To let my daughter have a seat?

[NeedingAGoodNap]

I was on a tram in Melbourne recently with my 5 year old dd. We both managed to grab seats but the tram soon got busy and some people were standing.

A man, who appeared to be mid 20s, got annoyed that my daughter had a seat when adults were having to stand and was very vocal about this. He felt she should give him her seat!

I absolutely refused, we were on a low floor tram which can be very rocky and often stop very suddenly. My daughter is too short to reach any of the handles and would absolutely go flying if the tram hit the breaks. I also don’t feel like she needs to give her seat to a young adult just because she is a child.

Was I unreasonable to refuse to give him her seat?

I understand this story is from Melbourne, but in the Uk, 5 year olds are charged for a seat.

He was a 20 year old man and as everyone knows he's far more important than a 5 year old girl.

Presumably this man travels on trams frequently and has had plenty of time to come to terms with the fact that its a case of first come, first served

Strange that he didn't hassle anyone else seated in your tram to stand up for him, but picked on the smallest most vulnerable person there.

I've travelled on trams and been jolted around. It would be difficult for a five year old and you'd have been on tenterhooks trying to make sure she didn't. All because he has some imaginary rule in his head that he's owed a seat.

Well done OP for recognising that you don't have to do something just because a Random Man tells you to.

Well done for advocating for your child and showing her that by your example.

As a regular user of Melbourne trams, some of the responses on here are laughable. Luggage rack indeed. You were fine, OP, the young man was ridiculous. Every chance he was on a student fare, so not paying full fare himself anyway.

Where I grew up, it was a condition of our bus passes for free travel, that we did not occupy a seat when an adult was standing.

And when I grew up, bus drivers and conductors, as well as parents, drilled this into us, and we were instructed on the buses etc.

Seems like nowadays, children are being taught that they always come first, whatever other people's needs.

That would depend on where the tram line is.

In London kids travel free.

why?

I used to put one of my DC on my knee when they were little. DS has skinnier legs. He sat on my knee in those situations until he was about 9.

in this scenario, isn't it adults who are entitled claiming they should somehow kick kids out of their seat to get one?

A child seating quietly literally IS polite behaviour.

No, children are being taught that it's common fucking sense that a grown ass man who can reach to hold the handrail should probably stand and hold it rather than making a five year old girl play human pinball around a moving metal box just because of "tradition."

they do need the seat a lot more, so surely it's a good thing people have finally recognised that and no longer treat kids like second-class citizen?

I have just looked up the standard fares for a single bus ticket in the city i’m from, and the place I live now.

City 1: Adult fare £3, child fare £2

City 2: Adult fare £3, child fare £2.50

Charges start from 5 years old.

Do 5 year olds pay for tickets? If not yabu and should have put her on your knee or stood yourself. Chicken on complimentary travel shouldn’t take up a seat (at least that’s uk rules) but each place is charging at different ages, here you pay from 5 usually

Good thing society has moved on then isn’t it.

I agree that chickens should not be on seats. 😉

(Please don't fix this typo it's excellent 😂)

Who cares if children pay or don't pay? How is that even relevant?

Older people and people with disabilities often have free travel passes. But they don't pay, so they have to give up their seat too?

Seriously?

In certain cultures it is the norm to let children sit on public transport, at least young children. In Thailand adults will stand up to give children their seats, for example.

At that age, I’d have put mine on my knee if it was really busy.

A person in her 20s capable of stand and reach the handles huffs because a five years old should give them their sit? Let's them huff.

Yes good point. My 5 year old is charged for the bus, while my 67 year old mum isn’t.

My rule is:

-I will let my 5 year old have a seat. (I would put my 2 year old on my lap)

-If i see any other young kids or vulnerable adults, i would offer them my seat (unless i had my 2 year old on my lap already).

-Any other non-disabled adult can stand.

-The fares for my 5 year old are another reason why i prefer to drive.

I believe children travel free on Melbourne public transport.

Mine isn’t? This is in London UK.

Oh thank you!

Well London is probably the exception.

Still doesn’t mean a 5 year old is safe standing up on a bus.

Good for them helping parents out with costs. Still doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be safe on public transport.

No.

When I see healthy high school students in bus queues pushng to get on first, taking up all the seats, and leaving older people or those with disabilities to stand, No, I don't think society has moved on.

Those children were taught by parents that they should consider themselves first. THat is not "moving on".