AIBU to want to tell colleague’s wife about his workplace affair?

[Berrylipshade]

Name changed for this.
I’m watching an affair play out in work. Been going on for a long time. Everyone knows. Not at all discreet. Today it was bad, cuddling, neck stroking, hands in hair, in plain sight of a few of us, and leaving for “lunch” together.
He is a horrible arrogant man. His poor wife & young kids.
I hear him telling clients about his wife and comes across as so devoted. He’s a pig.
The one he’s shagging is single, but an obnoxious flirt. The whole thing just makes me so annoyed.
i wish I could not care.
but i keep plotting to leak this to his wife.
is that wrong?

I’m not sure. If it could come back to you in any way I wouldn’t.

Do it anonymously

The PDA at work🤮 surely that's a no go in the workplace as standard?

Keep well out of it. Not your circus, not your monkey. Just get on with your job professionally, if you value it.

If you can do it sneakily and anonymously then yes, go for it.

Otherwise you’ll come out worst.

Not your place to inform her. I'd inform HR about the relationship as often relationship at work needs to be declared. But not his wife. I wouldn't get involved.

I'd be complaining to HR about inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. His wife may already know or have suspicions. I'm not sure it's right for you to tell her though - is she a stranger to you or do you know her?

They’re doing all that at work? Gross.

Him sleeping with other people could have health implications for his wife in terms of STDs. So if I could tell her anonymously, I would.

If you can do it anonymously then yeah, imagine being the wife and knowing people witnessed it all in plain site and she didn’t get told.
if it will come back on you then don’t
is there a whistle blowing anonymous line at your place too?

If everyone at work knows then surely he will come undone. If you could do it anonymously then maybe but I would worry for my job as people's personal lives are just that. There's a slim chance she knows and doesn't care. Or that they haven't actually done anything except the flirting you witness. Unlikely though. And he's still a rat.

I know deep down I wouldn’t, but it’s ramped up this last month. I think partly because I can’t stand this man, he’s always really shitty to people he deems “lower” than him.
today a few if us were saying how they shouldn’t be touching like that where people are able to see. They didn’t kiss, but you’d only touch someone like that romantically.

I don’t know her, no.

I would 100% inform his poor wife. Preferably anonymously

He’s done it before someone said today…but a few years ago with someone else! He was married to his wife then too.

Mind your own business and do nothing.... obviously

I sound like a busy body.
but I hate people who cheat like this.

Yeah…I know that’s wise.
just been thinking about it all day!

Sod what people on here say

Tell the poor soul

is he in an open relationship ? @Berrylipshade

Report to HR... if they find out and have a word - he will likely shit himself and realise there is a strong chance his wife would find out - because he is obviously not as sneaky as he thinks.

Or speak about his wife and kids infront of the other woman. See if you can do it so your eyes meet in silence just for a split second. Hopefully she will feel the shame, even if this pig doesnt.

Normally I’m one who would say ‘mind your own business’ but there is something just so grim about what you describe that I think I would be tempted to consider anonymously letting her know. I can see why it makes you so disgusted and uncomfortable.

If I was the wife I would want to know.

Ew, I don't even want to see married couples all over each other at work, let alone an affair 🤮
But if he's that beaxen about it he can't be worried about word getting round.

Yeah, that’s how they get away with it. What happened to doing the right thing? Sisterhood?

@Berrylipshade do it anonymously, but please do it. His poor wife, she deserves better than this

As someone who was victim of this behaviour - please please tell her. Do it anonymously. Then it doesn't matter if she already knew or had an open relationship.

so many women like to be quiet about this kind of thing. They will tell you to 'be the bigger person' and not tell anyone.

no ones 'bigness' is abided by quietly observing dishonest and damaging behaviour.

genuinely, please tell her.

or DM me who it is and I'll do it

Yeah don't do this. People who respect women don't act like this and keep quiet.