Do you give mothers day card to your mother in law?

[Bettyboops1]

Just curious. There was a post on here the other day where OP did not know if she would give her MIL a mothers day card after MIL cut her off. The reply’s seemed to be more focused on peoples astonishment that OP gave her MIL a mothers day card in the first place, and wondering why her children gave their grandmother a mothers day card. I personally give every year, she is DH mum , and I encourage my DC to write a mothers day card to their grandma plus a gift from myself and DH and a gift from the children. I thought this was really normal, but reading the post the other day it is apparently scoffed upon and wife work nonsense? Thoughts? Whats the norm?

God no!!!

i live in a county where over half are first language welsh, I could not speak english fluently until I was at least 7, same for my children, my DD is 4 and is only just starting to say a few English words which sounds very strange to us all but, the forum posted on is an all wales forum :) it certainly is normal where I live and seems to reflect the opinions on the forum I posted on as well.

It is normal 😊 ... where i come from anyway lol. Just not to most posters on here (which has really shocked me tbh)

I always get for MIL & FIL from the children ... i dont understand people who dont 🤷‍♀️

I don’t really care why others do, a lot of the posts seem completely alien to me as it’s not what I’ve experienced with my family or my friends. You seem happy with it, so I’m not sure what the problem is? Personally it’s not the sort of role model that I would want as a father, one who left all the present buying and card giving to their wife, but if you’re happy with it, then there’s no problem surely?

This ⬆️

Plenty of cards in the shops saying 'grandma' 'granny' 'nanny' etc ... how can it be bonkers!!

Nope. Not my Mum so not my job. DH sorts a card and gift for his DM. I sort a card and gift for mine. The kids make cards for DM and MIL. If I'm out shopping and happen to see something I think MIL might like I might message DH and offer to get it for her. But he also does the same if he sees something either of my DP's would like in the run up to their birthdays, christmas etc.

Haha! Me too, I ALWAYS give mil a card off my children her grandchildren 😊

Moonpig currently have 2 sections specifically for grandmothers ready for mothers day :)

But you can't be a grandmother without being a mother first. So granny still gets a card, from her child not her grandchildren. She's not missing out.

There is no problem. But im not too keen on the insinuation that my DH is a poor role model simply for not buying a card he knows I’ve already got for his mother. As far as DC are concerned they dont know who gets the card, they just know that their grandmother does get a card, their mother does, their grandmother who has passed gets a lovely bouquet on her grave as well as my 2 grandmothers. So they are seeing love and respect for all motherly figures all around

Joint one from both of us. Because she is his mum, and my mum-in-law, so should be a mother figure for us both, ideally, just as when she is old, I will care for her just as I would for my own mum who gave birth to me.
When the kids are very little, I'd make sure (with husband's help!) they get cards for anyone else who has a mothering role, so grannies, maybe aunts/god mums if there are any, and when they're older, pay for these.

Same! Why would you? The best Mum in the world sentiments etc. are for MY darling mum

Our DC have always got mothers/fathers day cards for their grandparents. Between us we would buy a card for my mum and MIL, both cards would be written from both of us. To me it would be strange not to do this.

Even my name would have been on the card to xmIL who was absolutely vile (although I wouldn't have reminded XH to have bought one for her).

I send my (ex)MIL flowers - she doesn't speak to my ex whereas I am still in contact. I did the same when we were still married.

Grandparents day is the 4th October this year. According to Google so it does exist.

But its NEVER advertised like mothers or father's day ... u do not see stuff in card shops etc ...

Well that’s because it’s not as saleable because people mostly are not fussed about a grandparents day.

But if you wanted to celebrate grandparents you could on their day. Flowers are available every day of the year as are chocolates and other gifts. Cards can be personalised on moonpig and such.

Same here! I suppose a lot of mothers in law around here, and grandparents in general, are local and as such, are close to their children and grandchildren. As such, they’re cherished and there’s little of the NC that seems so prevalent on Mumsnet. I’m not saying that all relationships are perfect of course, but during my long teaching career, it was evident that grandparents played a huge part in their grandchildren’s upbringing. I don’t think that we would have had a third child all those years ago (last century!) were it not for the support of my late MIL.

Mother’s Day was just one opportunity to celebrate that wonderful relationship. So what if it was me buying the card for MIL! The girls would make their own cards for both Nains and it was emotional finding all the cards that they had made in a drawer after my MIL died.

I must say, I’m surprised at the number of people who haven’t heard of anyone giving cards to grandmothers; there are always so many cards available in the card shops! Our DDs have always given cards to both Grandmas.

My DH does his mum and I do mine but if DH passed I would take over. She has been my MIL for over 20 years. TBH, even if we split I would still get her something as she has been a
in my life for so long.

They do - as mothers. They don’t stop being mothers just because they’re also grandmothers!

This. Just wouldn’t have occurred to me, she wasn’t my mother! I have no idea if he did or not - not my circus. It’s not like he would buy my mum one!

Not wholly in response to you here, more in general really, but I do want to add, as someone who very much thinks Mother’s Day should be something between the mother and the children (with help from their dad or someone else if they’re not old enough!) and as such I would definitely expect my DH to sort the card, flowers present etc for his mum (which he always has done) - just because I think it’s his job, doesn’t mean I don’t absolutely adore his mum. She is truly wonderful and I love her dearly. I do loads for her, I’ve played a big part in choosing birthday and Xmas presents for her over the years, give her little gifts any time if I see something she’d like. I bake for her, cook for her, chat with her even though she’s SO chatty and I get exhausted!, I’ve looked after her when she’s sick. Just as much husband has. But I still think he should (and he does) do Mother’s Day because it should be more special from him.

Yes I used to when she was alive.

I buy a grandma card from my son for my MIL if I’m buying my mum one but my husband will do the same in return