To let dd self initiate potty training?

[astrangeb]

Any other way seems laden with disaster.

Gave it a try yesterday and today; yesterday wasn’t too bad, today she just had seven accidents (at nursery)

I am thinking leave it until she initiates it.

Most of us train our seconds with the firsts being around. Just get on with it!

Im
a useless shit mum though.

Just leave it. I don’t know where you got four accidents from. More like fourteen.

Taking a breather and leaving it til Easter or summer sounds totally reasonable. You can still leave the potty about if you wanted.

With my eldest we had two false starts at about 2.5 and then a similar age to your daughter because quite frankly they got distressed (even when I got the potty out before we were even going to try). Waited til the month before they turned 3 when we had some time off work to fully focus and it was much better. It was still a slog but they were far more receptive (as was I) and were willing and able to put in practice what they needed to do (poo took a lot longer but was willingness rather than capability). In some ways I wonder if we’d waited the extra month til after their 3rd b’day, if it would’ve clicked quicker. I’d say people we know mostly started within a couple of months either side of their child’s 3rd birthday.

I do think for some kids that doing it more on their terms is necessary. We did ultimately have to make the decision to commit as I think she’d have happily stayed in nappies a lot longer otherwise. But I think we would’ve had a far trickier time and caused a lot of anxiety if we’d just carried on during one of the earlier attempts. You know your child’s temperament and it’s totally understandable you need to be in the right head space too.

All will be well in the end 😊.

Is dad around? Maybe he could take a week off and do it, take the emotion/stress out of it a bit?

I mean, that’s very obviously not true, so you can knock that on the head right now. Useless, shit mums don’t give a fuck whether their kids potty train. They certainly don’t agonise about it on parenting forums.

my hard deadline was six months before starting school, so that they had a good run of practice before going to a new environment. Both of mine weren’t potty trained before 3 1/2 - they weren’t ready, had no idea what was going on, and started withholding and we decided that late nappies were preferable to constipation and UTIs. Once we did try, we used the Christmas holidays as a block of ten days we both had off work and it was tedious, repetitive, dispiriting and pissy. But after ten days, we’d made it for wees, and then we just used shameless bribery with little toys for poos after leaving them in pull-ups for a few weeks, which they didn’t wet, just pooed in. (This is the younger one, btw - the older one WAS one of those kids where we just took the pull-ups away and said here’s your pants and there were two wee accidents and that was it!)

It is one of the hardest bits of parenting small children. You will get there. If I were you, I’d leave it until summer and give it a really good go then. If your head isn’t in the right space, it won’t work.

You really will get there! Honestly. You will. You’re doing great.

My eldest initiated it. We had started at the age of 2 but it became a huge stressful nightmare so I tipped and we went back to nappies. 6 months later they asked to use the toilet and within two days we had no nappies.

Sometimes it does take a while for children to be fully toilet trained my oldest is 19 and I started when he was two and a half He would happily wee in the potty whilst naked but as soon as I dressed him he would wee whilst wearing pants etc he was three years and two months before he was reliably trained in the great scheme of things this was fine ,he hadn't started either school or nursery at that point
My youngest severely autistic non verbal etc and was in nappies until he was nine ( in a special school )

My older 2 were a nightmare to toilet train. I don’t actually remember toilet training the youngest do it must have been simpler. I do remember him going to bed one night and refusing a night time nappy. Neither of the other 2 were dry at night at that time (both asd) and I was ver sceptical but he insisted on no night time nappy.

and that was that, the boy was clean and dry night and day.

there are signs they are physically and emotionally ready and until they are you’re fighting a losing battle.

16.5 years is a long time to potty train. Any sen?

The signs are: are they 20-30 months old? Yes? ✅ crack on

What? Less than a year for my oldest and he was fully trained at three years two months
Youngest came out of nappies at nine but hes severely autistic non verbal etc.

Thanks all. I do feel better and a bit more pragmatic today. Worlds tiniest wee ever before bed, lots of praise and positivity.

I found https://www.nct.org.uk/information/baby-toddler/caring-for-your-baby-or-toddler/five-signs-your-child-ready-for-potty-training this] I liked; it was rooted in kindness and common sense.