To let dd self initiate potty training?

[astrangeb]

Any other way seems laden with disaster.

Gave it a try yesterday and today; yesterday wasn’t too bad, today she just had seven accidents (at nursery)

I am thinking leave it until she initiates it.

Normal, she will get used to it. Keep persisting. No such things as letting them do it themselves, like anything you need to teach them. She's well old enough to do it. Keep at it over the weekend, stay in, encourage and reward.

How so? I mean. I’ve literally encouraged her to use the potty, praised her efforts and then asked nursery their advice and sent her with a lot of changes of clothes.

I am willing to accept I’m doing it all wrong and I believe I am but I don’t really know where I’m turning it into a battle of wills.

Don’t you get at least 2 weeks holiday as a teacher? Do it then.

It's not your dd's fault that nappies are expensive you are approaching the whole thing with a bunch of (unconscious) negativity and pressure.

You have got to keep it light and maintain a sense of humour.

You need to put effort in and train her. Seven accidents are loads, not “only”. My DDs were both trained (for daytimes) within a few days. That’s very normal. I waited till I had time at home, over the Christmas holidays, and did it then. No accidents since then. The elder was two and three months, and the younger two and five months. The younger was older purely because of where Christmas fell in relation to her birthday.

No of course it isn’t! I was just pointing out to everyone who was accusing me of being lazy etc that it would be good for me if she trained.

Why is it that we encourage our toddlers to walk, to feed themselves, to learn other things but potty training gets left as late as possible in some instances.

I am a working mum as well so I know it’s difficult . I took a week off both times I tried to potty train my son. Nursery were involved and well able to take over . First time he was around the same age as your daughter. He cried his eyes out and said he wanted his nappy and started holding poos so I stopped . Nursery staff (who i highly respect and trust ) agreed it wasn’t the right time . One of them said to me wait until the summer it’s so much easier so that’s what I did when he turned 3 in the summer . It still wasn’t easy but he was definitely more ready than the first time and it is definitely easier in summer you can let them wander around in the garden and it’s not as big a deal if they have an accident and they aren’t as cold and uncomfortable. I don’t think they are ever truly “ready” and it still takes a bit of hard work and perseverance but if your instinct is that this is not the right time I would hold off until the summer. Holding off until 4 hoping they will just do it themselves isn’t realistic.

You are not doing it wrong, don't worry there isn't a right way as such.

I just noticed that you are using lots of loaded words around this.

First you need to relax, and give your dd a chance. Have you ever toilet trained a puppy, it's not unsimilar.

We trained our DD at 2 years 9 months, so similar age.

I'm afraid it took me being on mat leave and my DH taking 3 days off work (so 5 days training including the weekend). We didn't go out the first 2-3 days and then let her practice whilst out and about.

Before then she had been using the potty at nursery (refusing at home) whilst in pull-ups for awhile. They were happy to encourage her to use it with everyone else until she was ready, which helped.

What did it for us at home oddly was a potty that looks like a toilet with it's own "flush" (picked up from Aldi - £15 I think). It was more comfortable I think and made the transition easier. We still have to remind her to go when she's having fun.

Edit to say I did home-make a rewards chart for the first week and bought some colourful celebration stickers for her to add every time she did a wee on the potty. And a sweet treat for every day she was dry. Incentives do work!

Expect accidents. Sorry to be twee but they are just 'ooopsies' keep praising and bribing if nothing else helps. As a pp mentioned, chocolate. buttons are greta but you are no way there yet, your dd is doing brilliantly if she already did all that at home. Nursery is a different ball game.

I wouldn’t try the self-initiating personally. We know a family who were very laidback about potty training and refused to persevere with it if it felt too challenging, believing they were not ready. It ended up being brought up by the child’s nursery in a meeting (who were concerned the child would be starting reception in nappies) because by this point the child was extremely attached to their nappy and having a poo inside it. It ended up taking them over a year. Some children find it trickier than others.

If you’re a teacher (as am I), I’d do it over the summer if not a few days over Easter. It’s important so my husband and I both booked time off together and turned down some family plans. We also had a newborn so it was tricky at first but then it all fell into place pretty quickly. DD was just turned two.

I would leave it either a month or 2 and try again.
My youngest was clueless aged 2y and 7 months. 2 months later she got it straight away. And shortly after was out of nappies at night time as well.

If she only goes to nursery twice a week then don't start potty training the day before, utilise the other days. Many parents take annual leave to potty train to avood nursery until they are ready. I understand as we just finished potty training mine a few weeks ago at age 3y4mo which felt really late but she just was not ready earlier. But we didn't send her into nursery until she was ready.

I guess because like all things if they won’t then there’s not much you can do to force it. Probably not the best example as I do frequently have to feed her, otherwise she wouldn’t eat!

Ps we had about 10 accidents our first day and even more on day 2. I recommend the Oh Crap book.

well, she goes Tuesdays and Fridays. Ideally we’d have started Wednesday but she initiated it herself yesterday and I didn’t want to quash her enthusiasm.

Had to put my two cents in as this has just happened with my DC. They’re 3.4yrs and I was feeling a failure for not having them toilet trained and feeling like I was being lazy. However, they were not showing any signs and a speech delay (no SEN) that’s slowly catching up. They asked for a pack of pants at the supermarket whilst we were getting other clothes as they like the character on them. I got them but was internally suspecting I was wasting money as had them choose their own pants previously but they just decided for whatever reason that the time was now and has worn pants since. Going against the grain but we went out and about, a couple of accidents caught quickly here and there but it’s been just under two weeks and no accidents at all since the start of week two. The first week had quite a few accidents at nursery and again thought may be they weren’t quite ready but they’ve been absolutely fine - suspect they’ll probs be accidents on occasion in the future. But don’t feel like we did anything by the book but it’s been a lot less stressful than anticipated and with hindsight I’m glad I didn’t push it sooner

No - never had a dog!

I probably am, but I had an awful time training her brother so the whole thing is a bit anxiety laden for me.

It was the wrong advice because she was stressed by being in pants and not knowing what to do.
Train her at home first, then send her out in pants. You can't rush the actual training bit.

It depends how old she is. My daughter potty trained herself aged 2. We were going to a bbq and she said she didn't want to wear her nappies, she wanted pants. We took a potty along. She had a few accidents that day and then picked it up. My youngest took a bit longer and was in night nappies until reception..

all children are differnt my eldest took her happy off and said they were for babies and never had one accident after that. She was 19 months. My other children were later. I made sure I had a week and just practiced all the time. Only took a few days and they were fine. Try not to stress she is still young

So in a new twist nursery had put a nappy on her to come home in and it was bone dry just now. Encouraged the potty and she has a wee straightaway.

So it does seem to be some anxiety related to nursery.

You can’t potty train at nursery. Some parents do take leave so they can potty train. It’s a great deal of pressure though to do it on a time limit.

you need to use nappies or pull ups at nursery. It’s just not an environment for potty training.it will take longer going back and forth, but you will get it done.

Just stay home as much as possible until training is complete.

But there are things you can do about it. My second child held her wee at first rather than going in the potty, so I just gave her lots of nice drinks. There comes a point when it has to come out, and the moment that happens you plonk them on the potty, if there’s a single drop in there you celebrate massively about what an amazing job they’ve done, and repeat from there.

I don’t believe in putting them on the potty and making them sit there for ages or randomly as that doesn’t help them connect needing to go with going to the potty.