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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No sir (or madam) I don’t want intimate knowledge of your nether regions through the medium of flesh coloured scrunchbum pants and inappropriate swimwear that clings to your flaccid member ***title edited by MNHQ to correct a typo***

198 replies

BookOfBritishBirds · 08/03/2026 12:21

Totally get that in theory everyone has a right to wear what they wish but even so…I theory I have a right to not have to walk around looking at the floor

Curses. Nether. Not meter.

OP posts:
Weeelokthen · 08/03/2026 14:33

Ihateboris · 08/03/2026 12:36

Nipple showing is also a thing. Why?? Just why?

😂

Weeelokthen · 08/03/2026 14:33

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 08/03/2026 14:23

Oh no, she wasn't one of the young women who, err.... distracted your husband, recently, was she?

😂

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 14:47

I don't mind seeing evidence that people have bodies under their clothes.

Bertiebiscuit · 08/03/2026 14:48

Several men - Old enough to know better (with skinny white knobbly looking legs) were wearing shorts in church at my granddaughter's carol service - yes, in December, in draughty church - WTF? Unacceptable - i just don't want to see this - bad enough in summer! And don't get me started on blokes going topless in public transport in summer - with a t shirt tucked into the arse of their horrible shorts. In Spain they would get fined. What is wrong with them?

BunnyLake · 08/03/2026 14:49

Holymolyrigmorole · 08/03/2026 12:23

You don’t need to look at the floor or their crotches/arses. How about pointing your gaze to their faces?

Why do we all have to walk like robots in order to not accidentally catch a glimpse of someone’s bits they have taken so much trouble to highlight? Do people just have no decorum now?

DancingNotDrowning · 08/03/2026 14:50

There’s a woman at my gym who is impressively surgically enhanced and wears a bikini in the pool that consists of so little fabric it barely seems worth it.

The top just sort of perches on the end of her nipples and it’s very difficult to avoid. Generally I’m of the wear what you want mindset but I really wish she wouldn’t. If that makes me a bad feminist so be it 🤷‍♀️

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 08/03/2026 14:51

Ohfuckrucksack · 08/03/2026 12:44

Some nipples just resist even several layers of fabric.

Male nipples are frequently on display too - they're just not as useful.

I don't really have a problem with them - probably too many years of exposure to them on TV as a child/young adult.

In particular I have absolute no issue of nipple visibility when breastfeeding - wherever that happens.

Mine do. Even when I‘m not cold. I no longer fight against it 😂

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/03/2026 14:51

Itstimeforachangeagain · 08/03/2026 12:32

Bit difficult when you are sat on a bus and the flaming arses of these people waiting to get off are directly in your line of vision. You need to look at the floor or the ceiling.
I had the misfortune once when my totally naked alcoholic first H was very drunk to have to try and stop him sitting on the edge of the bath and pooing into it. The sight of that quite literally comes into my memory every time I see these women flaunting their buttocks to the world. It bemuses me how they have been conned into thinking bums are actually attractive.

Wtf?!

Itsmetheflamingo · 08/03/2026 14:52

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 14:47

I don't mind seeing evidence that people have bodies under their clothes.

<clutches pearls> they do not!

JudgeJ · 08/03/2026 14:52

BookOfBritishBirds · 08/03/2026 14:08

Same man at swimming pool should have the decency to invest in swimwear which is fit for purpose. Interestingly IMO budgie smugglers are considerably less alarming than semi damp cheesecloth in a pale colour that shows everything.

Its a form of oppression.

Do you apply the same 'logic' to the 3 triangles of flimsy material that are called a bikini by some women. Great thread for airing MN hypocrisy though.

SpringIsSpringing2026 · 08/03/2026 14:53

ilovesooty · 08/03/2026 12:34

What a strange thread.

Very!

Bertiebiscuit · 08/03/2026 14:53

When Beyonce was on at the O2 the Jubilee line was packed with young women wearing cowboy hats and boots and "shorts" so small their gynaecologists could have examined them.
It was really difficult to not to see and unsee them. 🤢🤢🤢. I never want to be in a squashed tube carriage with that many bare arse cheeks even again. Stuff of nightmares

brightnails · 08/03/2026 14:54

could literally see a girl’s under bum cheeks in Starbucks the other day coz she was wearing a tutu and high cut shorts under it- not like cycling shorts-and platform boots elevating her, nearly gave myself whiplash turning away

SSHandWC · 08/03/2026 14:57

Op, I don't know why but this has decked me, I'm giggling like an idiot.

Itstimeforachangeagain · 08/03/2026 15:04

Tbh i feel totally ashamed about how pathetic a lot of women are now.

I' ve always regarded myself as a feminist. I was one of those who marched for the rights for abortion. Who stormed the male only pubs for the rights of women to go into previously male only spaces. Who supported equal pay etc.
And what have we got now: a whole swathe of women who denegrate themselves by calling themselves " girls' , who subject themselves to cosmetic surgery and invasive procedures to conform to a male centred view that only young and " perfect" women are worth anything, who wear clothes inspired by porn stars, who admire female singers and artists marketed for their bodies not their talent. Men have done a real job on us. And women are buying into it big style.Totally depressing.

surrealpotato · 08/03/2026 15:07

Ohfuckrucksack · 08/03/2026 12:34

Meh. The right for people to choose what they wear is simply more important than other people's right not to have to move their heads when they see something they don't like.

If you're walking behind them and can't move your head (maybe it's in a brace?) then walk faster.

Aren't people sitting down in church?

Why is it more important? Why do we live in a culture where "doing whatever I want, all the time", is the only thing that ever matters? Why is that sacred?

YANBU OP. I find it distasteful to see women walking around in what used to be considered underwear: skin tight hot pants and vest top, for example- camel toe on full display and shorts almost transparent enough I can see their butthole when they bend down. Not very classy at all.

butterpuffed · 08/03/2026 15:12

SerendipityCat · 08/03/2026 12:29

Bloody hell, what kind of church is this?

The Church of the Non-Existent 😶

ThatCyanCat · 08/03/2026 15:12

Why is it more important? Why do we live in a culture where "doing whatever I want, all the time", is the only thing that ever matters? Why is that sacred?

It's not whatever you want all the time, but it's definitely important to be able to wear hideous and tasteless clothes that other people don't like if you want to. Within a margin of decency, if you're in public.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 08/03/2026 15:15

I agree OP but was expecting this thread in the Summer. I honestly don't get the 'don't look then' replies. People who dress like this desperately want to be looked at. They are either intentionally provocative and attention seeking or they are following a herd because they dont know any better. Either way it screams low self esteem. We live in a free society and they are entitled to dress as they wish, but i am therefore entitled to look or not look as I wish. I am entitled to form my opinion on it and i am entitled to think they look pathetic.

Lovemycat2023 · 08/03/2026 15:18

In together other day I could see far too much of the guy next to me’s boxers. I wish I’d said something. Any suggestions (other than “pull your trousers up!)

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 08/03/2026 15:20

5128gap · 08/03/2026 13:40

Social norms around which areas of our bodies we should show or conceal constantly change and evolve. This is no doubt how the Victorians felt when women showed the outline of their legs in divided skirts to ride bikes, and how they reacted to the hint of midriff exposed by the first bikini.
Typically people chunter about it for a bit, then the novelty wears off and it becomes everyday, or fashions change and another part of the body becomes the focus of outrage.

And this is why we are now reduced to wearing transparent barely there clothes. No one was getting airiated about showing flesh any more. So we need actual fake buttholes and nipples. Progress innit.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 08/03/2026 15:22

Lovemycat2023 · 08/03/2026 15:18

In together other day I could see far too much of the guy next to me’s boxers. I wish I’d said something. Any suggestions (other than “pull your trousers up!)

The boxers thing, I just itch to pull them up. It’s too reminiscent of Toddlers in a soggy nappy.

Chap working on my street left me needing eye bleach. Not so much builders bum, as tarmackers full actual moon, all reddish and purple from the cold. Honestly I don’t know what was keeping them partially on.

ThatCyanCat · 08/03/2026 15:24

Dontlletmedownbruce · 08/03/2026 15:15

I agree OP but was expecting this thread in the Summer. I honestly don't get the 'don't look then' replies. People who dress like this desperately want to be looked at. They are either intentionally provocative and attention seeking or they are following a herd because they dont know any better. Either way it screams low self esteem. We live in a free society and they are entitled to dress as they wish, but i am therefore entitled to look or not look as I wish. I am entitled to form my opinion on it and i am entitled to think they look pathetic.

I honestly don't get the 'don't look then' replies. People who dress like this desperately want to be looked at.

So... don't give them what they want!

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/03/2026 15:26

Holymolyrigmorole · 08/03/2026 12:23

You don’t need to look at the floor or their crotches/arses. How about pointing your gaze to their faces?

Crotches and arses are at my eye level. Unless I want a permanent crick in my neck, thats what I have to live with.

Won't anyone think about wheelchair users when they select the days clothes eh?

shhblackbag · 08/03/2026 15:36

Meter regions in the headline had me confused. This is meh. Just look elsewhere.