AIBU to expect my mother to know my address as an adult?

[aredrosegrewup]

Looking for some opinions and perspectives to see if I'm being unreasonable.

There's definitely relevant previous background, but on the whole do mothers of adult children, regardless of age, know their address? Not just where they live but their actual address, or at least have it written down somewhere?

I appreciate this seems ridiculous in the grand scheme of life, but as with most things in life, it's one of many other issues.

Thanks!

I more or less agree. I think in tricky relationships these things are heightened and it's hard to sometimes know what's a "normal" response and what's a shitty relationship response. I've had all night to ponder on night shift 😴

I have no idea what my mother’s address is.

My mother knows my address but has sent me the wrong age birthday card before. Careless, not cognition issues.

Amazon knows my children’s addresses so I don’t have to!

Cheating the system!

I guess they should. I can never remember my mum’s address but I know where she lives and it’s on the satnav.

My dad has lived in his house 15 years and he still can’t remember the address. It’s on all the post so if at home he can generally find it but he has to ask my mum (or me) if out and about. His brain just doesn’t retain that information. Yet take him to a place once and he’d be able to get there again he just couldn’t tell you the address, but he’d give you directions (without street names). Some people don’t have memories for these things. Others do. I remember multiple addresses both current and previous for various friends and families. I remember phone numbers and phone can car regs. The downside is that I don’t write them down because I generally have a good memory for these things so that if I do forget (which happens occasionally) I’m stuffed and have to ask for the information again…. Or I wait until I remember it again (the filing system of my brain can be a little slow to load)

DD, I have her address written down and on phone as I've ordered gifts and sent them. Visit a couple of times a year.
DS1 no idea where hes living, not seen him in months, contact through WhatsApp couple times a week on average. MH issues at play on his side. As long as I know hes alive I take it as a win.
DS2, I'd have to double check address but we see him most as he lives locally, go there frequently.

I know where loads of people live but couldn't tell you their address if my life depended on it!

My son has been in his house just over a year and I sometimes have to check the number of the house if I'm ever asked. We speak several times a day and have a brilliant relationship so I don't think it's an indicator of not caring tbh.

If they know where they live why do they need to know address unless they plan to send Xmas and bd cards which very few ppl do nowadays anyway, my patenrs don't need to know my address as they live over the road

Just buy her an address book and put your name and address in it.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Are you having a laugh..seriously because she hasn't wrote down your address ..get a grip of yourself..we could be on the verge of WW3 and you're crying on the Internet because your Mum has asked for your address a few times over 5 years..Book yourself in to counselling please 🙏

Are you ok? You seem quite worked up over this post which you could have quite easily scrolled past. Instead you've decided to come on and leave a less than useless comment. Maybe you need some counselling yourself.

Can she get in touch with you by text or phone? If so, then yes, you are being unreasonable. Ring her up, have a chat, stop harbouring grievances.

As I stated in my OP, there is relevant background to the relationship. I'm not harbouring grievances, I'm struggling to determine my initial response to something - this isn't common in "normal" families but it is common in families and relationships that are very complicated. So no, I won't just be ringing her for a chat, that would be very odd in our relationship.

I could definitely drive to my daughter’s house, but without looking in my address book I wouldn’t know the house number. She’s moved three times in the past 3 years, but stayed in the same road 🤦‍♀️ I constantly get the numbers mixed up 🤷‍♀️

That seems fair enough to me. You have her address written down if you needed it. I think maybe I would have been better putting this in a different topic - one related to complex families.

I know the addresses of my adult kids, but might struggle with the post codes.