To raise a safeguarding issue with church regarding playgroup?

[Bornunderpunches]

my 2.5 year old son managed to escape the church playgroup. I was just chatting to another mum when I looked up and realised he wasn’t in the hall. He can’t have been longer than 20 seconds from when I’d last seen him and I got up and went looking for him, however being heavily pregnant I’m much slower than him at this point. all the doors were left open and when I got to him he had managed to run across the busy road just about 15 metres from the front door of the church. luckily a passer by had got to him and pulled him out of the road. Ive been going to the group for around a year and nobody in particular runs the group and we’re just left to our own devices, the church has no input whatsoever they just let us use the hall. we buy the biscuits and milk and what not, get all the toys out ourselves and put them away etc. When I told the office in a complete state of shock they were completely dismissive of the issue and said how they leave the doors open for mothers and children to easily access the group and acted like it was nothing to do with them. I just feel like such an awful mother and unsure of how to approach the situation because I don’t know whether this would be considered my fault as the church don’t have anyone supervising the group or the church’s fault for not having more in place for safeguarding in the first place.

I always view those groups as if I were in a public space - like a park or a cafe. They are generally not a safe space for letting your toddler do their own thing, you need to have eyes on your child all the time.

By all means raise it as an issue as a near-miss, but perhaps frame it with a solution moving forwards to prevent it happening again. Eg. Policy to close doors, print out posters, fundraiser or purchase a safety gate etc.

This was on you, as you are supposed to supervise. Thankfully no harm occurred so try to take some positive action? I think of it seems any blame is being sought, they would likely close/restrict usage.

My DD ran out too one day. Parents chatting and didn’t close the door. One possibility is you offer to man the door. It is important to close the door but parents just chat and don’t notice another child.

In my work we would call this a "near miss" and a reminder to make things safer in future. Rushing in to blame somebody gets you nowhere.

For example maybe a stair gate needs to be set up somewhere to avoid the little ones wandering straight out of the door, or a stick on alarm or a person on the door. If the church are just hiring out the space then it will not really be their responsibility to watch the users. I would get together with the other parents and work out a solution.

As has been said your child is your responsibility in this situation.

But as an aside, if no-one is responsible for the toys, I'm guessing no-one is responsible for cleaning them and making sure they're not broken either?

Not really something I'd be happy to take my child to.

There is a safeguarding officer in every church so maybe find out who it is (look on a church near you) and message them directly. Even if you say that you are aware your child is your responsibility but has been a risk assessment done for situations like this.

Absolutely this! No one is being paid to run it, therefore it needs volunteers, and without them either there is no playgroup, or you watch your own child all the time.

You’ve been going for a year and only just noticed the issue with the doors, seems unlikely. Surely when you take your child somewhere regularly you check the safety aspect, doors able to be open by the child with no safeguards you either accept you have to watch your child like a hawk or you find another group to go to? Or even more radically you accept some volunteering responsibility and get all the parents to agree to some safety measures.

He was in your care and you let him out of your sight. Not blaming you at all - most of us have done it especially when pregnant or sleep deprived. My DC are now mid twenties and I still occasionally wake in a cold sweat in the middle of the night remembering a couple of near-miss incidents.

But I think all you can do is say: please can we all make an effort to keep the doors shut at all times - my son ran out and because I'm pregnant I couldn't reach him in time before he crossed a busy road. You could make the point that anyone could walk in, too.

No, it's not the same at all. It might be an informal group but there still has to be some degree of collective agreement on things, otherwise stuff like this is the obvious result.

It doesn't need to be much, but there should be some sort of agreement written down that states what is expected from everyone attending.

Clearly there is a massive safeguarding fail. Running the door so toddlers can get out and onto a road is absolutely a massive fail for any place hosting young children - that must have been a dreadful shock OP (when my DD was about 20 months old she ran out onto a road while I was getting something out of the boot of my car. She was fine but its still like a punch in the guts every time I think of it even 16 years later)

However there is also no one running the group - I think you need to find another group that is properly run with people who understand young children and risk.

But yes I would formally write to whoever is in charge and let them know.

Make a formal complaint to the Parish Council, they are in charge of the running of the church.
In the meantime, find a better, more vigilant playgroup and watch your child like a hawk.

Are you the only group using the church at this time? Most churchs have a number of halls and a number of activities going on at any given time. Is there a door into just the room you are using - that should be easier to keep closed.

I would suggest viewing it like meeting friends with children in costa. You are stll responsible for monitoring your own child.

I would say a bit of both. You need to watch your child more closely and stay closer to them (especially if you are struggling with mobility), and the church playgroup needs to put something in place to stop it been so easy to escape.

As someone who volunteers at our local church playgroup, I can see the playgroups perspective on this. They want to make the group visibly open and welcoming as possible and closed doors can put people off. A closed door can be a real barrier to entry for some people, I've experienced parents coming in late and being embarrassed or anxious at opening the door and walking in so turn around. Some church doors are particularly heavy and swing closed behind them and having them closed makes manoeuvring prams and pushchairs through them very cumbersome, again putting a barrier to entry in place. Same with if a pressure fit baby gate is used, they are trip hazards and also make getting prams and pushchairs in hard work.

You do need to be staying close to and watching your child, especially if your child is a runner. At our church playgroup it is very explicit that parents, carers, grandparents, childminders/ nannies are responsible for their children. However the door (possibly an internal door in the church hall, whilst leaving the external door open) does need to be closed or have someone close by monitoring the door. Sign or stand outside saying playgroup open might be a good compromise and keeping an external door open whilst the internal door to the hall is closed. It's tricky to ensure the door is always kept closed though, especially if the toilets and pram parking area are through that door and the playgroup is busy. It can almost be a full time position manning the door and if the people running it have children/ grandchildren of their own attending then the door might not always be monitored.

Not sure it's so easy for a toddler to run out of a soft play area that is supervised. Hope OP can get the 'open door' policy changed as it sounds very unsafe to me.

Were the doors actually open, not just unlocked? The doors should definitely be shut, in a public building they will surely be fire doors and should not be propped open.

The mistake might be in calling this a playgroup? Really the church is just providing a space, free of charge, where people can gather with their children. Bring your own biscuits and milk. Nobody's running a playgroup there.
In which case, to me, everyone is responsible for themselves and their children.
However, given the pitfalls for the church, this arrangement probably needs to stop. Better call a halt than have a child get loose, an accident happen, and the church ending up in a court case.

A toddler group is normally risk assessed assuming parents look after their own child. The volunteers don't need DBS, because they are not supervising the children.

Volunteers are normally there to set up/pack away, maybe make coffee, and perhaps lead songs or story time if they have them.
The nearest they'd get to supervising normally might be doing a craft but still expect parents to be with them.

It's a group of mums. They should all be vigilant but can hardly be held responsible for other peoples children.

Presumably nobody was stopping you or any of the other parents from checking the doors and closing them if necessary, or going around to do a child-proofing recce as parents would normally do as standard when in a non-home environment?

You've said yourself that you aren't interested in volunteering to help the group run - and presumably the other parents feel the same - so why are you seeking to blame the people who kindly provide the hall but never actually claim to run the group?

If none of the parents want to volunteer, you could always look to club together to employ a qualified childcare professional or two to do so - as long as everybody is willing to pay the cost of this.

Other than that, your options are either for every parent to supervise their children very carefully or otherwise stop going to the session.

Can you get in touch with other parents, tell them what happened, and suggest how to make it safer next time. It doesn't sound like there's anyone to report a safeguarding concern to - there's no committee, no oversight by Church hall volunteers (nor should there be!), etc.

But in reality, you need a proper committee of 3 or more people to sort out regulations, expectations, hall bookings, and the like.

It's clearly not an open door policy.
The room had swing doors, that the child got out of... so a toddler had to have the time to run up, push open the doors and leave.

There was a 2nd set of doors that potentially wee open or maybe in use, we don't know, we can only assume they were left open.

The child then also managed to escape these doors and cross a road.

That's a long time for a toddler to go unnoticed in a parent toddler group.

You could print out a sign reminding parents that children are the responsibility of the person that brought them, and that the church has no liability. Then ask if the church would mind allowing you to put it up at the entrance.

If you complain about something that wasn’t their fault, and don’t want to help run the group, you are running the risk of the offer of the free community space being taken away from other people who do supervise their children properly, and that would be very unfair.

No, you mean the Parochial Church Council. The parish council are nothing to do with the church. But it sounds to me like this is not a church group, but an external group which hires the hall, and they are the ones who need a proper safeguarding policy.

Oh I'm so sorry, I don't think anyone wants to make you feel more shit, its just a confusing set up with not a very clear solution.

I think say something at the start of the next session, to make sure everyone remembers to close the main door and that everyone is responsible for their own children. If everyone else there saw what happened I imagine there'll thinking about it too.

I was about to go put with my about 3 and 2 year old once, they were ready in the hall and I thought, I fancy putting some lipstick on, went upstairs to grab it and when I came back (took me a minute to find it) the kids were gone. I ran around the house and garden in a complete state of panic, found them in the little carpark waiting patiently by our car at the end of our cul-de-sac (near a very busy road!). I could have died from panic and guilt, all because of some stupid lipstick. I've never even told anyone that and it was about 10 years ago. You're not shit, a terrible mistake happened, that youre right, needs addressing somehow.