To let dd self initiate potty training?

[astrangeb]

Any other way seems laden with disaster.

Gave it a try yesterday and today; yesterday wasn’t too bad, today she just had seven accidents (at nursery)

I am thinking leave it until she initiates it.

Leave it until Easter and then give it a week. DS was 3 when he cracked daytime but 7 when he was nappy free at night.

Easter is only a couple of weeks away really. I can’t see much changing between now and then unless it comes from her.

I found potty training one of the worst bits of parenting OP! My DS2 (same age as your DD) had lots of accidents for the first 8-10 days before he got the hang of it. But it was worth the pain for no more nappies.

We did this. DD decided it herself when she was ready, never had an accident, and was super independent immediately. I really recommend it.

It’s awful, isn’t it? I had to put a nappy on her as she was up so early she really needed a nap today and her little face was so relieved.

I’m not trying to be horrible but this sounds pretty normal? I think most kids have a few days which are pretty bad- most families I know stay at home for the first couple of days. And at least she’s showing willing and happy to sit on the potty.

If this is still the situation in a week I’d say stop for a a couple of months and try again but I honestly think if you stick with it you’ll get there.

I don’t think that’s horrible at all, it’s more the ‘you’re so lazy and no wonder children are starting reception in nappies’ comments I meant.

We have been at home. It hasn’t made any real difference.

Thanks though, that’s encouraging, I’m not sure she understands.

It's day 3 of you not really trying and you've had some success. I wouldn't quit now unless you really have to. She won't really understand until she feels the sensation before and during peeing quite a few times. Hang on in there and give it a real proper go over Easter with no nappies at all apart from sleep.

I think we have tried, the only day I didn’t try was when she was at nursery and unfortunately work won’t accept ‘my two year old is potty training’ as a reason for absence.

At the moment, she isn’t getting it. I’m sure she will, if not she will have to go to university in pull ups. Quite unlikely though.

What does trying look like?
Pressuring her into a potty that she doesn't know yet how to use isn't particularly helpful. Watching like a hawk and putting the potty under when she wees helps make the link.

An alternative is using the actual toilet. Some kids hate the potty.

Honestly, @astrangeb potty training is bloody awful. I think the narrative that kids crack it in a day is so unhelpful. It makes people think they’ve failed if they don’t have a child that works like that. In my experience, it took ages to feel really confident that there wouldn’t be an accident. I also found with both of mine they did really well at first, got bored once the bribery stopped and regressed a bit. It is a journey that requires persistence and patience. It can take a longtime to learn that it’s better to go to the toilet even if it means you miss an exciting game than weeing on the floor.

@Happytaytos i am sure you are right and I am doing it all wrong, so it probably does make sense to wait until it comes from her.

In case you hadn’t noticed I’m not having a great time of things so I don’t really feel like arguing.

Timeline has been

Thursday - repeated requests from DD to change her nappy, I suggest using the potty. She has a wee and an hour or so later a poo. Lots of praise for both. Little wee later on. And an accident on the floor.

Rang nursery and asked how they’d like me to play it. They said to bring her with lots of changes of clothes. DD very resistant to nappies and had a tantrum when I put her nappy on to go to bed.

Friday - nursery, disaster, she weed through every set of clothes I sent in and one set of nursery clothes, in the end they put her in a nappy.

Then Friday evening the nappy was dry and she weed as soon as she sat on the potty; thought - maybe it’s a nursery issue.

Today - disaster, weed on the floor this morning, sat on the potty for ages doing nothing then as soon as put her pants on weed, pooed on the floor, weed in her pants …

I put a nappy on so she could nap (she doesn’t usually but was up very early) and she just looked relieved.

I keep reading it takes around three days; there’s no way she’s going to be ready by Tuesday.

Thanks @Bunnycat101 , it is really hard and I don’t really know how to go about it. Lots of contradictory advice and suggestions out there. Everyone I know has a child that just decided not to use nappies.

I'm not being harsh here at all but I don't read any of what you have done as really trying. As in you being proactive about either putting her on the potty, or watching her (apologies if I am wrong and you have been, and this was the result). Friday at nursery doesn't count, she needs to have more success at home before trying at nursery imo.

I'm not t trying to argue. Potty training is shit and the 3 days is 3 intense days of watching like a hawk and hope the links are starting to be forged. It's not 3 days to be done. Took us more like 2 weeks (teacher here too who did it over Christmas).

You either know liars, people with rose tinted glasses or people who left it ridiculously late. Ignore them.

OK - so I haven’t tried. I clearly don’t care and I am lazy. Shall we move on?

I don’t really know what else I can do other than try to get her on the potty when she starts to wee but I never seem to manage it and by the time I’ve grabbed her it’s done. I’m sure that’s just me not making any effort though.

Sorry my message was possibly abrasive. If you consider Thursday that sounds led by her, Friday doesn't really count so you're one day in.

You're not lazy at all. I think almost all posters have said that it takes time and effort and it's not particularly fun or enjoyable.

You might be best to give up and try in a solid block over Easter.

You do seem very down about everything. Are things OK elsewhere in your life?

You're doing the right thing by putting her on the potty when she wees. Even if she's done, pop her on for a few seconds so she links the sensation.

If she was relieved to have a nappy back on maybe just wait until the summer. Also some children do have a lot of accidents so don't worry too much of the first few days are hit and miss. DD2 showed no interest in training or signs of being ready so I just decided to train her age 3. She was happy to try, not scared or upset or anything but it took her a couple of weeks to fully crack it.

I let my daughter initiate it. She went straight to using the toilet and barely had any accidents. This was when she was 2y 10m and she’s been dry through the night since she turned 3 with no bedtime accidents whatsoever. We’ve maybe been lucky, but it felt so effortless letting her decide herself

Thanks @Happytaytos . I’ve not had a great week tbh

I didn’t potty train mine. I mean, I intended to but she initiated it herself. So that can happen. Could you wait until the summer hols and have a good go then?

Park the training for now and do it when you feel better x

YABU to think you can 'give it a try' and send her off the next day.

Get a few books on potty training and accept it will take a lot of work on your part to teach this new habit.

Learn to spot signs of readiness - wakes from nap with dry nappy, seeks out a private place to poo in the nappy, shows curiosity about what you're doing in the bathroom when you use the loo...

You will need to prepare your child well ahead of training, by letting her go with you when you use the loo, narrating what you're doing there and why, and there are many books on the market about learning to use the potty that you should read with her.

Ds figured it out when we were away on holiday with my parents, my dad had bladder problems so every time my dad went to the toilet while we were out he took ds with him, we had daytime cracked in 5 days.

Just stick at it. DD was having accidents multiple times a day and then, suddenly, it clicked.