I want the positive comments about my weight.

[Globules]

I was at my hobby last night. I went late, so still in office clothes and not my normal jeans and jumper.

After the group ended, I went to speak to one of my friends, X. She told me I looked amazing, really skinny and just fabulous.

Another person, Y, who I barely know, corrected my friend and said I hope I didn't hear what I think I heard. She's looking amazing and fabulous, yes? That's all, right? We don't need that other comment, do we?

X knows Y pretty well, so kinda said, yes, yes. Of course she's looking wonderful. And moved on swiftly.

X knows just how hard I've worked for 2 years to shift the weight. She knows about the 4.30am 10k runs before work. She sponsored me in my first ever half marathon last year. She's seen me deny myself cake. She's watched me choose gin over calorific cocktails.

She knows how bloody hard I've worked to lose the weight. I really enjoyed hearing her say it was noticeable.

I didn't know Y well enough to say anything, and didn't want X to feel I was making a bigger deal of it. I have messaged X this morning telling her what a buzz her comment gave me last night.

Are we really in a place now where friends can't compliment another's weightloss as part of them looking good?

If you love cake as much as I do - it can be hard to resist when there is so much gorgeous temptation everywhere - so it does feel like a battle like me versus cake (joke 😆)

I don’t interpret it negatively no. And you come across as aggressive as I don’t agree with you.

I see thin as the negative connotation, skinny for me is usually a light hearted way of saying slim. We see it is product names, where the word skinny is used to indicate slim, even In jeans.

i understand for you it is clearly triggering some issues, and it’s unfortunate for you, but it quite frankly is not my issue.

@Wildgoat
It isn’t triggering at all, anything but.
I am Neurodivergent and I realise now, having read some comments from other posters, that I have been sidetracked and focused on the “literal” meaning of a word used, instead of understanding the most important part of what the OP was saying, ie her feelings about her weight loss.

That said I think you will find that “thin” is used generally in a more neutral fashion, whereas “skinny” is generally considered in a more negative light by English speakers on the whole. I understand that you might interpret it differently, but that is why it led to confusion for me in the first place that wouldn’t have occurred if another more neutral or positive term had been used.

That’s fine, but English is my first language and I interpret it differently as do many others on this thread. Skinny is so much in common parlance now it is used to mean slim by many and thin is below this.

When my Mum and Dad sat me down and told me how fat I was - no I didn’t like it.

After losing 2.5 stone and friends telling me how slim I was- yes, I loved it.

Agree. Also 90s teen and not offended by being told I look slim or skinny. Given the context that the friend knows your journey, I dont think she did anything wrong. In fact, the other woman was rude by correcting s conversation between two friends.

Fully agree, I wouldn’t want to be told I look thin, I’d see that as a negative. you look thin as an unwell person.

kate moss made the word skinny fashionable, with her comment on nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

and we have so many products now with skinny in the title.

if you look at the dictionary definition it wouldn’t be a compliment, but it’s not how it’s used in common parlance.

Just ordered my child some 'skinny fit' trousers and thought of this thread. (He's long and slim.)

That’s nothing to do with weight though. It just describes the fit. You can get skinny fit jeans in very big plus sizes.

I bet Y is fat.

It is relevant, the skinny means slim fit and shows how common the word is now.

Me too, or underweight, I assume she’s issues with her own weight, my assumption is anyone reacting badly has their own issues.

Slim fit isn’t the same as skinny fit. Skinny fit is a much, much closer fit than skinny fit. Skinny fit is the extreme of close fitting trousers, like they’re sprayed onto your skin as they’re so close fitting. As skinny fit is extreme, skinny is the extreme end of slim, verging on ill looking.

This.

The fact that other women don’t want comments on their weight doesn’t really have anything to do with you. You are allowed to be complimented by your friend.

I feel the same as you op, I’ve lost 2 stone and I definitely love it when people notice/comment.

Again we agree to disagree, and I do not for one moment believe the ops friend was telling her she was so thin she was Ill looking, but if you believe that you do you;

This thread illustrates perfectly why some people struggle with social interactions.

If I got my son standard fit trousers they would fall down around the waist, a size smaller and they're too short and his ankles are on show. So skinny fit helps solve that problem, it is partly to do with weight when you're buying clothes for children at least. If he wasn't skinny I wouldn't buy the skinny fit.

Her friend obviously meant it as a compliment, but unfortunately there are people who use the word skinny for looking underweight and see it as a good thing. The other person probably stepped in thinking the OP could be offended. As it was, she wasn’t, and the other person should have just left the OP and her friend to it. Someone else could have been offended and pleased the other person said something though. Thats why most people seem to just not mention anyone’s weight.

A relatives daughter has an eating disorder and is underweight. She was part of an online community that posted photos and congratulated each other on looking skinny.

It’s a minefield now OP, a lot of people don’t want to be commented on. Its hard to know who is who sometimes. Rest assured most people will have noticed your transformation!

The woman should have been able to recognise by their body language and tone the op and the woman were friends and she wasn’t offended. If she was unable to do that, she should have kept her mouth shut, because it wasn’t just she could have been offended, it also was she could have been delighted.

and unless a back story she should also assume other women are capable of speaking up for themselves and she doesn’t need to involve herself in other people’s conversations.

A lot of women don’t speak up, mumsnet is testament to that. It’s full of women who can’t say no, can’t say what they’re thinking and get walked all over. Person Y was probably trying to help knowing a lot of women are incapable of speaking up.

As the thread shows, really skinny means different things to different people. I see it as too thin, frail, ill, no muscle, shapeless and like a prepubescent child. However if a friend used it, I’d know they weren’t trying to offend me and would think they were in the camp that sees skinny as positive, as in slim and healthy.

If you’re happy with how you look OP, then it doesn’t matter. Presume that both people were trying to be kind and thought you looked great.

god now sad, go assume when watching am interaction like the op had to assume she’s some woman who can’t speak up and was offended and needed the foolish third woman to interfere and chastise her friend like a child. How offensive to the op.

no one should be running around assuming women can’t speak up,

You don’t need to read for long on here to realise many women can not speak up for themselves.

Mumsnet has a reputation for being full of ‘wet lettuces’. Unfortunately.