To let my daughter have a seat?

[NeedingAGoodNap]

I was on a tram in Melbourne recently with my 5 year old dd. We both managed to grab seats but the tram soon got busy and some people were standing.

A man, who appeared to be mid 20s, got annoyed that my daughter had a seat when adults were having to stand and was very vocal about this. He felt she should give him her seat!

I absolutely refused, we were on a low floor tram which can be very rocky and often stop very suddenly. My daughter is too short to reach any of the handles and would absolutely go flying if the tram hit the breaks. I also don’t feel like she needs to give her seat to a young adult just because she is a child.

Was I unreasonable to refuse to give him her seat?

My Mum used to make me stand to let adults sit when I was a child...

Perhaps he was having a tantrum, but a small child using a seat on a bumpy tram would annoy me too. She should have been on your lap. if lots of people were standing

No of course not. They're small enough to sit on a lap at 5. If they are paying the same as an adult then more reason for them to have seat. Definitely.

I think you’re completely fine unless there’s someone who needs a seat - I’d expect my kid to get up if there were elderly, pregnant, disabled etc passengers.

Presumably this man would have felt happy to mention if he had a disability as he was happy to moan!

I wouldn’t expect a kid to get up for a 20s adult as they’re of much the same ability to stand.

Children are allowed to have their own space, she was just as entitled to a seat as the man, more so as she was on there first. He was being completely unreasonable and rude.

5 is a bit big for Mum’s lap I think too. Maybe Dad’s lap but I bet he wouldn’t have moaned at a Dad!

Agree. But then it can be quite tricky to fit everyone in with lack of legroom for taller men!

i’m 153cm (5ft) and my 5 year old is alreadt 110cm. So not like a little kid.

Also, i absolutely love your username!

Same. I am in a wheelchair so not me personally, but my brother definitely was in that time period.

People like that bloke are such tools. It's like they don't see children as real people. Your DD is a person too and deserves to sit down as much as any one. If someone less able to stand needed the seat, I would stand myself to let them sit, but my little girl is very small to navigate sharp braking and turns on a speedy bus or tram, and she is also entitled to a safe and steady journey.

Op you did the right thing he was being a selfish man child why should you put a kid on your knees even if you could have she has a right to a seat like anyone else.

people are idiots. Children are just as entitled to a seat as they are, and they need the seat a lot more because it's harder to hold on and they do get pushed around if they stand.

The price argument is just stupid. Are you more entitled to a seat in a train because you paid full price while someone had a cheaper rate because they booked earlier or something? of course not.

A normally fit adult claiming they should have the seat are just lazy. If there's hidden disability or injury, they can ask anyone, no need to target a child who is going to be too shy to stand up for themselves.

Children should never have a seat on their own if there are adults standing.Absolutely ridiculous the way children are pandered to nowadays.

😂

I was taught always to stand if an adult needed a seatas a child.

Yeah, my dad used to make me stand up for adults on the Tube when I was a kid.

Put the child on your lap. Really selfish of you to let a small child have a seat when adults are standing.

What the actual hell. Of course a 5 year old should have a seat! A male mid 20s does not need a seat more than a 5 year child how ridiculous! Laps are for babies and toddlers and a 5 year old is neither! Why do women have to suffer an uncomfortable journey with a heavy child on their lap to accommodate a man?!!

Yeah, much better that they drag themselves up by their own bootstraps and then end up on parenting forums decades later berating other mothers for not wanting their kids to be injured.

As children, we always had to give up our seats for adults. It doesn't seem to be the case today, but then a lot of behaviour that was deemed polite in the past has been abandoned by entitled adults.

Absolutely ridiculous how adults have contempt for small children nowadays.

I much more able to be safe when standing and navigate balance when turning round corners or sudden stops or roundabouts than my 5 year old is.

Anyone who takes a seat off a little kid is on an ego trip. ‘I am an adult and therefore i am better than you’

Children don’t deserve a seat???? I’ve heard it all now! People are fucking idiots. It’s not the 1900s!!! I’d have looked him square in the eye and told him
to do one.

If children travel free under a certain age and there's a reason they can't lap sit, the considerate thing would be for the parent to stand giving their DC their seat. This is always framed as the child versus the random adult, when really its about should a person with a child use two seats when paying for one.

Oh, how we need a laugh emoji!

😂😂
Yes, there’s so often a reason they conveniently forgot to mention. No lap because she’s 7.5 months pregnant, perhaps?

Well, it’s very entitled for him to demand that anyone get up for him.

I would automatically give up my seat for:

• People with disabilities
• Pregnant women
• The elderly
• Children under 10
• Anyone who asks politely (would assume they either have an unseen disability, or are in early pregnancy, or have a legit reason- no, I wouldn’t ask for their reason).

A young adult, able bodied man having a tantrum about a seat? He can get stuffed as far as I’m concerned.