Do you give mothers day card to your mother in law?

[Bettyboops1]

Just curious. There was a post on here the other day where OP did not know if she would give her MIL a mothers day card after MIL cut her off. The reply’s seemed to be more focused on peoples astonishment that OP gave her MIL a mothers day card in the first place, and wondering why her children gave their grandmother a mothers day card. I personally give every year, she is DH mum , and I encourage my DC to write a mothers day card to their grandma plus a gift from myself and DH and a gift from the children. I thought this was really normal, but reading the post the other day it is apparently scoffed upon and wife work nonsense? Thoughts? Whats the norm?

Yes, when our Mothers were alive, we got a Mother’s Day card for both of them, signed by both of us. I can’t imagine not doing so if your relationship with them is loving. Different, of course, if you don’t t get on.

No..She is not your mother. And no presents either. Leave it to your Dear Husband.

I always find it interesting how many people see cards as a red line in a relationship. When the whole ‘mental load’ thing blew up a few years ago cards were given as one example and folk seem to have taken it very seriously.

Yes, I gave my Mil a card, and my DM and I can’t stand either of them. I gave my DiL one too..I know she’s not my mother ,but she is A mother . My mistake #1 never bought cards for anyone, mistake #2 did his own DM cards and gifts

That’s very thoughtful.

yes every year

“You buy a card? For someone else? Whilst you’re in the shop already?!! Good God whats the matter with you woman?! LTB now and make a better life for yourself this instant! It will ruin your children and your childrens children!!” 😅

My DH adds my name to his card and gift. I help kids buy gifts and cards for both sets of grandparents too.

I've had one MIL, she called me a clatty bitch, so no.

Well that is more than fair enough!

Yes I always bought my MIL a card when she was alive - she was lovely ,,plus I didn’t have a DM to buy for

I always bought a card for mil when buying one for my mum , but left husband to buy her present and to deliver them to her.
After my mum died I left it to my husband to buy his mother’s cards and presents . He died 3 years after my mum and several years before MIL so she never had any more cards/ presents from me . She had another 5 children to buy for her and all her 11 DGC were adults so sent her their own cards and presents . She didn’t need more from me .
Saying this , I was close to her and being a nurse I helped to care for her when she was dying of cancer .

I don't - and not only because she's been dead for 2 and a half years. When both our mums were alive, I gave a card to mine, and he gave a card to his (though they both had quite bad dementia towards the end and probably didn't know what it was all about).

I did like to give my own separate birthday and Christmas presents to my in-laws when they could still appreciate them, because they were interesting people to choose for and DH wasn't all that imaginative. But as far as I'm concerned, Mother's Day and Father's Day are for your mother and father, or maybe someone who was like a mother or father to you, not someone who came into your life in your adulthood and never actually played a part in your upbringing.

Its a red flag that a man can't be bothered to buy a card for his own mum when he is already in a shop himself.

Not mine no. I've never met a woman least motherly in my life and my own was amazing.

However I'd make an effort yes if we got on without a doubt.

DH buys it but we sign it from all of us.

But I’ve already got it covered before he gets to the shop to sort mine? (Please see previous comments) My DH is green flags all around thank you, I confirmed that a good few years before agreeing to marry him :)

I find the whole grandchildren writing cards for grandparents on mother's or father's day bizarre,that's not their parents and there is a grandparents day??

I found it bizarre that people didn’t do that. Its obviously one of those things in life you think everyone does and then you find out that they dont and your left like “Whhaaaaaat?!” 😂

I do too, it was a thing when I was younger (and I’m old!) and something we do with my DD, I just assumed everyone was doing the same.

I have always bought MIL a card when i buy one for DM, DH does lots of things to help me so it is just part of iur labour divide. However DMIL always buys me a mothers day card thanking me for being a good mum to her grandchildren. I think this is so sweet

I don't do cards for my MIL to be honest, it always feels a bit awkward. But I do try to get her something thoughtful.this year I got her a personalized birth flower decoration with all the grandkids names and their birth flowers on it. She absolutely loved it, way more personal than a card ever could be! Found it on Amazon here if anyone's looking for a similar idea:www.amazon.com/Personalized-Grandma-Mothers-Grandkids-Christmas/dp/B0GTV5YC56/?th=1