AIBU to expect my mother to know my address as an adult?

[aredrosegrewup]

Looking for some opinions and perspectives to see if I'm being unreasonable.

There's definitely relevant previous background, but on the whole do mothers of adult children, regardless of age, know their address? Not just where they live but their actual address, or at least have it written down somewhere?

I appreciate this seems ridiculous in the grand scheme of life, but as with most things in life, it's one of many other issues.

Thanks!

😂 where to begin...

Mine hasn't visited me in at least 25 years and doesn't have my new address, I doubt she even knows what town I live in but she does know the county. I know both of my adult kids addresses although I do have to check the last part of DS's postcode.

It's not nothing to me and my circumstances though.

I’ve lived in my current address 6 years and until last year she asked EVERY TIME (and every time for every address beforehand) Wouldn’t even be arsed to search it in our WhatsApp conversation from the previous time, never mind actually write it down. I refused to tell her at one point as I was tired of it and loe and behold she managed to find it herself.

My kids are mid 20s to early 30s, all been to uni, various addresses etc. I have a record of every address all three have ever lived at. Not saying it's vitally important to know all their past ones, but I just always make a note when they move. It's how I roll 🙂

It's an unreasonable opinion though in my view

It was just one example. I feel better knowing my grandmother's address incase anything was ever needed, I wasn't there and had to give it to somebody.

I know all 3 of my adult children's addresses-
but do check every time as all of them have moved a lot (student years)

I post them cards now and then just to say hello and often send flowers/things on amazon etc.

So I do find it odd that parents don't know their DC addresses-I also keep mine in my phone in contacts but I now realise if I lost my phone it would be bad!

I'd write it clearly on a piece of card, put it in a little frame ... and gift it to her. Maybe hang it on her wall next time you visit. Silly? Yes. Unnecessary? Possibly. But it might solve the problem!

This is exactly how I feel. I haven't actually replied yet.

You sound lovely!

😂😂😂

My mum visits me around once a month (I visit her more frequently) and I'm certain she has no idea what my actual address is. She knows the building/how to get there but definitely not the road name or postcode.

I actually think if I text her right now asking which door number I am she wouldn't be sure!

That your Mum, off the top of her head, doesn't know your address by heart and she has to ask, every time, is not really that abnormal.

My husband could certainly not recite the addresses of our children and he actually loves them madly 🤗

I do think your pov is somewhat skewed because of your relationship @aredrosegrewup

I do understand why it may bug you, somewhat, though.

And I think it's unreasonable not to know your children's address, after repeatedly giving it. (My circumstances, not yours).

Do you know hers?

It's definitely skewed! That's why I'm asking. There's so many different answers though, I feel more confused than when I started.

Do you have their addresses written down or saved anywhere?

Yes! Although I used to live there... I'd like to think I'd remember her address if/when she moved though.

She also didn't know the name of the last company I worked at, despite me working there for 5 years.

I have also sent cards/flowers to her by post since moving out (i.e. after she had surgery or for mothers day if I wasn't seeing her on the actual day), whereas she's never had any reason to post anything to me really.

To save me scrolling about to get it.

It takes 2 seconds to send an address, its really not a big deal.

Yes, I know my Adult child’s address. I also have it saved in my phone/written in my diary. I like to send them gifts, cards etc.

I would feel a bit strange if I didn’t know it.

Do you have a DDad, does he know your address? What are these type of threads always about the DM?

Because I dont have a Dad 😂 I could hardly wrote about him, he definitely doesn't know my address. I have stepdad if you will 🙄

It's nothing against women or mothers, it's my personal circumstances.

It is in my case. Those 2 seconds it takes to send the address is the 2 seconds it takes to save the address.