Do you give mothers day card to your mother in law?

[Bettyboops1]

Just curious. There was a post on here the other day where OP did not know if she would give her MIL a mothers day card after MIL cut her off. The reply’s seemed to be more focused on peoples astonishment that OP gave her MIL a mothers day card in the first place, and wondering why her children gave their grandmother a mothers day card. I personally give every year, she is DH mum , and I encourage my DC to write a mothers day card to their grandma plus a gift from myself and DH and a gift from the children. I thought this was really normal, but reading the post the other day it is apparently scoffed upon and wife work nonsense? Thoughts? Whats the norm?

But I do it? So why would he buy another one knowing that I already have? Im sure if I absolutely refused to do this he probably would grab a card.

Not a separate one, my husband always puts both our names on his Mothers day card, she says she likes it but I doubt my mother would so i just put my name on hers.

So there's never a year when he think to get your card before you've bought one for his mum? There's no reason he can't be in one shop buying three cards; for you, his mum and your mum.

Well like I’ve said before my mum died so no he would not get her one. And no, hes a farmer, ive usually got everything sorted before he has a second to think untill he says something the day before like “crap its mothers day come on kids shop lets go go go” mothers day falls in the middle of our lambing you see so he is more than busy keeping alive and birthing 500+ ewes and pet lambs :) “he usually says something like can you watch the shed I need to take the kids somewhere? Did you get a card for…?” To which i say yes and all is well

Sorry, I missed about your mum.

I don't think it's a big deal you buy his mum her card if you are in a shop first. It's just a bit odd you seem to see it so rigidily as your job because you are always the organised one.

Never did. She was not my mother.

I don’t buy her one, but I jointly sign the cards he buys for her. He signs my cards for my DM. It’s just something we’ve always done.

I’m from a similar background and understand completely where you’re coming from. It works for you and it works for us too and has done for 35 years! No need to be precious about who does what, we all pitch in and do what we can according to own strengths and preferences. Makes for a very easy-going and stable life!

i have never even considered sending a card to anyone who isn’t my Mum on Mother’s Day. I don’t think She expects a card from my husband or child. That seems very strange to me

No, she’s a wife still married!

It certainly makes life easier :)

Nope, nor Mother Teresa.

We have our wedding anniversary and birthdays to celebrate, as these have meaning to us. Personally, I've no interest at all in 'Hallmark' days like Mothering Sunday, Fathers' Day and Valentine's Day (the point surely being that you're not supposed to know who sent you the card). If my DC didn't bother with this I wouldn't lose any sleep whatsoever - both our birthdays fall at this time of year anyway and we usually spend time away during the spring break which makes this time of year special in any event.

Mothering Sunday can be hard on those of us who have struggled with the loss of our mothers. My own mother died very young and I have no wish to engage in a celebration of MiL, a woman with whom I have a far from 'maternal' connection, if any at all.

She's DH's mother he's naturally free to do as he wishes. He's as capable of setting a phone reminder and scribbling an address on an envelope as I am. I don't find infantalizing grown adult men works with my mindset, and this isn't the example I'd want to set to our son.

This post isn't expressing a wish to piss on anyone else's chips. Live as you like and be happy. As a family we just choose to find pleasure and appreciate our relationships in other ways.

Thats more than fair, I lost my own mother as well and MILf filled that void for me

MIL is a dear. But no, that's for my husband to do. I lost my mum and still feel bitter sweet celebrating with my own children. DC don't send her a card, but she is doted on, quite rightly.

Wouldn’t your DH sign it off from you both?

Yes its from both of us

I live in Wales and have done almost all my life, my children grew up here. I have never heard of grandchildren giving grandmothers cards or DILs giving or signing Mother's Day cards. It doesn't happen in my family or friendship groups.

So you can't generalise and say it happens in Wales. Wales has lots of different areas and demographics, maybe in some areas it's more common but it certainly isn't something that happens all over.

Ive always bought my mil a card usually signed from both me and DP as mil and I have always got on and I have been NC with my own mother for years. My mother in law always treated me as an extra daughter and I loved her to bits, however she passed away last October and I miss her everyday and even though she is not with us in body anymore we have her ashes in a gorgeous wooden urn on the mantlepiece and I will be getting her a card this year too and putting it next to her urn she is missed everyday and I will never forget her.

Im not generalising, it is a very distinct difference in attitude to what is on here about it though, its as if the traditional wife work is expected and accepted on that particular welsh language forum I posted on, in contrast to here where it is almost frowned upon

No way! I can’t stand her! My DH doesn’t give her one either… she nor he believe in it but he treats me thankfully!

Is she mothered me in anyway I suppose I would, but she doesn't, so I don't.

Ouch, catty today 😂.

no I don’t. She’s my husband’s Mum not mine

I think you are generalising because you say it frequently happens in Wales and I'm saying it certainly doesn't happen all over Wales.

Interesting that you say you've had different responses on a Welsh language forum, because Welsh speakers are concentrated in particular areas of Wales and only 17% of all people in Wales speak any Welsh according to the latest census, so on that forum you're going to get a very small sample of Wales as a whole, compared to Mumsnet which has a million users from all over the country.

I live in an area of Wales where there are very few Welsh first language speakers.

They might not be his mother but they are his grandmother's.. im shocked that u dont do that. Each to their own but in our family we always give from the children.

If grandparents had 'their' day like mothers and fathers day fair enough, but they dont ...