To raise a safeguarding issue with church regarding playgroup?

[Bornunderpunches]

my 2.5 year old son managed to escape the church playgroup. I was just chatting to another mum when I looked up and realised he wasn’t in the hall. He can’t have been longer than 20 seconds from when I’d last seen him and I got up and went looking for him, however being heavily pregnant I’m much slower than him at this point. all the doors were left open and when I got to him he had managed to run across the busy road just about 15 metres from the front door of the church. luckily a passer by had got to him and pulled him out of the road. Ive been going to the group for around a year and nobody in particular runs the group and we’re just left to our own devices, the church has no input whatsoever they just let us use the hall. we buy the biscuits and milk and what not, get all the toys out ourselves and put them away etc. When I told the office in a complete state of shock they were completely dismissive of the issue and said how they leave the doors open for mothers and children to easily access the group and acted like it was nothing to do with them. I just feel like such an awful mother and unsure of how to approach the situation because I don’t know whether this would be considered my fault as the church don’t have anyone supervising the group or the church’s fault for not having more in place for safeguarding in the first place.

I think you just need to make a mindset shift, OP. As PP have said upthread, view it as a mum/baby meet-up at Starbucks. Lots of people coming and going, and nobody is going to stop your tot from walking out the front door. The church isn’t going to provide staff for this; neither is Starbucks.

Pp likening this to a supermarket or library are right really and I can certainly remember ds1 running towards the automatic doors I. A shop once while I had ds2 in the babysat in a trolley.
These things happen. Another time I was on 3rd floor of large library in the toilet, which lift opened out to. Ds2 was 1.5 and was stepping in and out of the open lift while I was sorting ds1. You guessed it - someone called the lift when he stepped in, the doors closed and he was gone 🙈 Luckily ds1 who was only 4 flew down the stairs faster than me and was waiting for him at ground floor when he arrived 😆 A horrible minute that I remember too well.
My playgroup had oush double doors also so it's definitely possible. I used to just have my chats but with a constant eye on him if he moved from where we were stationed.

Your reply has made me read back through the OP's posts, and she hasn't mentioned there's a Sunday school?

Or are you assuming all churches have them?

They don't in my area.

I really dislike this need that some people have to blame someone else for everything that happens.
Next you'll be wanting compensation or for someone to be admonished and have to apologise to you.

Could you write to them to suggest having something available like child gates that could be put in place when the group is running.

Do you have to pay to attend? Who maintains the toys etc?

My local church playgroup has these child safety gates that go around the doorway in a sort of semi-circle. Everyone leaves their prams in the front entrance hallway (but they can bring them in if someone helps move the gate). The doors are closed but unlocked and the safety gate is around them. Can you maybe suggest this to the Church?

Obviously it’s the parent’s responsibility to be minding their child, but if they’re going to provide a space for a toddler group then it also has to be suitable and safe.

This!
How on earth is this the fault of the church? And when I read the post near the top of this thread suggesting you raise it with the vicar I nearly spat my tea out. How is this the vicar’s problem?! 🤣

Ultimately he was your responsibility in this situation but that shouldn’t stop you raising the suggestion of stair gates or some other safety factor for the future, you just don’t need to go in all guns blazing.

I hope you’re ok.

This is not a childcare thing it’s an open building where you are attending with your child. It’s your responsibility.
If you must raise it, I would do it in a “ this happened to me and I’d hate it to happen to someone else, are there any measures that can be put in place?” Rather than blaming other people as you weren’t watching your child.

I can’t imagine blaming a venue for this, you are responsible for your own child and you can’t switch off to chat to your friend! Yes the doors should be shut but the responsibility to keep your child safe is with you.

💯

Although your child is essentially your responsibility, it’s quite possible that the church should have done a risk assessment on the premises, particularly for the insurance they‘ll have to have for allowing the public through the doors (which happens on a Sunday as well as any weekly activities).

The type of insurance and the chain of command/ responsibility will depend on the denomination.

I find this situation a bit of a grey area as I assume the church advertises the parent/toddler group? Then, it’s more official than a couple of people wandering into an empty building.

I suspect they would benefit from child gates and a sign making it clear that each child should be accompanied by a caregiver with a maximum child ratio, who is solely responsible for that/ those children. Also training around hot drinks and a risk assessment around windows and ecclesiastical furniture.

I‘d bring the situation to their attention. There may be a church secretary or a youth worker, or of course the vicar or equivalent. The majority of churches have safeguarding processes in place.

This was a near miss and does need to be reported to the church or play group committee etc. Another parent may find themselves in the same situation as you.

Likely actions will be signs going up to remind parents/carers to supervise their children at all times and a sign on the door reminding them to keep it closed.

beyond this, if the group cannot be considered to meet safely without any designated staff or volunteers it may have to close.

Yes this. They could just shut the whole thing down and these groups are a lifeline for some. Especially those with depression or who cannot afford more expensive activities. Please think of how shutting down the group would affect others.

Naturally you are in shock (and should be because that was a close call).

The sensible thing to do would be to either take responsibility for the group or approach someone to share the responsibility with you. Does anyone throw the soft toys in a machine once in a while or wipe down the slides etc? It can’t just have no input, surely?

As a starting point, I think you should politely ask if it would be possible to have the outside doors closed for the duration of the playgroup. With absolutely no implied responsibility for the church.

Then take turns on checking that it stays closed. Maybe put a Welcome, Come In sign up for newcomers.

I think you can ask that the doors are shut, but ultimately in this set up your child is your responsibility. I think PPs are right you have had a nasty shock and looking for someone else to blame.

Unfortunately as a mum of a child who would do this you have to keep your eyes on him all the time. They should keep the door closed. I keep an eye on my son at all times because he is undiagnosed autistic as he will go for a run through to places like a school carpark which is apparently my responsibility to make sure the gate is closed and not all the staff and other parents. I doubt they will listen to you though.

I would probably avoid this group if they don't shut the door because it won't be enjoyable to you.

I think this has been a nasty shock for you but nowhere (apart from nursery/school) are entirely responsible for your child. You need to be following your 2 year old round playgroups/softplay/the park with eyes on them at all times and knowledge of any entrances and exits. Chatting to other parents consists of small talk that is consistently interrupted at that age. I think you need to adjust your expectations of being able to have conversations with other people when you have toddlers because soon you will have two and you’ll really have to be on the ball.

Well if anything happened to the child the church WOULD be to blame.

How WOULD they?

They aren't a childcare facility?

In what way would the church be to blame if a child ran out and got hurt on the road?

Yes but it is their property.

How?
The building itself?
The vicar (who isn't there as far as we know)?

This.

I ran a group like this. I've had my own 'runners'. As a parent I try to think of it as a park, in terms of responsibilities or ask mentally think of who is responsible for the child. Trick question because the answer is me!

I learnt the hard way with a Houdini kid and a garden. Thankfully nothing bad happened

Most toddler church groups I knew have the door shut and then a smaller door shut. This type of one would be one I would avoid.