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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No sir (or madam) I don’t want intimate knowledge of your nether regions through the medium of flesh coloured scrunchbum pants and inappropriate swimwear that clings to your flaccid member ***title edited by MNHQ to correct a typo***

198 replies

BookOfBritishBirds · 08/03/2026 12:21

Totally get that in theory everyone has a right to wear what they wish but even so…I theory I have a right to not have to walk around looking at the floor

Curses. Nether. Not meter.

OP posts:
HerLadySheep · 08/03/2026 15:41

I’ve recently been in holiday….there really should be some screening process before people are allowed to buy thong swimsuits. I do not want to see bare arse cheeks that look like a sack of lumpy custard 🤢

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 15:46

Itstimeforachangeagain · 08/03/2026 15:04

Tbh i feel totally ashamed about how pathetic a lot of women are now.

I' ve always regarded myself as a feminist. I was one of those who marched for the rights for abortion. Who stormed the male only pubs for the rights of women to go into previously male only spaces. Who supported equal pay etc.
And what have we got now: a whole swathe of women who denegrate themselves by calling themselves " girls' , who subject themselves to cosmetic surgery and invasive procedures to conform to a male centred view that only young and " perfect" women are worth anything, who wear clothes inspired by porn stars, who admire female singers and artists marketed for their bodies not their talent. Men have done a real job on us. And women are buying into it big style.Totally depressing.

Edited

Wanted to reply to this in feminist solidarity (hi, sister!) I was doing all those things, too, and I broadly share your concerns. Not about clothing, though. My first real activism was in 1973, a time when people our age - of both sexes - were wearing a lot of cheesecloth, crochet and fine Indian cotton. Mostly transparent (we didn't wear bras). Men's trousers were ... snug in the crotch. Both men's and women's shorts were very short indeed.

Clothing isn't a feminist issue, imo. Most of the objection to women in revealing clothing is about men's expected reactions to it, assuming the women are advertising their bodies. So what if they are?

DameOfThrones · 08/03/2026 15:46

HerLadySheep · 08/03/2026 15:41

I’ve recently been in holiday….there really should be some screening process before people are allowed to buy thong swimsuits. I do not want to see bare arse cheeks that look like a sack of lumpy custard 🤢

So it's not the thong you dislike, just less than perfect bottoms?

Who decides though?

A panel of panel of judges in the changing room?

Itstimeforachangeagain · 08/03/2026 15:59

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 15:46

Wanted to reply to this in feminist solidarity (hi, sister!) I was doing all those things, too, and I broadly share your concerns. Not about clothing, though. My first real activism was in 1973, a time when people our age - of both sexes - were wearing a lot of cheesecloth, crochet and fine Indian cotton. Mostly transparent (we didn't wear bras). Men's trousers were ... snug in the crotch. Both men's and women's shorts were very short indeed.

Clothing isn't a feminist issue, imo. Most of the objection to women in revealing clothing is about men's expected reactions to it, assuming the women are advertising their bodies. So what if they are?

Well i think the prevalence of porn has changed things as regards clothing.
Yes in the past women wore revealing clothing. But it wasn't influenced by porn, and Only Fans, and social media the way it is now. And there is no " innocence " about clothing now that to some extent there was in the past.

thegreatreckoning · 08/03/2026 16:05

Pricesandvices · 08/03/2026 12:54

Flesh colours scrunch bum leggings in the gym are fascinating. Our entire circuit class were WTAF at a young woman who walked past in them.
Black isn't too bad. The flesh ones are hilarious.

I spent a walking tour behind a young woman wearing these in Italy last year. She kept muscling her way to the front of the group, so there was no escaping her arse.

shuggles · 08/03/2026 16:06

@GarlicFound Clothing isn't a feminist issue, imo. Most of the objection to women in revealing clothing is about men's expected reactions to it, assuming the women are advertising their bodies.

The women who wear revealing clothing are overwhelmingly clear that it has nothing to do with men.

HerLadySheep · 08/03/2026 16:23

DameOfThrones · 08/03/2026 15:46

So it's not the thong you dislike, just less than perfect bottoms?

Who decides though?

A panel of panel of judges in the changing room?

I don’t want to see anyone’s bare bum, I think wearing a thong in public is vile, and I can only imagine that some of the wearers do not possess a full length mirror.

Changednameagain999 · 08/03/2026 16:25

I was walking on a tourist path along the beach yesterday in canaries and very very old very very tanned man was sitting completely naked grinning at everyone passing. I averted my eyes.

BookOfBritishBirds · 08/03/2026 16:33

It’s an interesting observation that though my OP tried to be gender neutral, criticism of women on this thread is much more prevalent.

I find flesh coloured scrunch bum leggings unattractive but my immediate reaction is not as visceral as seeing a man’s bits through thin cloth. My feeling is that the former is fairly unwise but the latter revolting.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 08/03/2026 16:38

Holymolyrigmorole · 08/03/2026 12:23

You don’t need to look at the floor or their crotches/arses. How about pointing your gaze to their faces?

To be fair its difficult to tear your eyes away. Its a bit like passing s car crash.

BlueJuniper94 · 08/03/2026 16:40

5128gap · 08/03/2026 13:40

Social norms around which areas of our bodies we should show or conceal constantly change and evolve. This is no doubt how the Victorians felt when women showed the outline of their legs in divided skirts to ride bikes, and how they reacted to the hint of midriff exposed by the first bikini.
Typically people chunter about it for a bit, then the novelty wears off and it becomes everyday, or fashions change and another part of the body becomes the focus of outrage.

It's not really another part instead of, it is as well as.

My2cents1975 · 08/03/2026 16:45
Animated GIF

IMHO, some summer fashions are concerning from a public health perspective.

Bare bums on public transportation...is a form of microbiological bravery...

Foundress · 08/03/2026 16:48

Itstimeforachangeagain · 08/03/2026 15:04

Tbh i feel totally ashamed about how pathetic a lot of women are now.

I' ve always regarded myself as a feminist. I was one of those who marched for the rights for abortion. Who stormed the male only pubs for the rights of women to go into previously male only spaces. Who supported equal pay etc.
And what have we got now: a whole swathe of women who denegrate themselves by calling themselves " girls' , who subject themselves to cosmetic surgery and invasive procedures to conform to a male centred view that only young and " perfect" women are worth anything, who wear clothes inspired by porn stars, who admire female singers and artists marketed for their bodies not their talent. Men have done a real job on us. And women are buying into it big style.Totally depressing.

Edited

Completely agree with you. My late DM often used to lament ‘haven’t they got a full length mirror in the house’.

Womaninhouse17 · 08/03/2026 16:48

BlueEyedBogWitch · 08/03/2026 12:24

Why do people wear clothes that reveal and enhance body parts if they don’t want people to look at them?

I have to admit I feel the same when women wear very low cut tops though I expect that could be an unpopular opinion on here. I'm not saying that they are asking to be assaulted or harassed. We should be able to wear what we want without fear of attack. But really - if you don't want people to look at something, cover it up.

igelkott2026 · 08/03/2026 16:50

I hate those flesh coloured leggings, it makes it look like they are naked from a distance away!

MrsHaroldWilson · 08/03/2026 16:55

I saw a woman in town at midday yesterday in a group of what looked like hens, wearing a very short dress that just covered her bum - fair enough - but then she started tugging at the neckline and it rode right up, fully exposing her bum. She had on black pants under sheer black tights so it could have been worse. She didn't pull it down again till she was happy with the neckline, not sure if she realised what she was showing to a packed city centreBlush

Soufriere · 08/03/2026 17:01

HerLadySheep · 08/03/2026 15:41

I’ve recently been in holiday….there really should be some screening process before people are allowed to buy thong swimsuits. I do not want to see bare arse cheeks that look like a sack of lumpy custard 🤢

We’re just back from a holiday. Thankfully, very few thong bikinis on display, but the owners of the 2 or 3 that were, needed a re-think.

Having a tanned arse may be important to some, but if it means subjecting others to a dimpled, fat arse in all its glory, I’d think it’s not worth it. It was however, quite funny to spot people’s reactions when said bare bums walked by.

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 08/03/2026 17:04

Soufriere · 08/03/2026 17:01

We’re just back from a holiday. Thankfully, very few thong bikinis on display, but the owners of the 2 or 3 that were, needed a re-think.

Having a tanned arse may be important to some, but if it means subjecting others to a dimpled, fat arse in all its glory, I’d think it’s not worth it. It was however, quite funny to spot people’s reactions when said bare bums walked by.

What if said bums were nice and pert and firm?. Would you have objected?

Soufriere · 08/03/2026 17:06

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 08/03/2026 17:04

What if said bums were nice and pert and firm?. Would you have objected?

Yes, but not as much. I don’t really get having your arse on display full stop - even if it’s young and peachy.

MonstrousRegimentRocks · 08/03/2026 17:11

Soufriere · 08/03/2026 17:06

Yes, but not as much. I don’t really get having your arse on display full stop - even if it’s young and peachy.

"not as much" 😂
Question answered! 😉

DameOfThrones · 08/03/2026 17:16

HerLadySheep · 08/03/2026 16:23

I don’t want to see anyone’s bare bum, I think wearing a thong in public is vile, and I can only imagine that some of the wearers do not possess a full length mirror.

Well that makes more sense than what you said which was

"I do not want to see bare arse cheeks that look like a sack of lumpy custard"

Echobelly · 08/03/2026 17:20

I do think 'arse pants' as I call them, at the gym, are a bit ridiculous. OK, you have arse cheeks, thanks for letting us know.

DuchessofStaffordshire · 08/03/2026 17:38

The scrunch-bum leggings do call to mind the displays put on by baboons and mandrills when attempting to attract mates.

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 17:38

shuggles · 08/03/2026 16:06

@GarlicFound Clothing isn't a feminist issue, imo. Most of the objection to women in revealing clothing is about men's expected reactions to it, assuming the women are advertising their bodies.

The women who wear revealing clothing are overwhelmingly clear that it has nothing to do with men.

I'm taking about the objectors, not the wearers.

canuckup · 08/03/2026 17:55

Tumescent

😂