AIBU to expect my mother to know my address as an adult?

[aredrosegrewup]

Looking for some opinions and perspectives to see if I'm being unreasonable.

There's definitely relevant previous background, but on the whole do mothers of adult children, regardless of age, know their address? Not just where they live but their actual address, or at least have it written down somewhere?

I appreciate this seems ridiculous in the grand scheme of life, but as with most things in life, it's one of many other issues.

Thanks!

I just think some people are more organized with this stuff than others. I have all my family's addresses saved in my contacts in my phone. Other people are less organized and may not keep a record of an address. (I'm always getting asked by family members for my children's addresses!) I wouldn't take it personally.

My parents know where I live, but probably have no idea what my address is.

This doesn’t bother me at all. However, perhaps you have a few other issues with your mum, so this isn’t an isolated irritation?

I'm not not contact no, I'm limited contact I would say. I'm aware it looks like a non issue out of context and because of our relationship sometimes I struggle with whether something is off or if it's normal.

DM would have written down our address the first time we told her and would update it if we ever moved, changed mobile number etc; sh always wrote name in pen but address etc in pencil in her address book. I still have her last address book which I kept after her passing. Dad would never have had a clue of our address but would know how to get to our houses (there’s 4 of us) so would have asked us if he needed to write it down.

I feel there is probably a massive backstory making you even ask other people whether their mother would need reminding/telling so many times.

It could be something is off, this was the case with my DM.

It bothers me that she has asked for it multiple times and cant be arsed to remember it or write it down.

It's not a competition though and I haven't mentioned any of my background. I said in my post it seems like a small issue in the grand scheme of things.

I remember my mum saying that when her parents moved she couldn't remember the number. (We all lived on the same street) She did remember it was the house with the shitty brown door

(It's now green and she did remember the door number!)

My mum definitely wouldn't know my address. My dad knows the house number and street name but does phone to ask for the postcode everytime he wants to post a birthday card etc.
Doesn't bother me in the slightest and, on it's own, I wouldn't say it is a sign of not caring.

My mum does not know my address (post things she would ask my dad for the address) however she could travel 300 miles via train and know how to get to my house! But she couldn’t tell the taxi driver to take her directly to my home she would walk the last mile.

Why don’t you send her an email with your address subject line then it’s wrote down (easier and can’t be lost) or an address book for a present

Well this is why I asked. I know her address, my grandma's address and many others off by heart. I think if you have an emergency, it's handy to know where to send an ambulance for example.

My mum has mine written down. I did move fairly recently.

i have my DS’s written down. Don’t post him things often enough to remember it.

I have a great relationship with both my boys. Childmind weekly,days out, holidays all together.
I don’t know their addresses in full. I can and do go there regularly but house numbers? No idea

Is she haphazard with other stuff? So not just this or things related to you

In my opinion there's many solutions to all of the above. Do you not want to know that information incase there was ever an emergency for example?

A non issue to me. I know where my daughter lives . I drive there. I know her door number, road, and town.
I really would not worry about this. I think you are being over sensitive.

Thats a good question! I do know hers and multiple others. I'm not sure is the answer.

I know my DDs address but my DH wouldn’t have a clue

Are you concerned she may be messing up her banking and stuff like that too if she’s disorganised with addresses?

What would you think if she repeatedly asked for your address out of interest?

Yes - my mum visits regularly and sends cards for birthdays, Christmas etc. My dad wouldn’t have the faintest idea 🤣

This, in isolation, is a tiny (non) issue. If my mum did this I’d roll my eyes, say ‘Mum, you’re so scatty!’ or I’d tease her about how disorganised she is.

However, it’s obvious that there are major problems between you and your mum, so context is key. The thing is, focusing on this one thing and fixating on what is or isn’t ’normal’ in relation to knowing addresses just isn’t going to help you. You need to look at the whole picture and your relationship with her as a whole instead of picking one small detail. It’s like focusing on the condition of one tiny cog while ignoring the whole machine.

I would struggle to tell you anyone's address except my own i know how to get to peoples house but actual address is different. When I've had to pick up prescriptions for family members I've had to ask their actual address