Enjoying quiet drink & elder man approaches

[IndigoBluey]

I had a much needed free and solo afternoon today. Went for a long walk in the sun, coffee, just enjoyed being by myself for once. I was keen to see the rugby score and so stopped off for a drink in a local pub by myself. I am a 34 year old woman. It was such a fun atmosphere. Until, an older guy, maybe 70 saddled up to my table and started to engage in chat. I wasn’t in the mood, I was really keen to watch the match and this was the final ten minutes. He asked a few questions and when I didn’t answer he just stood right by me where I was sat down looking and smiling. I felt really awkward and aware that others in the pub were looking now. He then asked my name and I quite directly told him I just want to watch the match. He then left in a huff. I felt a little bad after, thinking maybe I was rude and worse, he was lonely and wanted some chat but then there were other older men on their own standing at the bar so he could have chatted with them. Anyway off he went and I left after the match ended about 15 minutes later to walk home and saw him on the corner of the street five minutes along, fine as it it a small town but awkward as he clocked me. Was I rude or is it fine to say no thanks to chat to random people

Nobody has to engage with anybody in a public bar.

It’s not Hyacinth Bucket’s finger buffet evening!

Errrrrr Why would you say that.

Should have told him to rein it in

Don’t want to spur him on!

Just say neigh nay.

Don't stirrup any trouble...if you take the wrong tack he may bridle

....like someone else posted here: "until someone is actually unpleasant to me I explain with a smile that sorry, I'm really not in the mood for conversation but I hope they enjoy the rest of the match (or whatever).
If course, I'm not sorry, but I at least attempt to get things clear without upsetting myself or the deluded old fucker who's made an unwelcome beeline for me.
If they don't back off, I turn my back or move away"

He was in a pub full of people yet he chose to talk to a younger woman on her own

he was being friendly because he wanted an ego boost wanted to make himself feel good by chatting to the young women

Good for you for not engaging you are not there for his entertainment

I politely told a man on a train that I didn't want conversation, thank you. I received a tirade of abuse and he informed me what a stuck-up bitch I was.

Thank you, random man, for proving my instincts were correct.

Also, just what is it about large, visible headphones and a nose buried in a device that suggested I yearned for his company?

I once got off a train & back on 2 carriages down because the man next to me simply wouldn’t shut up.

When I was looking at my magazine he kept commenting on the article I was reading. When I said I had a headache & wanted to be quiet he just kept talking. In the end I muttered something about this being my stop & my boyfriend would be waiting for me outside.

It meant I had to stand until I got home but luckily for me it was a fairly short journey. If I’d been on a non-stop cross-country train or something I’d have been fucked.

It depends - if he's behaving like a creep then yes a half smile may well be too much.... I guess I'd have to be op in this case and experience for myself how the guy was behaving in order to know for sure how I'd react. I'm probably too polite and then like you say, some assholes take that as a green light (silly sods that they are).

I was talking about a time when a bloke had been trying to chat me up in the local supermarket of all places (‘Oh hi, I saw you in the gym…’) & I’d just wanted him to leave me in peace.

The women were nodding but BIL said ‘But it must still have been nice to know he fancied you…’

No. It was irritating.

I dunno....I find these things a compliment (as long as he's not creepy!)

He may not have been aggressive. But he's like a man who comes and sits on the same bench as you. At first it's fine, but then he moves 2 inches closer and then 2 inches closer again and, little by little, he gets into your space and so you shuffle along. And before you know it, you're squeezed at one end with his sticky thigh pressing against yours. Each of his movements has been, individually, small and inoffensive and if you object to any one of them, you look unreasonable. But he knows what he's doing and it requires you, at some point, to tell him to fuck off. He'll look offended and hurt; but stay strong. He's taking the piss and he knows he is

Mate. Raise your bar.

I never find it complimentary and wish men would bore off with their sexual attention. Luckily I'm old and mostly invisible to them now.

Well I'm 52 and becoming more and more invisible now ...so a compliment from a non creepy guy would not be the worst thing in the world 😂

I'm a little older, and it's a blessed relief.

I hated just going about my life and some rando imposes his demand for sexual attention. Fuck that shitm

I’m 52 as well. He was perfectly polite & didn’t push it when I said (equally politely) that I wasn’t interested so I can’t fault his manners.

I can still do without it though.

I feel its a relief too not to deal with the staring, the jokes that are not funny, the flirting, the over friendliness

I simply don't care at all what so random man thinks of me and find it extremely annoying when they think I do or should care