To let dd self initiate potty training?

[astrangeb]

Any other way seems laden with disaster.

Gave it a try yesterday and today; yesterday wasn’t too bad, today she just had seven accidents (at nursery)

I am thinking leave it until she initiates it.

Nursery have suggested trying over the weekend but if it isn’t happening not to worry. I’m trying not to stress and be upset about it.

It’s not a myth. I have worked in reception classes for years. There’s always one or two that still aren’t toilet trained.

Children can have lots of frequent accidents at first, as they start to wee and don’t like the sensation of being wet so stop themselves. They don’t fully empty their bladder so once changed into clean clothes, can then do the exact same thing ad infinitum!

Kids dont potty train themselves parents have to take the lead and teach them. The reason kids are so late now is parents are waiting for some magic time which doesnt exists. All my sons were trained just after there 2nd birthday because I trained them. The key time for potty training is between 2 and 2.5 years old. Starting later than that makes it harder for them not easier.

Start viewing its as something you have to teach her like maths, reading etc. First off all pick a time when you have a few days off and can be home, put her in pants as if she has an accident it helps her feel wet and uncomfortable. Stop day nappies totally, loads of praise, encouragement and take her every 20 minutes to the potty.

The most recent research from ERIC tells us that the concept of toileting readiness is a fallacy. Children need to be taught toileting and toilet related skills, you can’t just expect her to wake up one day and say okay mummy I’m ready to use the toilet now.

You need to fully commit for an extended period, not just two days, and get nursery on board - they will be used to toilet training children and happy to do it.

Like some others have said I did it in about 10 days.I had a book potty training in a week.Basically taking a potty and a covered cushion for the pushchair.Sitting my child on the potty really regularly until he got the idea.

Not sure why you’re asking or why “Any other way seems laden with disaster”. That’s highly dramatic language.

Both of mine have spring birthdays so when it was warm enough to be pantless in April/May after turning 2 I told them the nappies were gone in the daytime and they could use the potty or loo. DS must have weed on the floor 15 times the first day but he was sorted (and going much less often!) within a few days for wees and poos. They’d tell me they’d done a wee or poo in their nappy before we started but after rather than knowing before so I just got on with it.

You have to take time off to potty train some things you do need to teach your children this is one of them

The SEN kids??

There's a lot of middle ground between 'leave it til summer' and 'she didn't manage nursery after one day'.

Just do a proper weekend with her from now and see where she is come Monday.

Nursery is a very different environment. Even well trained kids struggle there. They are too busy playing or don't want to leave what they are doing.

You were over optimistic she would manage but seem overly pessimistic that you now need to wait months to do it.

The summer will be a good time. Nice and warm to be bare bottomed.

No. I am not including SEN children.

As a teacher I can personally assure you it is not a myth.

op has plenty of time however

Well, you're wrong.

Why do you think primary schools specifically mention being toilet trained these days?

You're wrong.

You're just being lazy and can't be bothered with training, so hoping that she magically trains herself over night.

Step up and do this small bit of work for your sake and your child's.

https://eric.org.uk/potty-training/

Just do it over a long weekend or half term .
Yes you do have to actually get on and do it. Best age is from 18 months- 30 months.
It is surprisingly easyier to train when younger as you are finding out with a 2.8 year old. The older they get the more difficult it gets.
I trained all mine at 2 years . Took a week off work and literally just cracked it. Nothing like the pressure of not wanting to have waised annual leave to make something happen 😂

The child led approach is about noticing the kid "is ready" to be trained and then... Training them. Not hoping that they'll magically be trained overnight through parental laziness.

@astrangeb I disagree with "there's no point forcing it if she won't". It just takes a bit of perseverance.

Agreed, mine "wouldn't" get dressed for school this morning,.... But she went to school dressed...

Summer is a much easier time to train though in my experience, not least because you can spend a lot of time outside and put the potty outside as well.

less cleaning of floors.

training at any time is going to involve a lot of accidents and it’s better on the lawn than on the carpet.

If she can identify when she needs to go and hold it in, she’s ready to be potty-trained.

There’s absolutely no point doing this. It’s a long haul, not a week or so like people claim. Both mine took months. It’s better if you just accept this and relax. Maybe take a fridsy off and start at home over a long weekend, but then just get on with your normal life. Nursery will be two steps forward one steps back (if they have a bunch of accidents on j one day they just put a nappy on)

There are a lot of aggressive and quite unpleasant posts here.

I posted because I find it really stressful and I don’t know what the best thing to do is. It seems foolish to force her if she’s currently refusing. I really, genuinely don’t think she’s going to go to school with a nappy on. I think children who do are either SEN (diagnosed or otherwise) or they are from homes where there is some additional support needed, and there is sometimes some crossover between the two.

I am not lazy, just reluctant to force a battle of wills.

My 2.5 girl did not want to haha. She's my third and I still managed it. I did it in Feb half term. She never wants to do anything not on her own agenda 🤣

I'd leave it til summer, when she's 3/almost 3. Take a week off work and focus. One smartie for wee and 2 for a poo. Job done!