To raise a safeguarding issue with church regarding playgroup?

[Bornunderpunches]

my 2.5 year old son managed to escape the church playgroup. I was just chatting to another mum when I looked up and realised he wasn’t in the hall. He can’t have been longer than 20 seconds from when I’d last seen him and I got up and went looking for him, however being heavily pregnant I’m much slower than him at this point. all the doors were left open and when I got to him he had managed to run across the busy road just about 15 metres from the front door of the church. luckily a passer by had got to him and pulled him out of the road. Ive been going to the group for around a year and nobody in particular runs the group and we’re just left to our own devices, the church has no input whatsoever they just let us use the hall. we buy the biscuits and milk and what not, get all the toys out ourselves and put them away etc. When I told the office in a complete state of shock they were completely dismissive of the issue and said how they leave the doors open for mothers and children to easily access the group and acted like it was nothing to do with them. I just feel like such an awful mother and unsure of how to approach the situation because I don’t know whether this would be considered my fault as the church don’t have anyone supervising the group or the church’s fault for not having more in place for safeguarding in the first place.

This is on you as a parent not the church

It's still that parent fault though. Of course an accident, and we all.know it happens. Bug it's nobody else's fault.

Your child, your responsibility. You were busy chatting and not watching him. Why would it be the church’s responsibility

There is something in place - the parents

I dont think they do…we dont have people in the street reminding parents - the op knew there was nobody running the group so its on her she lost sight of her child - if something obscuring your view you move so you can see your child

reminding parents is infantilising them and taking responsibility away from them - they already knwo they are responsible

Make sure the outer door is shut. You could put a sign up on the outside and inside of the outer door asking that people shut it behind them while the playgroup is happening. You could also put a warning sign on the inner doors (no unaccompanied children beyond this point - to draw parents’ attention to the danger).

But no, it’s not the church’s fault.

You said yourself nobody supervises the kids, you all are just allowed to take your kids there to play. Sorry but that means you are responsible for your child while they are there.

It's your 'fault'. It's not childcare provision, you were responsible for supervising your child. If you raised a safeguarding concern it would be against yourself. I worked in play groups, we kept an eye out for the kids but it was not our responsibility to supervise them or man the doors. These things can happen so I'm not passing judgement but you can't pass that responsibility on to someone else.
A parent tried pushing for legal action against a soft play centre in my area for a similar situation, she didn't get anywhere. These places do what they can to keep the place secure but they are not responsible for supervising the children and preventing them from leaving.

You cant go round reminding parents they are responsible they already know so nothing to be done here

I think thats overkill and starts making the church responsible

i know these types of doors and there are often various things going on 8n church settings so not practical either

No they wouldnt….the only safe guarding issue is OP

was there anyone running the group? No

where was mum when child was playing? Chatting to another parent

🤷‍♀️

i do thing OP you have shaken yourself up and are trying to find blame elsewhere because it probably feels very bad to admit you took your eyes off son and he nearly got run over - your seeking an explanation that protects ypu from feeling bad

Someone needs to he in charge, what happens if there's an actual accident or a fire? Is anyone taking an attendance list? Is the church literally just leaving the doors open and having no involvement who does or doesn't enter? I honestly wouldn't use this group whilst no one is taking any responsibility

You're telki9me if you take your kid to playgroup you need reminding that you have to look after your own child? How often? Weekly? Hourly? What if you take her shopping or swimming, does someone need to pop over and remind you to look after your own kid?

@Bornunderpunches that must have been a scary experience!

The fact that no one runs and the venue isn't rented means it isn't a baby/toddler/parent group but just a social gathering at a venue. No different to friends meeting up at the park.

I used to run a similar group, and we had to rent the hall, and most importantly we had to have public liability insurance, then do a risk assessment to meet the insurance requirements. ALL groups/clubs have to do this. e.g. we had to audit the toys to check they were safe, clean the toys, make sure parents didn't have hot coffee in reach of children, all activities had to be safe. It was a surprising amount of work. It was still the parents responsibility to make sure their child was safe, but we had to make sure safety protocols were in place e.g. inside door always kept shut so no children could leave the room.

As the thing you are attending is just a social meet up for parents, then the onus of responsibility is down to the individuals to keep an eye on their own children, no different to being in a shop or restaurant or any other public venue.

Why WOULD they?

If it's not a Church run group, and my understanding is that this is a third-party run group, then it's got nothing to do with them.

So who do you think should be responsible except YOU? You were the one meant to be watching your child. You KNOW that no one is supervising this group so why wouldn’t your eyes be on him all the time??

But you'd go to a park or someone else's house - where there would be nobody 'in charge' - because you know that if there was a fire or an accident, you'd have to take responsibility and act accordingly. Just because a room or space is provided doesn't also mean there will be supervision provided.

Pretty sure what I think is the safeguarding issue and what you think is the safeguarding issue are not the same thing here.

@SleepingStandingUp You seem to think parents have eyes in the backs of their heads and helicopter every second of their lives? Most don’t do that at a play session. What I think parents should be reminded of is closing doors! Checking they only have their child. Making certain they close a gate to a road. They need reminding if they don’t do it. Whatever the responsibilities of an individual parent, all parents who attend have responsibilities to all the children.

Without anyone running it, who pays the venue? Who gets the coffee supplies in? Who does any admin? If it’s the church, they need to step up and run it properly.

I have three, including twins. I absolutely know how easy it is to have kids who like to disappear. I don't need to be told to look after my child by a play leader.

What shocks me about OPs situation isn't that she had a lapse in concentration, it's that no one noticed and thifuht to do something. Everyone there is a parent. We shouldn't have to have someone who's job it is to tell parents to be responsible! In ops case there is no one anyway as no one is in charge or running it. But how have we got to the point where adults at a play group can't pull a door shut or grab a wandering toddler who's clearly got away from their carer?

But this isn't someone's house. An informal arrangement between mates where you know who's in your house is different to loads of peopel cruising round a shopping precinct in a Sunday afternoon and is different to a play session in a private building where a major accident is going to bring up all sorts of issues over insurance. The church aren't opening the room up to the community. I can guarantee if a group of teenagers wanted to hang out or a group of middle aged men walked in they'd quickly be told this is a session just for playgroup. In which case, even if it's a rolling committee style thing, there should be some level of accountability.

@SleepingStandingUp Yes. This was 3 decades ago too. People are just in their own bubble and seem to forget to close doors and gates. If a child died, there would be blame! If there are two mechanisms for keeping dc in a hall but adults fail to use them, there would be an inquest and repercussions.

I think the group will now shut.

Yes - but it's up to the parents themselves to organise that, not the church who are just providing the room.

This is basic advice from
the Early Years Alliance. This group does need people organising it and there is legislation that surrounds informal groups. However parents take responsibility too. However health and safety is an issue if doors are open because that’s clearly not a safe practice.