Do you give mothers day card to your mother in law?

[Bettyboops1]

Just curious. There was a post on here the other day where OP did not know if she would give her MIL a mothers day card after MIL cut her off. The reply’s seemed to be more focused on peoples astonishment that OP gave her MIL a mothers day card in the first place, and wondering why her children gave their grandmother a mothers day card. I personally give every year, she is DH mum , and I encourage my DC to write a mothers day card to their grandma plus a gift from myself and DH and a gift from the children. I thought this was really normal, but reading the post the other day it is apparently scoffed upon and wife work nonsense? Thoughts? Whats the norm?

so your DH buys you a card but you have to buy HIS mum a card? I mean if you’re talking strange, I think that’s pretty strange. Or am I misunderstanding?

I assume the cards for grandmothers or other relatives are for cases where the children are looked after by those relatives.

Of course :) there are quite a few who have mentioned on this thread that they do give to grandmothers, and some didn’t even realise it was a thing, so it’s eye opening either way. I am aware that most of my friends and family also give to grandma as well :)

I've never ever seen a card that says "To Grandma on Mother's day" no.

Having said that I've never bought my own mother a mother's day card that says Happy Mother's Day either. Both she and I and my children loathe bought cards that have Mother, daughter, son, grandma etc on the front. That's only acceptable if it's homemade by a child.

We always buy blank cards with no messages on the front so I simply don't ever look at specific Mother's Day cards. I bought the card I'll give her months ago when somewhere I visited had lovely cards.
My granddaughter has never given me a card on mother's day either so I just didn't know it was a thing.

From our children because they are too little themselves yet you see. And yes i buy his mum a card from us, he never has, i always bought my mum a mothers day card and when mum died rather than not wanting anything to do with mothers day ever again i suppose i gave her a card instead of my own mum, because she was the next best thing to my own mother i had left, is that strange?

From our children because they are too little themselves yet you see. And yes i buy his mum a card from us, he never has, i always bought my mum a mothers day card and when mum died rather than not wanting anything to do with mothers day ever again i suppose i gave her a card instead of my own mum, because she was the next best thing to my own mother i had left, is that strange?

DH does, if that's what you mean? I'm not sure how he signs it off, I've never considered it before to be honest!

I don't buy mother's day cards for women who aren't my mother, nor do my children.
I'm genuinely surprised you think it's normal to give a mother's day card to someone who isn't your mother. Where do you draw the line? Would you give one to your cousin's mother? Your neighbour's mother?
However, the PP who now buys for her late husband's mother is a kind soul ❤️

The strange thing imho is your DH not bothering OP.

The line is drawn with my husbands mother because she is my husbands mother, grandmother to my children and the next best thing to a mother figure i have in my life after my own mother died. Im surprised that you are suprised as i know the majority of my friends ensure their mil’s are given cards snd from their children to grandma. Its what we did as well and watched mum do

Maybe, but like i said previously its probably a reflection of his own father never bothering with things like that,

No. I give my mum a card. My DH gives his mum a card. My children give me a card.
I don’t give Mother’s Day cards to grandmothers. They are not the mothers of my children, I am.

No, wouldn’t dream of it (like she wouldn’t dream of getting me a gift that wasn’t passive aggressively shit). DH isn’t British and their Mother’s Day is a different date to ours, I very deliberately don’t even know when it is.

I get a card and gift for my mum and its up to dh to buy his mum a card and gift

Dh did. I think i bought the card once or twice when he was overseas with work but it was on him asking me to.

I never gave my mother one. It was not as big a thing when I grew up overseas.

Then strange bit he is at the shops buying you a card and he still doesn't get one for his mum but leaves it to you. Why doesn't he get his kids to help choose both cards? It makes no sense.

This isn’t at all funny OP - it’s mean, careless and thoughtless of him. Really. I’ve got sons and the idea that they wouldn’t ever think to get me a Mother’s Day card until one day their future partner did it for them?!?

My DH and I help each other out with this sure - he absolutely considers it his job to get his mum a mothers day card - but if I happened to be in a nice card shop and I knew he was really busy that week, I’d text him and ask if he’d like me to get one for her, I’d send a few pics and he’d choose his favourite. But usually he’d do it, and he’ll always be the one to write and send it. Sometimes I’ll help out with good ideas if I happen to have thought of something I know she’d like, as I love her dearly. But he’s her son and it should come from him primarily.

Like ive said before it probably stems from the type of father DH has, so DH showing our children that their mum needs a card and gift and to be spoilt on mothers day actually is a big deal for him. I dont think they notice that im the one buying their grandmother a card, its what mum did with us because she knew our father was hopeless with things like that, like a previous poster said on here, she a d her husband had their own jobs, and she was happy with card buying being her job.

No. She’s not my Mum. If DH wants to that’s fine but as I find it all very upsetting after my DM died when I was young, I’m not having anything to do with reminding him about it.

Have you said to him "make sure you pick up a card for your mum when you are getting mine"?

No because its not an issue, I’m happy to give her like i say because shes the next best thing to a motherly figure in my life after my mum died

It doesn’t really matter what’s “normal” or what most people do. People have different family dynamics and different love languages.

Then strange bit he is at the shops buying you a card and he still doesn't get one for his mum but leaves it to you

Yes, this: surely the sensible thing to do would be to buy the two cards at the same time?

I would be really upset if my grown adult of a son left it up to his wife to buy me a card rather than taking 5 minutes to send me one himself.

No, I’ll be giving her a St Patrick’s Day card though.