To let dd self initiate potty training?

[astrangeb]

Any other way seems laden with disaster.

Gave it a try yesterday and today; yesterday wasn’t too bad, today she just had seven accidents (at nursery)

I am thinking leave it until she initiates it.

How old is she? Both my daughters basically decided themselves when to stop wearing nappies. Eldest was 2 and half and told me friend at nursery doesn’t wear nappies anymore and she didn’t want to either.
Second one basically went off, took her nappy off, put knickers on and told me she wasn’t wearing them anymore. She was 3.
We had potties around and both saw me and dad go to the toilet. I realise I am very lucky in this scenario and this is not the norm but it can happen!

Nursery will be on board with it, just send her in with loads of spares. And don’t worry too much. Agree with others you need to spend some dedicated time working on this with her.

We trained DC at 2.5, when we went on holiday for a week, gave a chance to start bedding in the changes with only ourselves impacted in the event of an accident (there were loads when we were out and about, all part of the process).

if you leave it to your child, what will be driving them to initiate it?

Assuming this is your first DC, it’s so much better when they can use the loo themselves.

Not really sure why you’ve asked when you’ve already decided and are so confident about it. I’d give it another try in a few months if she doesn’t ask before then, but obvs if you want to wait until right before school she’s your kid and you no her best.

People seem so delusional about how easy potty training is. Yes some kids are pretty good with a few days a week but some kids take months to really get the hang. It's a very complicated a process that can take time. Children are very unlikely to initiate it themselves. Multiple accidents is par for the course early on. Just buy loads of knickers and trousers and crack on. Expect more washing. For my LO going commando was the way we cracked it. Knickers felt too much like nappies.

I have five children. They were all born within 4 years. With my oldest I did all the things - took time off from work to concentrate on potty training, give rewards, etc. He had no interest. It got to the point where it was easier for me just to change the diapers, so I didn't push it. All of my boys were completely trained at 3 years and 3 months with no involvement from me. They were just ready. And when they were trained that was it - they almost never had an accident. One did wear pull ups at night for quite a while but I think that was because he was lazy!

Seriously 😂

You'll have May half term or the whole summer to potty train then!

She’s the perfect age, but cracking it in one day is not realistic. The nightmare scenario is one where you stop now and have a few half arsed attempts. Keep going.

Perpetuated by Pampers.

The concept of readiness was literally invented by the people who sell nappies, OP.

Think about that before you buy into it and give up after a single day.

What you are describing is perfectly normal. You need to tackle each thing at a time.

Mine didn't like potties so I stuck them on the toilet on toddler seats (when I knew they needed to go), while reading to them or distracting them. They can't hold on in that situation. Enormous reward for 'good behaviour' when it happens.

As you're a teacher I'd do it over the summer.

Having worked in education for many years, lots of children would and do happily wear nappies at 4. It’s a growing problem (I’m not talking about dc with additional needs)

Of course you have to train (aka teach) her for potty training.
from birth she’s worn a nappy since birth, weeing / pooing in it is completely ingrained in her.
you need to basically reconfigure her brain patterns to not do that anymore.

download the Oh Crap! Potty Training book and dedicate a few days to it. She’ll most likely make the switch pretty easily with some proper guidance. I trained mine at 2yrs1 month. Accidents are to be expected, doesn’t mean they’re not ready. Just means new mental pathways are being developed

Do you not have time off over the summer?

It’s only been two days ? I’m not sure what you thought was going to happen. But there’ll be plenty of accidents.
I took 2 weeks off work with my first two boys to start toilet learning. The first few days every single wee was an accident.
the charity ERIC has some great evidence based information that I find useful. They say that some children never show signs of readiness and encourage parents to teach and help their child learn. eric.org.uk/potty-training/

Step up and train her.

She won't doi it on her own, she's a good age, getting a bit old tbh.... Do it this Easter, and save yourself time and money.

I can't fathom why you would leave it another year!

I probably will do it over the summer. Just that she seemed to be showing an interest yesterday.

Nursery didn’t mind (I rang them yesterday to explain and they just said to send 5/6 changes of clothes) but she wee’d through all of them and she wouldn’t wee on the potty at all.

i find it incredibly stressful. As she gets closer to three I feel a bit judged and so taking the more child led approach seems sensible.

@Abd80 i knew there would be plenty of accidents but this isn’t a sort of accident in the sense that she s still learning what to do; she’s refusing to do anything on the potty. So not really an accident (I don’t mean she’s being naughty but it’s behavioural rather than an accident.)

There are posts every year on here from parents whose child is a couple of months away from going to school and they have never even tried potty training.

four year olds have a lot more willpower than two year olds so training them is often much harder.

She isn't ready. As you are a teacher wait until the summer when you have time. Also learn to not give two shits about the judgement from others. My girl would poo her panties until she was five.

I don’t think that’s totally true. It’s easier to reason with a four year old. I don’t think many non SEN children from educated and supportive homes are starting school and are not toilet trained. I thought she’d take to it easily and am a bit 😩😩 she hasn’t (nappies are very expensive) but there’s no point forcing it if she won’t.

OPs's child is two.

Who said they aren't parenting? Plenty of reasons for children to not have cracked it by then.

That’s what I did both times and both DDs were out of nappies and accident free within 5 days.

There are limits though, I’d not let it get past age 3.5 without at least trying

I agree with you. I think it is a myth. My son is one of very few in nappies in his school nursery but he is likely autistic.

Her reply was in response to OP saying a four year old wouldn’t want to be in nappies.