simple ball game to get the kids playing naturally.

Well DC1 decided to get in a huge strop about who wasn't playing properly and kept stomping off with me saying through gritted teeth to just join in as it was our only chance. He was definitely old enough too, not a toddler - just decided to throw a tantrum and had a face like thunder.

We did get some lovely photos in the end as the photographer was really good and took loads. But I feel your pain! Hope you get some decent ones.

And no I don't post pictures on social media or anything like that - just wanted a nice one of me and DH for our bookcase and a couple of nice family ones for the wall. Usually it's DH or I taking any normal photos so we're not in them.

With technology the photographer will make you some nice pictures thats their job try not to worry

Thanks for the kinder replies, it has helped. Just disappointing when you look forward to something and it doesn’t go very well. Plus it cost £80!

Back in the days at work when we had actual desks, almost all the parents had photoshoot pictures of their DC - at the time it was fashionable to have a completely white background. Most of these were very posed, but there was one that had the children clearly not playing ball, slouching around and one of them had taken their shoes and one sock off - I always thought that one was much more interesting than the others, which were nice but didn't stand out in any way.

We had a photo shoot with all the cousins when ours were little. The photographer caught a couple of decent one but the whole thing was a disaster. DS1 refused to sit and do what he was told DS2 seemed to forget how to sit so fell over or off everything he was put on or against.

Everytime I see the photos now (they’re hanging in my parents house) I laugh at the memories which were awful at the time and marvel at the skill of the photographer for catching one of the rare moments everyone was looking in the right direction and was upright. It’s obvious to me that DS1 happened to be walking past the camera and DS2 is mid collapse but no one else would know. It’s like a little private joke to myself.

Ignore the twats on here who are obviously getting their kicks from making someone feel shit (says more about them than you).

Happy Mother’s Day.

Btw I think there's a Malcolm in the Middle episod about this exact situation. If you have Disney+ look it up and it might make you feel better!

You might be pleasantly surprised at the results, photographers can do wonders with editing - I did a few face swaps when needed to get everyone looking/smiling in at least one or 2 pictures!

I assume this was a mothers day mini session? If you are desperate for some really nice pictures I'd recommend booking a full session rather than a mini - you won't get a 'set', but it gives the kids much more time to relax and most family photographers are good at prompting fun things to get the kids all laughing and smiling like doing silly walks together. Find someone who does half hour to an hour long sessions on location (field/woodland/beach) where there's space to explore and move around, so much less pressure on young kids than a set up in one place with limited time

I think you’ll be surprised at how good photographers are at taking loads of photos and therefore getting a few good ones, even with reluctant children.

You may be pleasantly surprised, I’m sure there will be one or two nice ones.
I don’t appear in many of our children’s photos either, because I normally take them 🙈
When you go out with friends maybe ask them in advance if they see a nice moment if they wouldn’t mind capturing it/taking photos of the day and send them to you.
One of my favourite picture of me and my children is sat underneath a tree, our hair is pretty wild, our outfits clash horribly but my friend had take it because we were all laughing.
Hope you manage to get some unexpected lovely ones and lots of chances in the summer to capture some more x

Honestly wait until you’ve seen the photos to decide how you feel! If the photographer is used to family photoshoots they’ve probably managed to snap a couple of nice ones amongst the chaos. Our daughter was 3 when we got married and refused to cooperate for photos so we mostly just left her alone as we wanted her to have a nice day. We have ONE nice photo of all 3 of us where I’m looking at her and trying to get her to smile, and honestly that one is all I needed!

As a family and children photographer, whilst you might have thought it was awful, if the photographer knows what they were doing you might find yourself surprised at how many lovely candid moments they may still get. Time will tell but we are used to kids being kids and not wanting to do what we need them to do. A good photographer will work with it and do their best to give you something lovely. You may just need to let go of the idea that they will gorgeously posed with everyone in place. Time will tell but. Hey there will be some you end up loving!

To be fair you have asked AIBU. Some people will think you are being unreasonable.

I don’t do photo shoots as I’m about as awkward as it gets but I do understand wanting photos of you and the kids. I have tried so many times to get DH to take some but they’re just awful because of the forced smiles. My favourite photos with the kids are the selfies I’ve taken, mostly on the beach when we’ve all been laughing. You don’t have to have full body, looking spruced up and styled nicely. It’s the expressions that make the best photos.

We paid for a photoshoot when dd was 2. The best one is my flame haired toddler in a fairy costume with a very red face having thrown a strop.
My favourite wedding photos are the ones 5yr old dd took on a disposable camera.

Are your kids old enough to give disposable cameras too and all of you have a nice day out and frame the results?

Often nurseries put these on and team up with the photographers. Despite the fact I never would have chosen a staged indoor photoshoot (the gifted one I mention above was outdoors and largely candid) it was the first I'd ever tried it and again, we did get some nice photos and they're really precious snapshots because at baby/toddler age things like this just didn't happen - both of us looking faintly presentable and looking in the same direction as toddler!

Mine are in their 30s now, you’ll look back when they’re older and love the natural poses they pulled, take a few ones yourself as well. They’re not little for long, I love seeing any photos of mine when they were kids, pulling faces etc

This is a good idea; or you can get a used digital camera for under £100 (try CEX, they give a 24 month warranty) - the advantage of this over a phone is that it's much easier to set it up somewhere with the timer on to take a group photo, and as long as your DC are old enough to 'point and shoot' they can take pictures with it with no worries about them having access to unsuitable digital content.